Fragile Lives
by RowArk
Summary: Swan Queen AU: wherein a very damaged Regina and meets a very vulnerable Emma long before her 28th birthday, and they have ongoing sexual hook-ups throughout the years, both of them completely unaware that Regina has adopted Emma's son... until Henry brings Emma to Storybrooke, and they begin to realize that maybe meaningless sex wasn't as meaningless as they once thought.
1. Chapter 1

_**FRAGILE LIVES**_

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**CHAPTER 1**

**Portland, Oregon. October 22, 2000**

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Regina's dark eyes scanned the room. It was a skeevy bar, not her first choice, but it was the only one near her hotel. She hated Portland, and the prospect of a half-drunk hook up before she flew out the next day was the highlight of this entire trip.

It didn't take long for her to spot an ideal candidate. She could smell insecurity and desperation a mile away, and the bight-eyed blonde sitting alone across the room was emitting vulnerability like a beacon. Regina smiled to herself as she watched the blonde nursing some sort of fruity drink. She looked so cute, and a little bit innocent, as her eyes moved around the room, not staying on any one person for long.

Regina sipped on her red wine as she drank in the intoxicating woman who had captivated her. She was dressed simply enough: light coloured jeans ripped at the knees, and a black bra under a tight white camisole. A stark contrast to Regina's tight burgundy mini-dress with flimsy spaghetti straps.

Regina watched as a brown-haired man - or rather, boy, really, since he looked like he was about twelve - walked up to the blonde and seemingly introduced himself. She watched with half a smile as they made awkward conversation with each other, neither seeming to have a clue what they were doing. A fleeting idea of a threesome crossed Regina's mind, until she saw that the blonde clearly growing uncomfortable with the boy's advances. Regina decided now was the time to make her move.

Standing up, Regina picked up her glass of wine and sauntered over to the blonde's table, nonchalantly. She pulled an empty chair up beside the blonde's, and placed her glass down on the table. Sliding into the chair, she slipped an arm around the blonde's shoulders, pulling her close and planting a kiss on her cheek.

"Sorry I'm late, Sweetie," she cooed, turning her eyes to stare down the boy sitting across from them.

"Are you two, like, _together?_" He stammered.

Regina raised an eyebrow and smirked at him, relishing in his nervousness. "Well, you didn't think a pretty girl like her would be here all alone, did you?"

The boy flushed and stammered a nervous apology before quickly excusing himself, causing Regina's smirk to grow into a devious grin.

"Ta-ta!" Regina called after him, sarcastically, with a little wave.

"Thanks for saving me," the blonde said with a small laugh, "he was so obnoxious."

Regina smiled, and removed her arm from the blonde's shoulder, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. "Not a problem, dear. Men in bars are usually cads. My name is Regina, by the way."

"I'm Emma."

"Emma," Regina repeated, tasting the name in her mouth.

Emma shifted nervously in her seat, and played awkwardly with the straw in her drink.

"What are you drinking?" Regina asked, nodding towards Emma's nearly empty glass.

"Strawberry Daiquiri?" Emma replied, slightly embarrassed. Truthfully, this was her first time in a bar and she'd had no idea what to order. All she'd ever drank before was cheap beer swiped from a variety store on a couple of occasions.

Regina didn't comment on Emma's choice of drink, just smirked and got up to go to the bar. She returned moments later with two shot glasses of an opaque pink liquid, that reminded Emma vaguely of Pepto Bismol.

"Tequila Rose," Regina said, handing a shot glass to Emma, "you like fruity drinks, you'll love it." Regina clinked her own glass against Emma's, and they both downed the shots.

Emma licked her lips nervously as she set her shot glass back down, and looked at Regina, trying to figure out what she was supposed to do or say next. She'd never had someone buy her a drink before, and she and certainly never expected that the first time it happened it would be an enchanting dark-haired goddess like Regina.

Emma flushed at her own thoughts, and turned her eyes back to her empty shot glass, chewing on her bottom lip awkwardly.

For her part, Regina was reveling in the girl's obvious nervousness and inexperience. "So, Emma, tell me why a pretty girl like you _is_ out alone on a Saturday night?"

Emma hesitated for a moment. She didn't want to tell this captivating stranger that she had just arrived in Portland, not even a week prior, after bolting from yet another foster home. This woman was gorgeous, and a little intimidating, and Emma was pretty sure she didn't want to hear her life story. So she decided to lie. "I was supposed to meet my friends here, but it looks like they stood me up."

"What a shame. Lucky for you I came along. More shots?" Regina didn't wait for an answer before heading back up to the bar. She returned again minutes later with a small tray containing an array of different shots, and Emma wondered exactly what she had gotten herself into.

Regina noticed Emma's eye widen at the sight of the shots, and she smiled. "You seem a little green, Emma, so I got a variety. Widen your horizons, you know?" Regina said, handing Emma a shot glass filled with blue liquid. "Kamikaze."

Emma could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks, and she was glad the bar was dim. She hoped the poor lighting hid the crimson her face was turning, but she also noted that Regina didn't seem to be one to miss very much. She knew her naivety must be glaringly obvious. If Regina noticed, she at least didn't say anything, as they took the Kamikaze shots together.

Emma swallowed hard as she placed the glass back on the table. She could feel her lips starting to go numb, and even though she had never actually been drunk before, she knew that must be what was happening now.

"I can teach you so much, Emma, if you're interested," Regina offered, as she ran her fingers idly over the rim of her empty glass.

"Teach me? Wh-what… can you teach me?" Emma asked, completely mesmerized.

Regina smiled. "Whatever you want, dear. Another shot? Here, try a Lemon drop," Regina said, handing Emma a yellow shot, with sugar on the rim. They clinked glasses and downed this round as quickly as the one before.

Regina smiled as she watched Emma blink a few times. She guessed the room must be starting to spin a little.

Emma licked her lips as she set that glass with the other two. "That one, I liked," she said, a small smile spreading across her lips, as she looked at the remaining glasses on the tray. "What else you got?"

"Feeling bold, are we?" Regina smirked. "Maybe it's time to step it up a notch?"

Before Emma could question what that could possibly mean, Regina handed her another shot glass, with a golden yellow liquid. Emma noted that she didn't pick one up, herself, and she couldn't tear her eyes away as Regina put the tip of her thumb in her mouth, wetting it, and then rubbed it along her own collarbone. She then poured salt from the shaker on the table onto her palm, and Emma watched in anticipation as she sprinkled it along her collarbone, the granules sticking to her saliva.

"Here's something I can teach you Emma," Regina said, winking at her as she picked up a lemon wedge from the small bowl on the tray, and looked back at the glass in Emma's trembling hand. "It's tequila. Lick the salt," she instructed, running her finger just under the line of salt, from edge of her collarbone, inwards to her neck, "take the shot, then suck on the lemon."

Emma's heart pounded fast and hard as Regina placed the lemon wedge between her teeth. _Shit!_ she thought to herself, thinking of the million ways she could probably screw this up. But she didn't want to let Regina down, so she took a deep breath, and went for it. She leaned forward and licked the salt off of Regina's soft skin, inhaling her scent. She smelled exotic to Emma, a scent she had never encountered before. She downed the shot, and met Regina's mouth, biting down into the lemon.

Emma felt her stomach flutter as Regina didn't release her teeth right away, but lingered for a moment, her eyes meeting Emma's. Emma held her breath until Regina finally let go. When she did, Emma gasped for air, and spit the lemon out into her hand, before placing it on the table. Her heart was pounding so hard she thought it might explode out of her chest.

For her part, Regina was very aware of, and very pleased with, the effect she was having on Emma. She could see the other woman was tipsy, but not completely drunk, and she decided it was time.

"You wanna get out of here?" She asked.

"Okay," Emma replied, before it actually hit her what Regina meant by that.

_Oh shit!_ Emma thought to herself, but she couldn't seem to stop herself from getting up and following Regina out of the bar. This woman seemed to have a pull on her that Emma couldn't even begin to understand.

There was a slight chill in the air as they began walking down the sidewalk. Emma didn't have a clue where they were going, but Regina grabbed her hand, and intertwined her fingers between Emma's, and in that moment, Emma thought she probably would have followed Regina straight into the gates of hell, if it meant she could keep feeling her touch.

The walk was a relatively short one, and in that time, Regina told Emma about her business trip, and how she was leaving the next day. Emma's heart sank a little at the revelation that the woman who already had such a hold on her, lived on the other side of the country. But Emma tried not to think about that, and tried to focus on what was happening… and what she was sure was about to happen.

When they reached her hotel room, Regina wasted no time, pushing Emma against the wall, and pressing her lips hard against Emma's. Emma had never been kissed this forcefully before, and suddenly worried that her inexperience would show through. Regina grabbed Emma's wrists, and pinned her arms against the wall, her hands just above her head. Emma was a little grateful, because she wasn't exactly sure what she should be doing with her hands anyway.

Regina could sense Emma's hesitation, and wondered if she was having second thoughts about this liaison. She broke away from the kiss, taking a moment to look at Emma, who stared back at her with nervous expectancy.

"Emma… have you ever been with a woman before? Sexually?" Regina asked, bluntly.

Emma bit her lower lip and turned her eyes away from Regina, who still hand her hands pinned over her head. The situation had just gotten a lot more awkward, and Emma just wanted to disappear.

Regina narrowed her eyes and cocked her head to the side. _Figures. _Emma's silence said it all, but she wondered if there was more she wasn't saying. "Have you been with _anyone _before, sexually?"

Emma wasn't quite sure how to answer that. "um, yes…but…." Emma let her voice trail off, as she met Regina's gaze, finally. Looking into her eyes, Regina could see there was a lot of pain there. Shaking her head, Regina breathed a sigh and closed her eyes. She wasn't in the mood for dealing with some random girl's excess baggage tonight.

Regina opened her eyes again, and saw that Emma's face was crimson with embarrassment. Surprisingly, she actually felt bad for the girl. "It's ok," she said. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-one," Emma replied.

Regina rolled her eyes, and finally released Emma's arms. "I'm not trying to bust you for underage drinking. I would just like to know whether I'm about to commit a felony."

"I'm seventeen."

"Really? You look younger."

"I just turned seventeen. It's my birthday."

"Oh. Well, happy birthday." Regina ran her fingertips up Emma's bare arms, from her wrists to her shoulders, and then cupped her face in her hands. "You still wanna do this?" She asked.

Emma nodded. "Yeah, but… I don't know what to do."

Regina smiled another toothy grin, and leaned in to kiss her again. She traced a line of kiss across Emma's jawbone, and down her neck to her collarbone, while she slid her hands lightly over Emma's breasts and stomach to the hem of her camisole. She slid her hands under the soft fabric, laying her palms against Emma's bare skin, running them back up her torso, over her breasts to her shoulders. Instinctively, Emma raised her arms over her head, allowing Regina to pull her shirt off of her.

Regina continued her trail of kisses over her flushed chest, as she brought her hands back down to cup her breasts again. Emma's heart was racing, and she closed her eyes and tried to regulate her breath. Her legs started to quiver as Regina moved her hands to the top of Emma's jeans, popping open the button.

Kneeling before Emma, she ran her tongue down her torso, while sliding her jeans down to her ankles. She ran one hand back up Emma's leg, to her inner thigh, while tracing kisses along her hip bone. When she reached the top of Emma's panties, she stopped and leaned her head back, looking up at the blonde, who was biting down hard on her bottom lip. Regina smiled. She loved the power she had over her in this moment.

She stood up and kissed Emma's mouth again, before taking her by the hand and leading her to the bed. She pushed Emma down gently onto her back, and climbed on top of her, straddling her on hands and knees, leaning down to kiss her again. She worked her kisses down Emma's neck and chest again, the silky fabric of her dress brushing Emma's skin as she moved, sending chills throughout her body. She trailed kisses over Emma's stomach down to her panties, slipping her fingers beneath them and sliding them down her legs and over her feet before tossing them on the floor beside the bed.

She ran kisses up from Emma's ankle, and she crawled up between her legs, kissing over her calves to her inner thigh, until she reached her wet centre. Emma arched her back slightly, pressing her pelvis forward, as Regina's tongue went to work. Emma squeezed the bedding beneath her so tight her knuckles turned white, as her breath quickened with Regina's movements.

Emma was completely lost in the ecstasy of the moment. Her head was still buzzing from the alcohol, and her body was on fire with Regina's touch, aching for release. And it wasn't long before that release came, and Emma let out a low moan as the orgasm erupted through her.

Regina got back on her hands and knees, her body still between Emma's legs, and crawled over her, licking her lips, until they were face to face. Emma's eyes were closed and she was still breathing heavy as Regina leaned down and kissed her mouth again, letter her taste herself, before rolling off of her to lay beside her.

Emma turned quickly onto her side and looked at Regina expectantly.

"What?" Regina asked, stretching out and sighing.

"Don't you want me to..." Emma's voice trailed off again.

"Reciprocate?" Regina laughed. "I highly doubt you would know how, and I'm done playing teacher tonight. Maybe another time, dear."

Emma's face flushed again, and she wondered why Regina would let it go that far, just to stop so abruptly.

Regina watched Emma sulk as she climbed off the bed and retrieve her panties. "Emma, wait," she said, as Emma was slipping them back on. Emma turned back to see Regina sitting up, holding out a hand to Emma. She took it and sat back down next to her.

"I kind of like you, Emma," Regina commented, "and trust me, that's rare. Are your parents expecting you home tonight?"

"I don't have parents," Emma replied, looking away.

_Great, _Regina thought, _baggage. _But she still wasn't ready to let the blonde leave just yet. "Is anyone waiting for you?" she asked.

Emma shook her head, no.

"Stay the night with me tonight," Regina said.

"Okay," Emma agreed, even though she was pretty sure it wasn't a request.

Regina stood and slipped off her burgundy dress, letting it fall to the floor. "Scoot," she said, shooing Emma out of the way so she could pull the covers back. Emma slid under the blankets, followed by Regina. Regina gently coaxed Emma onto her side, so she could move closer and press her front up against Emma's back, skin on skin, save for lace bras and panties.

Regina put her arm around Emma, and kissed her shoulder lightly, and Emma closed her eyes and started to drift into sleep, while Regina's words repeated in her head: _maybe another time, dear_. Emma smiled, relieved that there was at least a possibility of another time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

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The next morning, Regina woke with a start, momentarily forgetting that she had allowed Emma to stay the night in her bed. She had never let anyone sleep next to her in her life - not even Graham - but something about this little blonde vixen had gotten to her.

And little she was. _Seventeen_. Regina cringed at the thought. This girl was a full year and a half younger than Regina had been, herself, when she was forced to lay with the King on her wedding night. He had stolen her innocence, but something told her that Emma had lost her own innocence long before their two paths had crossed.

The morning sun streamed in from the large East facing window, illuminating Emma's golden tresses. Absently, Regina stroked her soft hair, while Emma continued to sleep. Regina couldn't shake the feeling that something was so familiar about her. She hadn't noticed it the last night, but now she had the feeling that she had met Emma some time before. It didn't make sense; the last time she was in Portland was well over two years ago. Emma would have only been fourteen then, a child. There was no way she had met her then. But still, there was something about her, like she reminded Regina of someone she had once known, a lifetime ago.

Regina banished the thought as Emma began to stir. Emma's eyes fluttered open as she turned to face Regina, with a smile. "Hey," she said softly, her voice raspy with early morning grogginess.

"Good morning," Regina replied, "sleep well?"

"Mmm-hmm," Emma murmured, and she turned to lay facing Regina. Regina couldn't help but notice how her green eyes sparkled in the morning light.

"I have to get up," Regina said, "I have to catch a flight back to Maine this morning."

"Do you really have to go?" Emma pouted.

Regina thought the reaction was a little strange, given that they had known each other all of ten hours, and spent most of that time sleeping, but she decided to brush it off. "Yes, I really have to go," she replied. "But I'll be back in six weeks," she added, almost as an after thought. The point of a one-night stand was that it lasted _one_ night. Regina never went for seconds - at least not with someone whose heart she didn't control - but something about Emma just enticed her too much to let her go so easily.

Emma perked up at the prospect of a second rendez-vous. "Really?" she grinned, not even bothering to hide the excitement on her face.

"Yes, really," Regina said back in a playful, mocking tone. "Write down your phone number and I will call you."

"I don't have a phone," Emma said.

"Of course you don't," Regina sighed. Nothing about this was coming easy. She wondered if she should take that as a sign, but decided instead to ignore it. She got up and grabbed her leather-bound planner from her purse, flipping through the pages. "I will be back in Portland on December 2nd. I have a meeting that goes until seven. I'll be back at this hotel. If you want to see me again, meet me down in the lobby at 7:30. Don't be late, because I won't wait."

Emma grabbed the hotel notepad and pen from the nightstand beside her and jotted down the date and time. It seemed odd to her how Regina laid out instructions for a casual hook up as if she were scheduling a business meeting, but Emma figured if it meant another night with Regina, she would take what she could get.

Regina was already getting ready as Emma slid out of bed, glancing around for her clothes. "When do you have to leave?" she asked, as she pulled on her jeans that were strewn on the floor.

Regina glanced at her watch. "I have some time. I'll call room service and have them send us up some breakfast."

"Really?" Emma's eyes lit up, and she suddenly realized she might have sounded a little too eager. She wasn't sure which she was more excited for: more time with Regina, or actually getting to eat decent food for once.

"I don't do this… well, ever. Don't take that lightly, Miss…." Regina's voice trailed off as she realized she didn't even know her last name. She was reminded of exactly _why_ she didn't do this often. Kicking her bedmate out immediately post-copulation allowed her to avoid this morning after awkwardness.

"Swan," Emma replied.

"Swan? Seriously?"

Emma shrugged, "it's not like I picked it." Emma found her camisole near the door and slipped it on as Regina called down for room service. She then sat on the bed and watched Regina get ready.

Regina donned a navy blue knee length dress, sheer black tights and black high heels. Emma watched in silent awe as Regina applied her make-up perfectly in front of the mirror. It amazed Emma how much effort she put into her appearance, when all she was doing was getting on a plane, and she wondered – not for the first time since they had met the night before – what Regina could possibly see in her.

Emma saw herself as nothing more than a scrawny orphan street kid. She had nothing to offer, and no one wanted her. So why did Regina?

_I kind of like you, Emma_. She heard Regina's words from last night repeat in her mind. _Trust me, that's rare_. She wondered if that were true. Was she really the first person Regina let stay for breakfast the next morning? She found that hard to believe and yet… she was pretty good at telling when people were lying, and she couldn't see any signs of a lie in anything Regina had said to her.

A knock on the door brought Emma back to reality. Regina was just finishing applying her mascara, so Emma jumped up to answer the door. The room service attendant pushed a large cart covered in platters covered in shiny silver dome lids into the room. Emma didn't even attempt to hide her grin.

The server pushed the cart over to the table on the other side of the room, and Regina walked over and casually handed him a tip, but didn't make any attempt to thank him. It appeared to Emma that the tip was just Regina following a certain protocol, more so than actually showing gratitude, but at this point, she didn't really care.

Once the server had left, Regina lifted the silver dome lids from the platters as Emma sat down. Emma felt like she had died and gone to Heaven when she saw the array of food: fruit, eggs, toast, bacon, sausage, and waffles. While Regina filled her plate with mainly fruit, Emma put a little of everything on her own.

"Did you just tell them to send up the whole menu?" Emma asked, munching on bacon.

Regina's mouth gaped for a moment, but she thought better of criticizing Emma's table manners. In truth, she had told them to send up everything, because something told her Emma didn't eat like this often. The way she scarfed down her food like someone was about to steal it only confirmed Regina's suspicion.

When they finished eating, Regina checked her watch, and started piling all the breakfast leftovers onto one platter. "I have to leave soon," she said, "you should take this with you."

"You want me to steal the platter?" Emma asked, surprised. Not that she was any stranger to theft, but she didn't expect that suggestion from this sophisticated woman.

Regina shrugged. "I'm going to be charged for the food anyway. I doubt they'll notice one plate missing, to be completely honest. If they do, they have my card on file. It's fine." Even as she spoke, Regina surprised herself with how concerned she was about whether or not this young woman would have enough to eat.

_What have you done to me, Emma Swan?_

"I'll call you a cab to take you home. Where do you live?"

Panic rose in Emma's throat. She wasn't about to tell this woman she didn't have a place to stay at the moment, and that her intentions the night before had been to find some random guy to take her home, so she could steal some money and leave before the sun came up. Looking at Regina, she was sure she wasn't the type of person who understood doing whatever you had to, just to get by.

So, she lied. "I don't live far from here. I can walk, it's a beautiful morning and I can probably walk home faster than a cab could get here anyway," she said, gathering up the platter of leftover breakfast in her arms.

This was a commercial area, and Regina was sure there weren't any residential spaces for several blocks, but she was already behind schedule so she decided not to question Emma on this one. "Very well, I'll walk you out."

Emma smiled and tagged behind Regina, double checking that the paper she had jotted down their next meeting time was still safely crammed into her pocket. They headed out the back entrance so that none of the staff would see Emma with her platter.

Regina gave Emma a pick peck on the cheek before she left her. "Six weeks, my dear," she smiled.

Emma grinned and nodded. "I won't be late."

Regina stopped and watched Emma as she walked away. She shook her head with a smile as she watched her stop and hand the platter of food to a couple of homeless men sitting in the doorway of some abandoned store.

"What a strange girl," she muttered to herself as she headed toward the car waiting to take her to the airport. _Six weeks,_ she reminded herself. She had never had a reason to want to come to Oregon before.

_What have you done to me, Emma Swan? _She asked herself again, though she knew there was no answer.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry this update took forever. I apparently have too many stories on the go, and writing ADD. I still intend on finishing this, don't worry :) Thanks for your patience.**

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**Chapter Three: December 2****nd****, 2000**

Regina walked into the hotel lobby at precisely 7:30pm, dressed neatly in a short charcoal dress, sheer black tights and tall black stilettos. She was pleasantly surprised to actually discover the young Miss Swan waiting for her. These past six weeks had passed excruciatingly slow for Regina, and she had managed to convince herself in that time that there was no way the blonde would be waiting for her when she returned, but here she was.

Emma looked pretty much the same as she had last time: ripped jeans and a white tank top. Normally that would bother Regina, but on Emma, she kind of liked it. Emma hadn't noticed Regina yet. She was sitting in a wingback chair in the large lobby, playing with something small in her hands. As Regina got closer, she realized it was a bottle cap that she seemed to be nervously fidgeting with.

"You came."

Emma's head snapped up at the sound of Regina's sultry, low voice, and a smile spread across her face. "Of course I did," she replied.

"Have you eaten?" Regina asked. It wasn't usually like her to worry about someone else's welfare, but Emma's scrawny body caused her concern.

Emma shook her head.

"Alright, we'll have dinner first," Regina said with a small smile, holding out her hand to Emma, who dropped the bottle cap on to the floor before eagerly grabbing Regina's hand. Public displays of affection weren't really Regina's thing either, but no one really knew her in Portland, and she just couldn't resist giving Emma a quick, chaste peck on the lips, before leading her towards the hotel restaurant. Emma smiled and blushed as she followed Regina.

The restaurant was fancier than any that Emma had ever been to, and she immediately realized that she probably stuck out like a sore thumb. For her part, Regina didn't seem to care. She was too focused on the blonde sitting in front of her to notice the stares she was getting.

"Order whatever you want," Regina said, handing a menu to Emma. Regina ordered them wine, as Emma stared at the menu. Regina could tell she was uncomfortable.

"I'd go with the lobster," Regina suggested.

Emma scanned down the menu, and her eyes got wide. "That's so expensive," she said, not looking up.

"It's on me," Regina said, with a smile.

When the waiter came around they both ordered the lobster, and Regina tried to make awkward small talk while they waited. Again, she was reminded of why she had always stuck to one-night stands in the past.

"So, how have you been?" she asked, not really sure where to start.

"Um, alright," Emma replied, absently playing with the cloth napkin under her silverware. "I got a job at a diner."

"Oh, and how is that?" Regina asked.

"Well, I don't get to go on any fancy business trips," Emma said, shooting Regina a cheeky grin, "but I get by."

Regina laughed. She liked Emma's innocent sassiness. Talking to her was a breath of fresh air, compared to the monotony of Storybrooke.

When their lobsters arrived, Regina pretended not to notice Emma subtly watching her, for cues on exactly how to eat it.

"I noticed when you left me last time, you gave that food to a homeless person," Regina commented.

Emma blushed. "Yeah, I figured he needed it more than I did."

"That was sweet of you," Regina said, with a small smile. She had a feeling that Emma had known what it was like to go without in life, and it gave her the overwhelming urge to spoil her more.

The rest of dinner was more awkward small talk, and Regina berated herself in her head for thinking this was a good idea. By the time the bill came, she could think of nothing else but getting Emma upstairs and ripping her clothes off.

Which is exactly what she did.

The moment they got in the room, Regina pushed Emma up against the wall, eagerly kissing and biting at her neck, as she undid her jeans and pushed them down. Emma could barely catch her breath as Regina started pulling on her tank top, lifting it up.

"Arms," Regina instructed, as she stepped back. Emma lifted her arms up and let Regina pull the tank top off of her.

"Strip," Regina said, indicating Emma's bra and panties, as she turned to unzip her charcoal dress. Emma laughed slightly, considering she was basically stripped already and they had been in the room less than two minutes. Regina glanced back at her and raised an eyebrow, as she let her own dress fall to the floor.

She turned her back to Emma, willing herself to slow down, as she removed her own undergarments. She didn't like to appear this eager, this needy. Something about Emma was making her lose control.

She turned back to Emma. They were now both naked, and Emma's eyes were drinking her in. She smiled at that, and took Emma by the hand, leading her to the bed. It wasn't the same room as last time, but the layout was identical. This felt like déjà vu, only last time, only Emma had been naked.

"Sit," Regina said, pointing at the bed. Emma sat on the edge, staring at her, waiting for more instructions. Regina remembered how inexperienced she was, like moldable putty in her hands.

"Move back," she said, ushering her to the middle of the queen sized bed. "On your knees."

Emma pulled herself up on to her knees, and then sat back on her heels, waiting. Regina climbed onto the bed behind her, pushing her long blonde hair over her shoulder, leaving her back exposed.

Regina traced kisses up Emma's spine, as she slid her hands around her torso, up over her rib cage, stopping just below her breasts. She kept her hands there for a moment, as Emma breathed in deep with anticipation. Regina worked her kisses up Emma back to the nape of her neck, as she finally moved her hands up, and started making small, soft circles around Emma's nipples with her fingernails. The touch was so light, it made Emma shiver, which in turn made Regina smile against her neck.

Regina moved her hand up to Emma's shoulders, and shifted from behind her, so she could gently push Emma onto her back. Regina climbed on top of her, straddling her hips with her thighs, and leaned down to kiss her on the mouth. Emma started to slide her hands up Regina's arms, but Regina grabbed her wrists and pinned her hands beside her head. She seemed to have stopped with the verbal instructions, and was relying on physical cues now.

Regina started trailing kisses and small, soft bites, down Emma's neck to her chest, and maintained her grip on Emma's wrists as she kissed and sucked on her nipples, moving back and forth from one to the other, until they were both hard.

Regina let go of Emma's wrists, as she moved to position herself between Emma's legs. She sat back on her heels, and pushed her knees and thighs under Emma's legs. Emma slid her hands over her own erect nipples, until Regina grabbed them and placed them on the bed, on either side of Emma's hips.

"Keep your hands there," Regina commanded. Emma wasn't sure why she needed to, but she could tell Regina wanted to have complete control.

Regina moved her hand between Emma's legs, and watched her face as she started rubbing the sweet wetness. Emma gasped as Regina pushed two fingers inside of her, but soon started to grind her hips slowly to match the motion of the circles Regina was making on her clit with her thumb. A low moan escaped Emma's throat as Regina's motions sped up.

When Emma came, it was as intense and satisfying as it had been that night, six weeks ago. Regina smiled as she crawled back on top of Emma, and kissed her mouth again.

"Your turn," Regina whispered, as she rolled off of Emma onto her own back. Emma hesitated for a moment, suddenly unsure of herself, but she swallowed hard and worked up the courage to climb on top of Regina, straddling her the way she had just straddled Emma.

Regina could tell she was nervous as she entwined her fingers into Emma's blond hair, and pulled her head down, forcing their lips to meet again. Emma started to relax, as she moved her lips away from Regina's mouth, and started nipping and sucking her way down her neck, to her clavicle. The movement was met with low throaty moans of appreciation from the older woman, and it urged Emma to continue.

Emma's movements were awkward, as she really only had her limited experience with Regina to draw on. Her experience up until that point had been laying on her back and staring at the ceiling, waiting for the guy on top of her to finish. But this… this was different.

She moved down, Regina's body, taking one of her already hard nipples into her mouth. She leaned back, and moved to touch Regina with her hands – which she had previously been using to hold herself up – but Regina again grabbed her wrists and pulled her hands away. Emma wasn't sure if it was a need for control, or a general dislike for being touched in that way, but in either case, the message was clear.

And Emma knew she wasn't in a position to ask questions, so she continued – with her mouth – down Regina's torso to her pelvis. She moved back, allowing Regina to spread her legs, and went to work, trying to remember and mimic what Regina had done to her with her tongue, the first night in this hotel. Regina reached down and grabbed Emma's hands, holding them tight. Emma wasn't sure if it was meant to be intimate or controlling, but she felt the same relief washing over her as she had the very first time Regina had grabbed her wrists the first night, since she still wasn't sure what she should do with them.

Emma felt her confidence growing with every moan that escaped Regina's lips, and by the time Regina finally came, she wasn't sure which one of them was actually more satisfied.

Regina let go of Emma's hands, and Emma crawled back up beside her, laying her head down to look at Regina with wide eyes.

"Was that… okay?" Emma asked, timidly.

Regina just smiled, and leaned in to kiss her again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

In the morning, Emma woke to the sound of water running. She groaned softly as she strained her eyes against the light of the sun streaming in the large window. She rolled over and the bed was empty. She blinked and sat up, looking across the room, to where she saw Regina, now in a silk black bathrobe, filling the Jacuzzi tub that lay just behind the half wall partition on the other side of the bed.

She pulled the bed sheet up over her chest as she continued to watch Regina add some sort of oil to the running water. Never in her life had she met someone so enchanting as Regina, and she couldn't take her eyes off of her.

For her part, Regina felt herself being watched, and she looked up at Emma. She smiled at the sight of her tousled blonde locks and wide green eyes.

"Care to join me?" Regina asked, as she slipped off the robe and sank down into the tub.

Emma's heart was pounding again, so fast, and so loud she was sure that Regina could hear it from across the room. Emma couldn't see her from behind the partition, so she scrambled up quickly and made her way over.

Regina looked her naked body up and down, causing Emma to blush, before she lifted one hand from the bubbly water and held it up to Emma. Emma took it, and stepped into the tub, where Regina directed her body in between her own legs. Emma slid forward a bit, so the small of her back was at the apex of Regina's thighs, and leaned back so her head rested on Regina's chest, her forehead tipped in against the left side of Regina's neck.

"I don't do things like this," Regina said, as she reached to push Emma's hair away from her face.

"Sorry, my hair's not normally this wild," Emma assured her.

"Sex hair," Regina commented, "I like it."

"You don't do things like this? Like what?" Emma asked.

"Sleep with the same person twice," Regina said, "or let them stay over. Or join me in the bath."

"So why are you doing it now? With me?" Emma asked, her voice timid.

"Well, you owed me. I didn't get off last time, if you recall," Regina reminded her.

"Get off?" Emma laughed, "I wouldn't expect you to talk like that."

"I learned it from young people I met in bars," Regina said.

"Young people," Emma repeated, with a small smile. "It was a felony, by the way."

"Hmm?" Regina asked.

"Last time you said you wanted to know if you were committing a felony. I'm seventeen. You were."

"I know how old you are," Regina replied. How could she forget? "But it's not a felony, it's a misdemeanor. Were you planning on calling the police?"

"No," Emma laughed.

"Good. Then what it is, is a non-issue."

"Why do you want me to know you sleep around?" Emma asked, suddenly confused as to why Regina had alluded to it twice, in one conversation.

"Because I want to make sure you know that that's all this is. Sex. That's it," Regina replied. "Just because it happened twice, doesn't mean it means anything."

"Okay," Emma agreed. How could it mean anything? She hadn't forgotten Regina lived on the other side of the country. "So then why the other stuff? Why do you let me sleep over, and join you in the bath."

"Because I like your body," Regina replied, running hand lightly over one of Emma's breasts, and drawing circles around her nipple with her fingers. Emma bit her lip and inhaled sharply at the touch.

"So does that mean this won't happen again?" she asked, quietly.

"I didn't say that. You've got a hold on me, Miss Swan, that I can't figure out. But I'd like to keep fucking you until I do." Regina's voice was low and raspy, and Emma could feel her pulse racing again.

"But it's just sex," Emma said, to clarify. This was feeling like a whole lot more than_ just_ anything to her right now.

"Mm-hmm," Regina nodded slightly, before leaning forward to kiss Emma again. Her hand moved to Emma's throat, in a non-threatening way, and she held her there as she kissed along her jawline.

Emma moaned as Regina nipped down on her neck, and she closed her eyes as she lifted her hand up to Regina's cheek, gently pushing her closer to her neck.

"Don't," Regina whispered, releasing Emma's throat and using her hand to push Emma's away.

"What?" Emma asked, confused as to what she had done wrong.

"I don't like to be touched like that," Regina said, her voice more timid than Emma was used to.

"Like what?" The question was sincere, as it seemed like Regina didn't like anything that involved Emma's hands on her.

Before Regina could respond, she heard the alarm on her phone going off.

"Up!" she said, motioning for Emma to get out of the tub, "I have another meeting this morning." Regina watched Emma now-glistening wet body as she climbed out of the tub. "There's a bathrobe on the door," Regina pointed out, as she got up herself.

Emma wrapped herself in the soft, white terrycloth robe with the hotel logo on it, and watched as Regina stood, and dried herself off with a towel, before putting her own silk robe back on.

Regina walked over to Emma and grabbed on to the collar of her white robe, pulling her close and kissing her mouth again, pushing her tongue in with a demanding force Emma was starting to get used to from the older woman. Regina moved her hands up to cup Emma's face, and Emma kept her hands to herself.

When Regina finally broke off the kiss, she still held Emma's face in her hands. "What are the chances you have a phone number now?"

"No," Emma admitted.

"Do you have to work today?"

"No," Emma repeated. She decided against telling Regina she had booked the day off from the diner, just in case she had invited her to spend the night again. She assumed these were things that weren't done in in preparation of a casual hook-up.

"Good. My meeting will run until eleven. Be here when I get back. You can order room service, whatever you want, I don't care," Regina said, as she turned to start getting ready to leave.

Emma sat back down on the bed and watched her as she got dressed, and did her hair and make-up. It amazed her how quickly she went from soaking wet in the tub to classy as hell, when Emma herself could barely co-ordinate a matching outfit.

"Don't leave," Regina reminded her, as she planted a kiss on Emma's forehead, before turning and heading out the door.

Emma wasted no time in ordering up breakfast from room service the moment Regina had left the room. It occurred to her how in any other situation, with any other person, she could rob them blind right now and leave without a second thought. Regina had taken her purse, but all the clothes and jewelry she left in the room were worth a small fortune, as far as Emma could tell.

But this was different. Maybe to Regina it was just sex, but it felt like something more to Emma, and it was something that was too important to screw up. So she ate breakfast. And then she waited.

Eleven o'clock came, and she waited.

Noon came and went, and she waited.

By quarter to one, Emma decided to get dressed. She hung the bathrobe back up and collected her clothes from the floor. After she got dressed she made the bed, and sat back down to wait.

By one thirty she wondered if she should leave, or stay and order up more room service. She was in the midst of her mental debate when the door flew open.

She turned and saw Regina, who momentarily looked worried, but grinned when she realized Emma had stayed.

"I'm so glad you're still here," Regina said, as she entered the room with a bag in her hand. "The hot-headed bureaucrats in this city don't seem to understand that some of us have better things to do than sit in a meeting two hours _after_ the scheduled end time."

Regina leaned down and gave Emma a kiss on the lips, that seemed more familiar than sexual, and Emma couldn't help but think she was sending mixed signals all over the place.

"Did you get any… thing… done?" Emma asked, realizing half-way through the sentence that she had no actual idea what went on in a business meeting.

Regina laughed. "Not really. But now I'm so far behind, and I have to catch my flight soon."

"You have to go," Emma nodded, the disappointment in her voice evident.

"Yes, but I got you something," Regina said, handing her the black shopping bag in her hand.

Emma took it and pulled out the small box inside. "A cell phone? Really?"

Regina smiled. "Mm-hmm. It's pay-as-you-go, so you need to buy minutes, but it's fairly cheap. I got you a couple cards," Regina said, handing her about six phone cards.

"Why? I mean, I appreciate it, but really, why?" Emma stammered. She wasn't used to gifts.

"Because next time I'm in Portland, I'd like to be able to get a hold of you," Regina shrugged, "and now I have your number."

Suddenly booking a day off work didn't seem like such an extreme measure for a casual hook-up as it had before.

"Thank you," Emma said, finally smiling. "Really. Thank you."

Regina smiled and kissed her again. "You're welcome. Just make sure you keep minutes on it, okay? I honestly don't know when I'll be back again. But I really have to pack up so I can go, my car's already waiting outside. Do you want me to call you a cab?"

"No, no, it's okay. Remember, I don't live far. Thank you," Emma said, standing.

Regina cupped her face in her hands once more, and planted one final kiss on her mouth. "Ok. I'll try to get back here as soon as I can, okay?"

"Okay," Emma smiled. As she headed out the door, she couldn't help but feel disappointment sinking in her stomach. She had really hoped for more from this day with Regina, or at least a promise of a specific day she might return. She knew she shouldn't let herself get so hung up on this woman, but she couldn't help but feel like she was falling harder than she ever had before, for anyone. Not that that was hard, however, given her admittedly limited experience.

_It's just sex_, she tried to remind herself. But it wasn't even about that. Emma liked the dinner, and the cuddling and the bath. She liked the intimacy. All the things that she was sure weren't supposed to be a part of casual sex.

She looked down at the cell phone box in her hand as she headed up the stairs of her third floor walk-up apartment – this time she was telling the truth about having a place to live, though it wasn't as close as she had lead Regina to believe. It occurred to her then that perhaps she should have gotten Regina's number, but it was too late for that now.

She pushed open the door to her one-room unit. It was tiny, but it didn't matter, she barely owned anything anyway. She had a bed – well, a futon – and a roof over her head, and that was more than she had been used to for the past year, anyway.

Emma pulled the black Nokia phone out of the box and turned it on. The welcome message in black against the green screen simply said "Mwah!", and Emma figured that Regina must have programmed that – there was no way that was the phone's default setting. She clicked on the contacts button, just to see, and sure enough there was one contact listed: Regina.

Emma smiled. She might not know exactly where Regina lived, or when she was coming back, or even her last name, for that matter, but now she at least had her number, and that was enough… for now.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: this chapter is short, and it's kind of a transition to set up the rest of the story. I promise, Emma and Regina's affair is far from over, and this is the only chapter where they won't be together in some way.**

* * *

**Storybrooke**

Back in Storybrooke, the insane notion to call Emma occurred to Regina from time to time, but she always managed to talk herself out of it. She still couldn't figure out why she was so hung up on the young blonde. It made no sense to her. She was not a teenager with a crush, after all . She was the Evil Queen.

It was supposed to be meaningless sex, and yet on her last few trips out of Storybrooke to Boston and New York, Regina went straight back to her hotel room after her last meeting and just got on the plane and flew home the next day.

And she hadn't called Graham in nearly a month.

It wasn't supposed to go this way. Emma was just another girl in a bar, despite her enchanting green eyes and magnetic smile. Just another conquest. Just another notch on Regina's bedpost. Or two notches, as it were. With the distinct possibility of a third. And fourth. And fifth. And however many more it took to get Emma out of her head, and break the blonde's hold on her.

Regina was sure she'd grow bored of her eventually.

"What's so intriguing about Portland?"

Mr. Gold's voice startled her, as she looked up and saw him standing in the doorway, clearly eavesdropping on her phone conversation.

"Nothing. Business," Regina replied, rolling her eyes before looking back down at the papers on her desk.

"I was under the impression you detested flying across the country," Gold commented.

"Is there something you want?" Regina asked, not bothering to hide her annoyance.

"Not at all, I'm just here for the Small Business Association meeting," Gold replied, with a sly smile that made Regina wonder if he knew more than he was letting on.

"Good. Carry on then. I'm busy," she said, with the dismissive wave of her hand.

It was months before she finally got another meeting in Portland, and the meeting wasn't until August - ten months after she had first met Emma. It seemed like an eternity ago, and the meeting seemed even further away.

Regina tried to call Emma a couple times, but she only got dead air on the other end and realized Emma hadn't kept minutes on the phone. Regina tried to tell herself it was ridiculous to think Emma would have waiting this long for her. She should have called sooner. Emma was nearly eighteen now, and a pretty girl. It had been foolish to think she would still be interested.

Still, when she borded the plane to Portland, Regina got those familiar butterflies in her stomach. She decided she would try calling Emma again after her meeting. If she didn't answer, she figured she could look for her in that seedy bar again. Silently, she berated herself for not calling sooner. And for not getting Emma's address. Or the name of the diner she was working at. Mostly, she berated herself for getting so worked up over the young blonde. The world was full of young blondes. Emma wasn't special.

Except for that she was. And Regina knew it.

When her meeting ended, she went back to her hotel room and tried Emma again. To her surprise, this time it actually rang. Regina's heart skipped a beat, and then sunk when she heard an unfamiliar voice through the phone.

"Hola?"

"Hello? I'd like to speak to Emma Swan."

"Este no es Emma," the voice replied._ Well no shit,_ Regina thought to herself.

"Who is this? Why do you have her phone?" Regina demanded.

"No hablo Inglés."

"Un-fucking-believeable," Regina growled as she hung up the phone. She should have known Emma would hock the phone.

Regina was livid. For the life of her, she couldn't figure out why she let Emma get to her this way. This wasn't her. She never cared about anyone but herself. She never let anyone affect her so much. And yet here she was, caring, affected. And she hated it.

_What have you done to me, Emma Swan?_

* * *

**Arizona**

Emma sat on the cot in her bunk in the minimum security prison her boyfriend had landed her in, staring at the wall and idly rubbing her growing belly. Staring, and thinking.

Every day in this place was the same, but today had been a little different. Today she had spoken to a lawyer about putting her baby up for adoption. And today, for the first time in months, she thought about Regina.

When Regina hadn't called within the first few months after their last night together, Emma had decided that perhaps it really had been nothing more than a meaningless hook up to Regina. Maybe she had simplely imagined the subtle clues that perhaps it was something more.

So she hocked the phone. She hadn't really wanted to, but she had been fired from the diner and she needed the money for food. A couple days later, she stole a yellow Bug and met a man named Neal. She fell for him fast and hard. He had been the first person since Regina who had actually seemed genuinely interested in her. And he was there. Emma was still young and naive, and so lost. She thought she might follow him anywhere.

But in the end, here she was, alone and pregnant, serving his prison sentence, and thinking about Regina. She wished she would have thought to write down Regina's number before pawning the phone, but realistically, what would she actually do with it? She couldn't just call her out of the blue from prison, even though a small part of her thought she might actually hop on a plane and fly to Arizona, if she knew Emma was there.

_No she wouldn'_t, Emma thought to herself, _I'll probably never see her again_.

* * *

Regina stormed into Gold's shop. She had been back from Portland for a few weeks now and nothing felt right. She had even broken down and called Graham, though she only thought about Emma the whole time he was with her, until she kicked him out of her bed, post-copulation. Even after he left, she kept thinking about Emma.

_What_ _the hell is wrong with me?_

She knew she needed something to distract herself. She needed to forget about Emma. She needed something to focus on. Something to worry about. Something to love. Someone to live her back. She pushed the thought out of her mind that maybe that could have been Emma. Emma had made her choice when she sold the phone and rendered herself unreachable.

All she wanted was to be happy. That's all she'd ever wanted. She tried to remember when she had been happy in the past. There was Daniel. And Emma. And Owen, the sweet little boy who had come into her life for a short time. A child. That's what she needed.

"I need a child. And I need your help."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

**Tallahassee, Florida. October 22, 2002**

* * *

It was two years after she had first met the young Miss Swan that Regina found herself in Tallahassee. She had been on trips here before, and she was very familiar with the bar scene there. She had, however, given up on her penchant for finding random strangers, after Emma. That girl had gotten to her, and she knew it was ridiculous because she barely knew her. She also knew she couldn't let that happen again. She had her baby son to worry about now. She had decided to continue her loveless affair with Graham, because it was safe. There was no chance of feelings getting involved.

But tonight, in Tallahassee, her thoughts were on the blonde she had become entangled with two years ago. The girl she had let sleep next to her. The girl for whom she bought breakfast _and_ dinner. The girl who made sex feel anything _but_ meaningless. Today was Emma's birthday, Regina remembered, and the anniversary of that first night together, and she didn't want to be alone.

Regina donned a short, tight, strapless black dress. It was simple, and she knew it would get the job done. She tucked her room keycard in her bra – a trick she had learned years ago from another blonde at a bar who kept her ID there – and headed downstairs.

There were two bars on this street, but the one Regina usually frequented when she was here was having some sort of country night, so she decided to give the other one a try. It was a bit of a further walk, but if it meant whomever she brought home wouldn't be wearing plaid flannel, it was worth it.

The place was more of a club than a bar, and the music was pounding. Everyone looked young, but luckily for Regina, the curse had prevented her from aging since 1983, and it wasn't _that_ hard for her to blend in to this crowd. It was packed inside, and there were strobe lights. Momentarily, Regina actually considered the country bar, until she spotted the open patio at the back of the building. She headed up to the bar, and to her surprise they had hard apple cider.

_Must be fate_, she thought to herself as she made her way towards the patio, getting bumped into and stepped on far too many times for her liking. The patio was still fairly crowded, but at least you could actually hear people talking out here.

Regina made a quick cursory scan around the faces on the patio. No one was out there alone, except for her. She was usually good at spotting a potential bedmate fairly quickly, but she didn't see any ideal candidates out here. She sipped on her drink, and wondered if maybe this was a bad idea.

She stood for a few more minutes, until the awkwardness of being the only person out there alone started to get to her. She sighed, and put her now empty cup on the table next to her, before turning to head back inside. As she turned, she slammed hard into someone who was apparently just stepping out onto the patio. Regina took a step back and looked up, ready to take someone's head off for not watching where they were going, until she saw who it was.

"Emma?" Regina gasped. Her hair was longer, and loosely curled, and she was dressed much differently, in a tight shiny red dress, and she had her make-up done, but it was definitely her. Emma was here, in Tallahassee, in the bar that Regina wouldn't have gone to if it weren't for country night at her regular place. Apparently fate had more in mind for her than just hard apple cider.

"Regina," Emma said, her eyes wide.

A taller redhead standing beside her giggle. "This is Regina?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Regina's eyes snapped to the redhead as a wave of humiliation washed over her. She turned back to Emma. "You told your friends about me?" she asked, in an accusatory tone.

"Regina, relax," Emma laughed, clearly well on her way to intoxication. "It's not a big deal. It's not like I expected to see you in Florida, of all places."

"Well, I never expected to see you again, period," Regina said.

Emma watched as Regina's eyes turned dark, and she could see that she was pissed, though Emma wasn't entirely sure why. "Well, wasn't that kind of the point? A meaningless hook-up?" she asked, her voice a little lower as she leaned in closer to Regina.

Regina studied Emma's green eyes for a moment. There was something different there. An innocence lost. Her eyes were harder. She grabbed Emma by the arm and pulled her around the corner, where they could be alone.

"Hey, what the hell?" the redhead called after them.

"It's fine," Emma said, waving for her to leave them alone.

"It's fine?" Regina asked, her hand still gripping Emma's arm. She was still skinny, but not scrawny like she once was. Regina could feel the strength in those arms.

"Isn't it?" Emma asked, giggling from her inebriation.

Regina hesitated for a moment, before moving forward, pressing her lips hard against Emma's, pushing her back against the wall. Within moments, Regina had Emma's hands pinned against the wall, which didn't come as a shock to Emma. It was familiar, even if she hadn't seen Regina in nearly two years. What was different was the aggression. Emma was used to the forcefulness of Regina's kisses, but this felt different. This felt angry.

Emma opened her eyes and glanced to the side. People were staring. She turned her head away, breaking the seal of Regina's lips on her own.

"Regina," she cautioned, but if Regina heard her, she ignored it, as she moved her mouth to Emma's neck.

"Regina!" Emma cried out, more forcefully. Regina continued to ignore her, as she dropped one of Emma's wrists, and put her hand on Emma's hip, slowly working her way down to the hem of Emma's short dress.

The thought crossed Emma's mind that Regina was about to fuck her right there, with everyone watching. "Regina, stop!" Emma cried out, grabbing Regina's wrist with her free hand. The Emma's grip on her wrist was enough to make Regina snap out of it, as her eyes met Emma's again.

"Let go of my hand," Regina said, flatly, dropping Emma's other wrist, which she had still had pinned against the brick wall.

"What the fuck was that?" Emma asked, not letting go of Regina's wrist.

"Let go of me," Regina said again.

This time Emma complied. "Now do you want to tell me what the hell that was?" Emma asked, as she dropped Regina's wrist. She glanced over at the people on the patio again, who all seemed to be quickly losing interest.

Regina didn't respond right away, but rather reached into her bra and pulled out her room keycard.

"Classy," Emma commented, with a smirk, but she was well aware it was an invitation. Emma's red haired friend decided now would be a good time to interject herself into the situation.

"Em, you wanna go back inside and get a drink?" she asked, not taking her eyes of Regina.

"This is a private conversation, dear," Regina cut in. Her voice was cold, the same way she had spoken to the boy who had been hitting on her in the bar in Portland.

"Emma, are you okay?" the redhead asked, turning to look at Emma this time.

"I'm fine. Seriously, I'm okay," Emma assured her. The redhead nodded suspiciously, but walked away anyway.

"Your friend seems overly protective," Regina commented. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was jealous."

"She's not my friend," Emma corrected, "but yeah, she is jealous."

"You slept with her?" Regina asked. Emma just smirked. "Why did you tell her about me?"

"Why is it such a big deal?" Emma asked. "I mean, it's not like I thought I'd see you again, especially not _here_."

"I tried to call you. You pawned that phone I gave you."

Emma looked down and swallowed heavily. "I know. I'm sorry. I needed the money."

"I just assumed you met someone," Regina said, trying to sound disinterested, like it didn't matter.

"Well, I did, but… he's gone," Emma admitted, still looking down.

"He?" Regina asked.

Emma shrugged. "Yeah. But I was stupid and he screwed me over. I should have known better."

"You're not stupid, Emma," Regina said. "What did he do?"

"He let me take the fall for something he did, and I ended up in prison," Emma shrugged again, like it was nothing. She hesitated, wondering if she should mention the baby she had given up, but decided against it. It wasn't the time or place, and she highly doubted Regina even cared.

"Prison," Regina repeated. "That explains these biceps."

Emma laughed as Regina put her hand on her arm again, thankful that the aggression and anger seemed to have faded, as far as she could tell. "Yeah, well, there isn't much to do in there but read and work out," she said, with a shrug.

"And where's this 'he' who screwed you over now?"

"Don't know, don't care."

"I see. And what about the redhead?"

"I met her a couple weeks ago. We just hook up. Meaningless sex, you know the deal."

"Like with me?" Regina asked.

"Nothing like with you," Emma admitted, but decided not to elaborate any further.

Regina processed those words for a moment, wondering if they meant what she thought they meant – that perhaps she had gotten to Emma the same way Emma had gotten to her. She pushed that thought away, telling herself that there were a million things Emma could have possibly meant by that, and she decided not to ask her to clarify. She was done talking.

"So, how bout it, Swan?" Regina asked, holding up the hotel keycard again.

Emma smiled. "Well, it _is_ my birthday."

"I remember. So let's go celebrate."


	7. Chapter 7

**Finally! An update to one of my favourite (and yet sadly most neglected) stories! I promise to try hard to not keep you waiting so long in the future!**

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

It was the same drill as before: Regina no sooner had Emma into the hotel room before she had her up against the wall, arms pinned beside her. While this feeling was familiar when she was with Regina, Emma had taken to being the dominant one in the hook-ups she had initiated since getting out of prison. She decided maybe it was time to test her limits a little with Regina.

She was physically stronger than Regina, and it wasn't hard for her to push away from the wall and swap positions with her, without breaking away from Regina's hungry lips. She didn't pin her arms – she knew better than to try – but rather placed her palms flat on the wall, on the either side of Regina.

Regina reached up for Emma's face, pushing her back. "What are you doing?"

"What?" Emma asked, leaning in to kiss her again.

Regina turned her head away.

"What?" Emma asked again, stepping back this time. She could clearly see something was wrong, but for the life of her, she couldn't tell what.

Regina's eyes met Emma's again, and Emma couldn't help but see pain there. "I don't care what you do with your red-haired tramp, but I will not take a submissive role to you," Regina said, flatly, though the shakiness in her voice betrayed her.

"Regina, that's not… I wasn't…" Emma stammered, holding her hands up in a kind of surrender. Regina grabbed her hands and stepped her backwards, pushing her back up against the opposite wall, and kissing her again.

After a few hungry, breathless moments, Regina broke the kiss again. "This is how I like you," she whispered, her lips barely off of Emma's.

Emma grinned. "I get it. You still wanna be my Mrs. Robinson."

"I don't want to be your anything," Regina insisted, but the way she crashed her lips against Emma's again, suggested otherwise.

Emma replayed the rules of hooking up with Regina in her mind, as Regina starting biting and sucking at her neck and collarbone.

Don't touch, and be submissive. It wasn't a lot, but Emma had to wonder what the hell it was all about. She supposed she could tolerate just about any rule, though, for a night with Regina. She had pushed her out of her mind, forcefully, for so long, but she was now becoming very aware of how much she had actually missed her.

_Stop it, Emma. It's just sex_. She reminded herself, as she felt Regina's hands at the hem of her short dress again. She pulled it up over her hips, and then stopped there, moving her lips back to Emma's mouth as she slid her hand into her black underwear, and started to tease the slick flesh inside.

Emma moaned into Regina's mouth as she realized she had probably been right before: Regina would have fucked her right up against the wall at the bar, with everyone watching, if she hadn't have stopped her. Well, she wasn't _entirely _sure that was actually true, but she wanted to believe it as Regina was fucking her against _this _wall right now.

Regina wasted no time slipping one then two fingers inside Emma, and moving them in and out with quick, concentrated motions. She used her free hand to hold Emma's pelvis against the wall as she started circling her clit with her thumb.

Emma's legs were shaking, as she forgot the rules and gripped Regina's shoulders hard for balance. To her surprise, Regina didn't object, just quickened her motions with her thumb and fingers.

Regina broke away from the kiss and moved her lips near Emma's ear, when she was sure she was right at the edge. "Happy birthday, Miss Swan," she whispered, in her low, throaty voice as Emma came, hard. Emma stifled a scream against Regina's neck, as Regina slowed the rhythm of her fingers, in time with Emma's convulsions, bringing her down slowly.

Emma released Regina's shoulders as Regina pulled her red dressed over her head and pulled her over to the bed, pushing her down on her back. She watched as Regina pulled her own black dress up, and revealed that she wasn't wearing any panties.

"Fuck," Emma whispered, as she realized that meant she hadn't had any on at the bar, either.

Regina smiled as she straddled one of Emma's thighs, leaning forward and grabbing both her wrists, pinning them down on the bed as she began to ride Emma's leg, hard. It was more difficult for her to get off this way, but she had a strong need to maintain control. The redhead at the bar and Emma's attempt at role reversal had agitated her to the point where she felt the need to display her dominance over Emma.

For her part, Emma didn't seem bothered by it, as she gazed up at Regina's intense brown eyes, with her mouth gaping. Regina lunged forward and pushed her mouth onto Emma's as she came, and then fell on top of her, limbs shaking.

She laid there for a moment, still holding Emma's hands down, until she saw her cell phone blinking on the nightstand. "Shit," she whispered, crawling off of Emma to grab it.

"Is something wrong?" Emma asked, as she rolled on to her side and watched Regina dial into her voicemail.

Regina held her hand up to silence her for a moment, and moments later the look of fear washed into a look of relief, and a small smile spread across her lips. "Nothing wrong," she sighed as she put the phone down. "Just my babysitter checking in."

"You have a kid?" Emma asked, propping herself up on her elbow.

"Yes, a son," Regina nodded, but didn't elaborate any further. Emma wanted to ask more – she wanted to _know_ this woman – but she figured that was probably against the rules as well.

"What shall we do now, Miss Swan? I assume you have no curfew?" Regina asked, raising her eyebrow.

"I wouldn't be opposed to another bath," Emma suggested. "One that doesn't have to end so quickly."

Regina smiled and stood up, headed over to the Jacuzzi tub. Until her bath with Emma two years ago, she had never understood why hotels insisted on putting the tub in the middle of the room. Now, she thought it was the most ingenious thing ever.

Emma watched her as she tested the water, and added some oils from her flight back. A mix of peppermint and vanilla filled the air and Emma breathed it in as she continued to watch Regina from the bed.

"Coming, Miss Swan?" Regina asked, as she slipped out of her dress.

"Hopefully in more ways than one," Emma said, silently kicking herself once the words left her mouth. She had gotten used to being crass with the random people she picked up, but she had forgotten how sophisticated Regina was. To her relief, Regina actually laughed.

Emma dropped her bra and underwear on the floor as she crossed the room, and climbed into the tub, settling herself in between Regina's legs.

"You know, this was my favourite thing we ever did," she sighed, leaning back against Regina.

"You like the intimacy," Regina commented, and Emma couldn't help but notice a slight disappointment in her voice, though she couldn't figure out why.

"Why don't you let me touch you?" Emma blurted out, as Regina ran her fingers up and down Emma's shoulders and upper arms.

"You touched me tonight and I didn't stop you," Regina pointed out.

"You let me use you for balance when my legs were giving out. That's not the same," Emma pouted.

"Why do you want to touch me so badly?"

Emma wasn't sure how to answer that. She thought it should be obvious – that's just what people do in situations like this.

"I don't like intimacy the way you do," Regina sighed, when she realized Emma wasn't going to answer.

"But you agree this is intimate?" Emma asked.

"This isn't intimate for me. It's just… safe," Regina said, well aware that it was just going to open up a whole other line of questioning.

"Safe? How?" Emma asked, trying to turn to look at Regina. It wasn't easy from the position she was in, and she wondered if perhaps that was _exactly _how.

"Don't ask me any more questions," Regina said, sliding her hands down to cup Emma's breasts. Her nipples hardened instantly under Regina's touch, and Emma suddenly decided that, in this moment, it didn't matter why Regina did the things she did, and long as she kept doing _this_.

Regina teased Emma's nipples with her fingers, and Emma gasped as she gave them each a pinch. With her left hand, Regina continued to play with Emma's left nipple, as her right hand slid down her body, and between her legs. Emma spread herself wider as Regina's fingers found her clit, rubbing excruciatingly slow, firm circles.

Emma squirmed against her, and gripped the sides of the tub and bit her lip, to resist the urge to grab onto Regina somehow. She grinded her hips in rhythm with Regina's fingers, trying to coax her to speed up, but Regina maintained her pace.

"Please, Regina," Emma whispered, trying to push herself harder against Regina's fingers. Regina kisses her neck as she sped up her motions, and it wasn't long before release came again, and Emma convulsed hard against Regina's wet body.

Emma sighed and rolled her head back onto Regina's shoulder, as she loosened her grip on the sides of the tub.

"Happy birthday," Regina said, again.

"You already said that," Emma reminded her.

"I know, but I missed the last one. That was to make up for it."

Emma smiled, and silently wondered if it would be too much to ask for Regina to find her every year on her birthday.

And every day in between.

Fuck casual sex. Emma wanted more.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Regina brushed stray hairs away from Emma's face, as the blond continued to rest her head on her shoulder. "Please, don't fall asleep in the tub," Regina said, softly.

"I won't, I'm just enjoying this. And it's my birthday, so…" Emma said, with a sly grin.

"It's past midnight. Sorry, but your birthday's over, dear."

Emma pouted. "Does that mean we have to get out of the bath?"

"The water's starting to get cold," Regina pointed out.

"So add more hot," Emma suggested.

"Your skin's getting pruney," Regina said, pulling one of Emma's hands up from the water to show her.

Emma shrugged. "You don't like me touching you, anyway. What difference does it make if my fingers are pruney?"

Regina sighed. "My legs are cramping up."

Emma rolled her eyes. "You're making it really hard for me to relax, you know."

"Good. I don't want you to fall asleep on me."

"If we get out now, can I still stay the night?" Emma asked, hopefully.

"Was that ever the plan?" Regina asked.

"But… you always let me stay the night," Emma said, mild panic filling her voice as she feared Regina might actually kick her out this time. Had she decided that she didn't like her as much as before? Was it because of the red-head? Emma's heart rate was quickening. She didn't want this to end.

"Relax, dear, I'm only teasing," Regina assured her. "Now get up."

Emma breathed a sigh of relief and finally got up and stepped out of the tub. She pulled a big, fluffy white towel around her and started to dry off and she watched Regina step out of the water. She was so graceful and elegant, even doing the most mundane of tasks – like drying off after a bath – and Emma was mesmerized.

"Do you let the people you hook up with spend the night?" Regina asked.

"No," Emma said, shaking her head at how ridiculous it was that they could discuss things like sleeping around as easily as other people might discuss the weather.

"What about your red-head?"

"No, never."

"That's my girl," Regina said, stepping over to give Emma a kiss, before taking her by the hand and leading her back over to the bed. They both crawled under the covers, naked, and Emma laid on her side, facing Regina.

"What is it?" Regina asked, after several long moments of Emma's green eyes studying Regina's intensely.

"Why does my red-head bother you?" Emma asked.

"She doesn't, I just…" Regina let her voice trail off.

"You just what? You just don't like that I sleep with people who are not you?" Emma suggested.

"No. I don't care who you sleep with, so long as you don't end up giving me a disease," Regina said.

Emma scrunched up her nose in disgust. "I won't," she insisted.

"Good. Anyway, it's not that I have an issue with your little red-headed girl, it's that I don't like seeing… well, for lack of a better word, the competition."

Emma laughed. "She's got nothing on you, don't worry."

"She's prettier than I am," Regina said.

"No, she's not."

Regina sighed. She really didn't want to get into this tonight – or ever. "Roll over," she said. Emma complied, and rolled over on to her other side, allowing Regina to move in close and press up against her, snaking her arms around her and holding her close.

"This is pretty intimate for someone who doesn't like intimacy," Emma remarked.

"Please, stop talking, Miss Swan. I'm tired."

Emma sighed. Before long, she could hear Regina's breathing becoming rhythmic, and she knew she was asleep. Emma, however, was wide awake, thinking about how this morning she had expected to go out, get drunk, fuck her red-head, and kick her out. She was well aware of what casual sex meant, and now, in this moment, she realized that either Regina didn't understand, or she did, and she was equally aware that what was happening between them was anything but casual.

She wasn't sure how long she lay awake before sleep overtook her, but the sun seemed to stream in far too early that morning. Emma groaned and rolled over, to find that the bed was empty beside her. She looked over to see Regina up and dressed, applying her make-up in the mirror.

"You have to leave," Emma said. It was a statement, not a question, though she had hoped she could spend more time with Regina that morning.

"I have to get home to my son," Regina said. "He's just a baby. I don't like to leave him longer than I have to."

"You look good for having a baby. I never would have guessed," Emma commented. Regina looked over and smirked, but chose not to correct her. She didn't feel the need to explain why she'd had to adopt, and it was none of Emma's business, anyway.

For her part, Emma figured she must have looked good for having had a baby not all that long ago, since Regina didn't seem to notice. She was grateful that she managed not to get many stretch marks. The child she'd given up was something she'd prefer to never talk about again, and she was glad there wasn't much evidence left behind.

Emma sat up in bed, pulling the sheet up over her chest. She didn't have an issue with nakedness, but nakedness hardly seemed appropriate when Regina was fully dressed. She grabbed the hotel notepad and a pen, and started writing.

"What are you doing?" Regina asked, as she came back over to the bed and handed Emma her discarded clothing from the night before.

"I have a phone number now," Emma grinned, handing the paper to Regina. "You know… just in case."

Regina bit her bottom lip to try to stop the smile that was spreading across her face as she took the paper from Emma. "Perhaps… if I'm ever in Tallahassee, again."

After Emma got dressed, the routine was the same as always: Regina offered to call her a cab, and Emma politely refused, swearing she lived close. This time, it wasn't for lack of a home, but for embarrassment over _where_ she lived. She wasn't sure how well Regina knew Tallahassee, and she didn't want her to know what a sketchy area she lived in.

When she arrived home, she grabbed her cellphone from where she'd left it, before heading out the night before. There were several missed calls and texts from Stacy – the red-head – and one text from Regina.

_I'm giving you my number again. You know… just in case._

Emma smiled to herself as she saved Regina's number in her phone. She still didn't know her last name, but it still didn't matter. This time, she would be smarter. This time, she wouldn't hock her phone. Or, if she did, she would write down Regina's number. They had already met by chance, twice, but Emma couldn't help but think her luck might run out eventually, and if she lost Regina's number again, she might be screwed.

She sighed as she texted Stacy back to let her know she was still alive.

_How was your night?_ Stacy texted back, quickly.

_Amazing ;) _Emma replied, grinning down at her phone as she replayed the night before over and over in her mind.

_Drinks tonight? I still owe you a birthday present ;) _

Emma stared at her phone. She knew what Stacy meant, but suddenly, she felt that she had lost all interest in this girl.

_Can't tonight. I'll have to take a rain check_, Emma sent back. After she sent it, she realized this was a rain check she had no intention of ever cashing in on. Her night with Regina had reminded her of feelings she had long since forgotten, and now that they were back, she realized Stacy – and every other man and woman along the way – were all just poor substitutes for Regina.

She didn't want stand-ins. She wanted the real thing.

The only problem was, would Regina ever want her?


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"What? Hold on!" Emma yelled into her phone, as she made her way to the patio. Regina was on the other end, and Emma couldn't hear a word she was saying over the music pumping in the club.

"Where are you?" Regina repeated, for the third time. Despite the music and the people talking and laughing all around, Emma could still hear the distinct annoyance in her voice over the line.

"I'm at a bar. Why? Where are you?"

"At my hotel. I thought you were meeting me?"

"I thought that was next week?" Emma lamented, silently kicking herself. It had been seven months since Emma had last seen Regina, and aside from the random drunken texts Emma would send her – which were only answered about thirty percent of the time – they had barely spoken until three weeks ago when Regina had called to say she would be coming back to Tallahassee.

Emma was sure it was next week.

"Really, Miss Swan," Regina said, with an exasperated sigh. "Perhaps another time, dear?"

"No! No, wait for me! I'll come right now, I swear!" Emma cried, the desperation in her voice threatening to betray her.

There was a long pause, and finally Regina said, "fine. You remember which hotel? I'll be downstairs in the bar. I'll give you twenty minutes."

"Shit, okay, I can do that," Emma said, knowing full well it was at least a twenty minute drive, and that didn't even account for the time it would take to get a cab.

It was nearly thirty minutes before Emma was standing at the front entrance of the hotel, trying to regulate her breath as she hoped that Regina was still in the bar, but she mentally prepared herself for the likelihood that she wasn't.

Or, even worse, that she was, and she was beyond pissed right now.

What she saw when she finally stepped into the bar was something she hadn't prepared herself for: Regina was there, sitting at the bar, chatting up a good looking, dark haired man.

_Shit._

Her hand was on his back and she was smiling at something he was saying and Emma felt her heart drop to her stomach, as she stood, gaping, for longer than she probably should have.

She stood and debated what she should do next. Her logical brain told her to get another cab and head back to the club. Unfortunately - or fortunately - for her, any trace of logic seemed to vacate her mind whenever she was in a room with Regina. That, and she was a little bolder for sheer amount of Fireball whiskey she had practically been inhaling since she arrived at the club.

Emma drew in a deep breath and walked over to the bar, only tripping on her heels twice, before sliding onto a stool on the other side of Regina.

"Hi," she said, a little louder than was probably necessary, but her ears were still ringing from the noise at the club. This bar had a much quieter, calmer, ambiance to it, and Emma's loud voice garnered her more than a couple glares. She didn't care. All she cared about was that Regina glanced at her, raising an eyebrow in apparent disinterest, before speaking.

"This is a private conversation, dear," she said, before turning back to the man with the piercing blue eyes.

Emma's confidence almost faltered, but she was determined to get Regina away from this man. She had left a club with a twenty dollar cover after forty-five minutes, only to pay a cab to drive her across town, she wasn't going down without a fight.

"Well," she said, placing a hand dangerously close to Regina's on the top of the bar, without actually touching it, "I thought I might be able to entice you with a more interesting conversation."

Regina rolled her eyes. "Fifteen minutes ago, I might have been interested," she sighed. "I don't like to be kept waiting."

"Do you wanna get out of here?" the man asked, suddenly, as he became aware of what Emma's intentions were and clearly wanted to stake his claim on Regina while he still had a chance.

"More than anything," Regina said, flashing a sideways glance at Emma. If Emma didn't know any better, she'd swear there was a hint of a dare in those dark eyes.

Lucky for her, she didn't know any better.

She jumped up as Regina stood, and the man reached for his wallet to pay their tab. She quickly slipped in between the two, inches from Regina's face, and looked her in the eyes.

"What are you doing?" Regina asked, sounding more than a little annoyed.

"You're not leaving here with anyone but me," Emma said, and before she even had a moment to process what had just come out of her mouth, Regina grabbed the back of her head and closed the distance between them, kissing her hard enough that Emma was sure her lips would be bruised tomorrow.

Regina broke off the kiss, and leaned her lips towards Emma's ear. Emma felt her panic growing as she expected Regina to blow her off in any of a million ways, and leave with this blue-eyed stranger, leaving Emma alone with nothing but the agonizing taste of Regina on her lips.

"I don't submit to you, remember?" Regina whispered into her ear. Emma felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up, and she bit her lip, wondering if there was anything left to say to save this situation. Regina lingered there, daring her to speak.

It was the man who spoke up first. "Should I just go?" he asked, disappointment evident in his voice.

"Yes," Emma said, firmly, and she heard Regina laugh in her ear.

"Perhaps another time, dear," she said, again, only this time, Emma realized her comment was directed at the man. She finally breathed a sigh of relief.

"You won't keep me waiting again, will you?" Regina asked, pulling her head away from Emma's to look at her again.

"No," Emma said, with a relieved laugh. She knew it would be pointless to explain waiting for the cab or the logistics of the drive versus the time limit imposed on her. It didn't matter. She was here and the man was leaving and she had Regina.

"How drunk are you?" Regina asked, suddenly narrowing her eyes in disapproval.

"Hella," Emma said, with a cheeky grin.

"That's a new one," Regina remarked, raising her eyebrow as she ushered Emma to sit down again. Her constant swaying was making her nervous.

"I thought the young people you meet in bars taught you shit like that?" Emma asked, remembering when she had heard Regina used the phrase 'get off', which sounded hilarious coming from that sophisticated, refined mouth.

Regina smiled and shrugged. "I have less time for young people in bars. I have a child now, remember?"

"Oh, right," Emma nodded. "So… are we going to get out of here?"

"I thought you might have liked to wait for the room to stop spinning," Regina laughed.

"No, I'm good. I feel great," Emma grinned.

"I'll bet. Come, then," Regina said, holding out her hand for Emma to take, and leading her out of the bar. She had held Emma's hand that first night, too, and Emma realized Regina's hands were the only place she was allowed to touch her, with her own hands. She suddenly wanted to _feel_ the rest of her olive skin, with her fingers, and wondered if there would ever be a chance.

Emma found herself holding on to Regina's hand more for support though, than intimacy, at this point, as walking in heels grew more and more difficult.

The boarded the elevator with a conservative looking couple that gave Emma a disapproving glare, as she kicked off her heels onto the floor, before bending over to pick them up in one hand, while still holding onto Regina's hand for dear life. She was quite visibly drunk, and she was sure they also didn't approve of her heavy eye make-up or her incredibly short, incredibly tight, black dress.

Regina looked much classier with her form-fitting burgundy dress and black nylons. Emma was sure she looked like a streetwalker by comparison, but she didn't care. Regina had still picked her.

Things took a turn for the worse as they got off the elevator and started down the hall to Regina's hotel room. Suddenly, Emma regretted drinking such a massive amount of alcohol in such a short period of time because the moment Regina had the door open, she was bolting for the bathroom, barely making it in time.

Regina stood in the doorway for a moment, closing her eyes and trying to keep her cool as she listened to the retching coming from the bathroom. Emma hadn't even bothered to shut the door.

"Wonderful," Regina whispered under her breath, as she walked calmly to the bathroom and knelt down beside Emma, holding her hair back until she was done.

Emma reached up to flush the toilet, and then sat back against the bathtub, letting her head roll to the side and rest against the cold porcelain. She couldn't help the tears of embarrassment that started to fall as Regina got up and wet a cloth, before sitting down next to her and wiping her face.

Emma lifted her head and let it rest against Regina's shoulder instead. "I'm sorry," she whispered, between sobs.

"Yes, well, perhaps 'hella' is not the wisest state of drunkenness for you to be in, is it dear?" Regina asked, with a clearly disapproving tone.

"No," Emma agreed, as she lifted her head and struggled to stand.

"Where are you going?"

Emma turned back to Regina, surprised. "I just threw up. Don't you want me to leave?"

Regina stood and put her arm on Emma's back, leading her into the main room. "You are barely able to stand without assistance. You are not going anywhere."

Regina pulled back the duvet on the queen sized bed, before walking back over to Emma and helping her out of her tight dress. She had only a thong, and no bra on underneath, so Regina pulled a t-shirt from her suitcase and handed it to her. Emma pouted a little as she put it on.

"You can stay the night," Regina said, noting the pout on Emma's face, "but you just threw up. Sleeping is all we will be doing tonight."

Emma nodded, and crawled into the bed, and watched Regina as she changed into her nightie – the first time Emma had actually seen her sleepwear, she realized – and turned off the lights, before crawling into the bed next to her.

"Are you mad?" Emma asked, quietly, looking at Regina in the dim light cast in from the street below the large window.

Regina let out a long sigh. "I should be. You ruined my evening," Regina noted, "but then again, you're nineteen, and nineteen year olds do stupid things like drink way more than they can handle."

Emma nodded, and exhaled in relief.

"I am, however, a little upset that you would put yourself in danger like that," Regina continued.

"What do you mean?"

"Emma…" Regina sighed, "the first night I met you, you let me take you back to my hotel within half an hour of meeting me. You were young and naïve back then, and though you might think two and a half years and a prison term have made you wise, trust me, you are just as naïve as you were then. Not everyone share a bed with will be as nice to you as I am."

Emma bit her lip and looked away, but said nothing.

"Something tells me, my dear, that is something you are already well aware of."

"I don't want to talk about it," Emma said, quietly.

"Good, because I'm not in the mood to play therapist. It does, however, worry me, that you would get in a cab, alone, that drunk."

"I won't do it again," Emma promised.

Regina sighed again. "Good. Now go to sleep," Regina instructed. Without further prompting, Emma rolled onto the side so that Regina could move into her regular position as 'big spoon'.

"Do you have to leave tomorrow morning?"

"No," Regina said. "Not until Sunday."

Emma smiled in the darkness as she closed her eyes in the comfort of Regina's embrace. Not until Sunday. It was Friday night. She hoped that meant she would get the chance to make it up to Regina tomorrow night.

She drifted to sleep thinking of all the ways she could do that.

Tomorrow.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

When Emma awoke the next morning, she was alone in the bed. She rolled over, and noted that the room was empty, and for a panicked moment, she wondered if Regina had lied, and she really wasn't there until Sunday. What if she had just said that to get Emma to shut up and go to sleep?

She shot up in bed, and on a cursory glance around the room, she noted that Regina's things were still there, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

She laid back down in the bed, and only then noticed a note laying on Regina's pillow.

_Emma,_

_I have a meeting until 11:30, and then I will pick you up for lunch. Please shower, and I will bring you something to wear._

_Regina_

Emma rolled her eyes at the instructions on the page. As if Regina needed to tell her to shower like a child. But she did like the prospect of going out for lunch. After emptying the contents of her stomach the night before, she was practically starving now. She grabbed the phone and checked the time. It was just after 10.

She jumped out of bed and crossed the room to the bathroom. She stripped off her clothes along the way, dropping the t-shirt and her thong ungracefully onto the floor, before entering the bathroom and hopping into the shower. She surveyed the bottles in there, as the warm water cascaded over her head and shoulders. It wasn't just the complimentary bottles the hotel left, there was Regina's fancy shampoo and conditioner, as well as some expensive looking apple scented body wash.

Emma hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should just use the hotel stuff. But then, she figured, Regina hadn't _said_ not to touch her stuff, and she _did_ leave it there. Emma grabbed the bottle of shampoo and popped the lid open. It smelled deliciously like Regina, and she was sold.

Once she was shampooed and showered, Emma turned off the water and hopped out, wrapping herself in one of the fluffy hotel towels as she quickly ran the blow dryer over her long hair. Regina's fancy shampoo made her hair feel like silk, and she was already grinning like an idiot at her own reflection in the mirror.

When she was done with her hair, she glanced around the bathroom, and didn't notice a hotel bathrobe hanging anywhere in sight. All she spotted was Regina's black silk robe hanging on a hook on the back of the door. She sighed and took off the towel, and wrapped the robe around herself instead. She hugged her arms around herself, feeing the smooth fabric against her skin.

She headed back into the room and grabbed her phone. It was a little past eleven now. She had tried to shower quickly, but drying her hair always took forever. Still, she was done in plenty of time to sit and relax and wait for Regina, so she laid back on the bed, and grabbed the remote, turning on the large flat screen TV.

Somehow, in the midst of everything, she managed to doze off again, and was awoken this time to Regina kissing her forehead. Emma's eyes fluttered open, and she moved to try to kiss Regina on the mouth, but Regina stopped her with a finger over her lips, and held up a new toothbrush, still in the package, instead.

Emma blushed, remembering that she had in fact vomited the night before, and she really did need to brush her teeth.

Regina leaned in to smell Emma's hair for a moment. "You smell so nice," she said, as she handed Emma the toothbrush.

"I smell like you," Emma laughed.

"I know."

Emma shook her head as she got up and headed back to the bathroom.

"There's a bag with clothes in there for you," Regina called after her. Emma nodded and went inside, opening the bag once her mouth was minty fresh again. She wasn't sure what she was expecting when she opened the bag, but the charcoal business-style dress, nylons and black pumps was certainly not it. Emma scrunched up her nose in confusion, but put the clothes on anyway.

She headed back into the room, where Regina was grinning at her. "You look good," she commented.

"Really?" Emma asked. "Why? Because I'm dressed like you?"

Regina laughed. "I may have forgotten to mention that the lunch I'm taking you to is a business meeting. I may have lied and said you were my new intern."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want you to have to sit here all day by yourself," Regina shrugged. "Come on, it will be fun."

"Oh, yeah, sounds like it'll be a blast," Emma said, rolling her eyes.

"The food will be good," Regina promised.

Truthfully, Emma knew she would have gone with her even if it was a meeting with no food, because being with Regina in any sense was better than sitting in the hotel room alone, waiting for her. She smiled as she took Regina's outstretched hand, and followed her out of the room.

"I hope it's okay that I used your shampoo and stuff," Emma said, as they walked the hall to the elevator.

"Oh, of course, dear. I expected you to," Regina nodded. "I wouldn't have left it out if I didn't want you to use it."

Emma smiled. "My hair's never felt this soft," she noted.

Regina leaned in close to her ear as they stepped onto the elevator full of people. "I can't wait to get my hands in it later," she whispered.

Emma blushed, even though there was no way anyone else had heard it.

Once they got out of the hotel, there was a town car waiting to take them to the lunch meeting. Regina let Emma get in first, and then wasted no time crawling on to her lap and straddling her once the door was closed, immediately locking her lips down onto Emma's.

"Is that partition thing sound proof?" Emma asked, as she pulled away from Regina for a moment.

"No," Regina shrugged, "but I don't live here and neither of us will likely ever see this driver after today, so who cares?"

That was all the convincing Emma needed to melt right back into Regina's mouth. All the desperation and longing of their seven month separation found its way into the kiss as their tongues battled each other for domination. Regina cupped her hand on Emma's face, and surprisingly, she didn't object when Emma's hands found their way to her hips.

Emma held onto her more lightly than she would have liked to, but considering Regina had yet to push her hands away, she considered it a victory nonetheless.

The car ride was shorter than either of them would have liked, and before they realized it, the car was stopping, and Regina was sliding off Emma's lap and onto the seat beside her, as the driver stepped over to open the door for them. Regina straightened her silver-grey dress and climbed out of the car first. Emma followed quickly, and was a little disappointed when Regina didn't reach for her hand right away, but rather reached for her briefcase.

_Right. Business meeting._

Regina led Emma into a tall building with floor to ceiling windows. Regina picked up her name badge from the receptionist, and Emma quickly read it. _Regina Mills_. Well, at least now Emma knew her last name.

Regina picked up a second badge that said _Guest,_ and fastened it to Emma's dress for her. "I didn't give them enough time to make one for you," she explained.

Emma shrugged. "That's okay." She looked around nervously at all the people around her, and then leaned in closer to Regina. "So, um, what do I do? I don't really know what an intern does…"

Regina smiled. "You don't have to say anything, just shake hands and smile. I promise it will be fine," Regina insisted.

Emma followed Regina to a large board room, where there were already several men in business suits making idle conversation. One man came over to Regina quickly – a little too quickly for Emma's liking – and reached out to shake her hand.

"Mayor Mills, it's a pleasure to see you again," he said, grinning an overly toothy grin at her.

"Mayor Danbrooke," Regina nodded, "this is my new intern, Emma Swan. Emma, this is Samuel Danbrooke."

Emma nodded nervously and shook his hand. She was so far out of her element at the moment.

She followed Regina as he made the rounds, introducing her to all the men in the room. None of them seemed as overly interested in Regina as Samuel Danbrooke had, and Emma made a mental note to keep a close eye on him.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, they were seated around the large table, and someone came in to take their lunch orders. Regina slid her chair in nice and close to Emma's, under the pretense that they would be looking at the same notes, but it wasn't long into the boring meeting that Emma noticed Regina's foot trailing across the back of her leg.

Emma blushed and lowered her eyes to the papers in front of her, avoiding the gaze of the men around her, as Regina starting making slow circles on Emma's calf with her stocking-clad toe. It was only then that Emma was completely aware that Regina had slipped her shoe off entirely.

Emma peeked at her out of the side of her eye, but Regina's attention seemed to be focused on the paper in front of her, as the nodded along to whatever some man across the table was saying. It was as if she wasn't even aware of what her foot was doing.

Emma made a cursory glance around the table to see that no one seemed to be paying any attention to her or Regina whatsoever, except for that damn Samuel Danbrooke, who seemed to be undressing Regina with his eyes.

Emma wanted to punch him.

Her thoughts were quickly distracted as a server came in with their lunch orders. Regina removed her foot and slipped it back into her black pump as the server brought them wine.

"Holy shit, they give you all this for free?" Emma whispered, earning her a curious look from the men in her direct earshot.

Regina just smiled. "Yes, dear," she whispered back, before looking up at the man directly across from them. "Sorry, she's _very_ new."

Emma blushed and looked down again, embarrassed, trying to remind herself that she was among business professionals and not at a bar or a sketchy diner someplace.

Emma remained silent through the rest of lunch – which was some sort of fancy salad and chicken with a dressing she'd never tasted before, but tasted more expensive than anything she could ever dream of being able to afford – and throughout the rest of the meeting. She was a little disappointed that Regina's foot never returned to the back of her calf, and she hoped that she hadn't pissed her off or embarrassed her with her comment about the free food.

After the meeting, Emma and Regina headed silently down the hallway, and Emma couldn't really read the expression on Regina's face. Her anxiety rose with every step they took in silence, even as they stepped into an empty elevator together.

Moments into the ride, when they were between floors, Regina hit the emergency stop without warning, and turned to press her lips against Emma's, effectively pushing her right back up against the wall.

Emma let out a surprise yelping sound into Regina's mouth, making the brunette laugh against her lips. "I thought you might like some excitement after that boring meeting," Regina said, as she broke away for a moment.

Emma smiled. "Won't they question why the elevator stopped."

Regina shrugged, and pressed her lips against Emma's again. Within moments, her hands were sliding up Emma's body and found her breasts, squeezing them playfully.

But the moment was cut short by a voice coming through the intercom on the elevator, asking if everything was alright. Regina rolled her eyes and replied that it was, and hit the button to start the elevator again, looking thoroughly annoyed.

Regina took back Emma's name badge and handed it in with her own to the receptionist before they continued back out of the building, where the car was waiting. They climbed in, and Regina turned to Emma.

"I have one more meeting to get to. It's much longer and far less interesting, if that's even possible. You can come with me if you want, or the driver can take you back to the hotel," Regina offered.

"I'd rather stay with you, if that's alright," Emma said. "Especially if that Samuel Danbrooke is there making eyes at you."

Regina smiled. "Fine by me," she said, lacing her fingers through Emma's as they rode to the next meeting. "And don't worry about Sam, it's just a harmless crush. It's never gone beyond that, I promise."

Emma smiled as she squeezed Regina's hand. She secretly wished that Regina would straddle her lap again, but she supposed that hand holding was alright for now. Any sort of closeness was welcome from this woman she was becoming more and more infatuated with by the minute.

She tried to remind herself that Regina was going home tomorrow, and she didn't know when, if ever, she would see her again, but in the moment, it was hard to accept that was the reality of the situation.

Emma tried to distract herself from thoughts of the fact that Regina would be leaving tomorrow by remembering that they had all night tonight, and that Emma wasn't going to ruin another night between the two of them.

Tonight was going to count, she would make sure of that.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: So I feel the need to warn everyone, I've been reading a fair bit of Swan Queen BDSM lately (Punished, The Collar, Thank God It's BDSM Friday and Shadow Haven, just to name a few) and it may show through in the next chapters ;)**

**Also, I'm making a plan to update this fic every single Wednesday until it's done. It's my most neglected fic, since I somehow keep forgetting about it, and I'm trying to rectify that, so expect weekly updates (and seriously, HOLD ME TO IT!) don't let me slack on this story anymore!**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

As it turned out, Regina seemed to have similar thoughts about making the night count.

After an overly long, and overly boring meeting - that Emma had really _really_ wished she'd skipped and spent the afternoon watching soap operas back at Regina's hotel room instead - Regina had taken her out for a nice dinner, though neither of them could think of anything else but getting back to the hotel room.

And now, here they were.

The door was barely even shut before Regina had Emma up against the wall, kissing her sloppily and smearing her lipstick around Emma's lips.

After a few moments, Regina took a step back, and looked at Emma with an odd mix of lust and admiration in her eyes. "Strip," she said, as she stepped further into the room.

Emma wasted no time kicking off her shoes and unzipping the zipper that ran down the length of the side off the dress. She thought better of tossing the dress on the floor, as she would her own clothes, and placed it neatly on the chair instead, assuming it must be expensive. She glanced up at Regina, who still had her back to her, and had done nothing more than kick off her own heels, and was now standing, rubbing her neck.

"These meetings get me so worked up," Regina commented, still not turning to look at Emma, who was fervently sliding off her nylons and panties.

"Really? Because they seem boring as fuck to me. I almost fell asleep," Emma said.

Regina chuckled, and turned to her, taking a moment to take in the toned, naked, form before her. Emma's body never ceased to astound her, which was impressive in its own right, since Regina knew she bored easily and never liked the same thing twice.

"I meant that sitting there in the boy's club, watching male egos fight for dominance, it gets me worked up. I don't like to be submissive, you know."

"You don't say," Emma smirked.

Regina turned back around and stepped over to the floor length windows overlooking the busy street of the business district below. Emma gaped for a moment, unsure of exactly what was going on. This woman was unpredictable at the best of times, and standing naked in the middle of the hotel room, Emma wasn't in the mood for guessing games.

"So, um, are you gonna take your clothes off, or what?" Emma asked, earning her a small chuckle from Regina.

Regina glanced back over her shoulder, with a challenging look in her eye. "You want me naked? Undress me then."

Emma took a step forward, and stopped, looking past Regina at the building that faced the window she was standing in front of. "Uh, right there? In front of a giant window?" she asked.

"They're tinted from the outside, darling," Regina said, shaking her head. Emma hoped that was true as she took her place behind Regina and took a hold of the zipper on the back of her dress, pulling it down slowly.

"Look at those people down there," Regina sighed, as she continued to observe the people on the street below.

Emma glanced over Regina's shoulder at the masses of people making their way down the sidewalks below as she slid Regina's dress off her shoulders and let it fall to the floor.

"They're just going about their days, running from one place to the next, eating fast food in their cars while their spouses and children wait at home for them. They must hate their lives, Emma. They're just drones, and they're completely oblivious to the utter debauchery that goes on behind the closed doors of people like us."

"People like us?" Emma repeated, as she leaned forward to pepper Regina's neck and shoulders with kisses.

"People who are not bound by the social etiquettes and mores surrounding casual sex," Regina explained. Emma felt a surge of arousal shoot straight to her core at the word as she continued her tail of kisses over Regina's shoulder blades. She placed her hands on Regina's shoulders, without thinking, and within a moment, Regina grabbed both of Emma's hands in her own.

Regina let the kisses continue only a few more moments before she let go of Emma's hands and stepped away from her, turning to face her again. She was still in her black lace bra and panties, and Emma noticed for the first time that her black stockings were held up by garters. She swallowed hard as she stared at Regina.

"Is this what you call naked, dear?" Regina asked, raising an eyebrow. Emma stepped forward to continue to remove Regina's undergarments, but Regina stepped back again, throwing her a playful smirk. "Uh-uh, time's up, dear. Get on the bed."

Emma hesitated for a moment, earning her another smirk from Regina.

"On your back, middle of the bed, hurry up," Regina said. Emma was suddenly becoming well aware by what Regina meant by 'worked up'. She didn't like to be submissive, so she was going to show Emma her dominant side - well, her _more_ dominant side, since Emma was pretty sure there wasn't a side of her that _wasn't _dominant.

But it had been seven months, and Emma had spent nearly twenty-four hours with Regina doing nothing more than cuddling and kissing, so she was pretty sure she'd be game for whatever Regina had in mind at the moment.

And she was pretty sure Regina knew that, too.

Within seconds, Emma was on the bed, on her back, staring up at the ceiling. She could hear Regina rifling through a suitcase, looking for something, and she badly wanted to peek and see what it was, but at the same time, she wanted to keep it a surprise, so she kept her eyes trained on the ceiling.

Minutes later, Emma felt the dip in the bed, and in an instant, Regina was straddling her hips. She was still in her black bra and panties, and somehow, Emma found it incredibly hot to have Regina partially dressed on top of her, while she was completely naked. Regina dropped something beside her on the bed, and then leaned down, placing her hands beside Emma's head, so she was on all fours, staring down into green eyes dark with lust.

"Do you trust me, Emma?"

The question throw Emma off, as she wasn't expecting it. "I, uh, I barely know you."

"That's not what I asked."

"Yeah, I think I trust you," Emma stammered. "I trust you."

"Good girl," Regina grinned. The words sent a chill down Emma's spine, and another surge of arousal to her core.

"God, Regina… fuck me," Emma whispered.

"I want to talk, first."

"You want to talk?" Emma asked, her voice almost pained.

"Yes, dear," Regina said, rolling onto her side so she was facing Emma, and looping one bent leg around Emma's. She propped her head up in her left hand, while she traced the features of Emma's face with the fingers of her right hand.

"What you do want to talk about?"

"Let's start with a history lesson, shall we?" Regina asked, her voice playfully teasing. "When I first met you, you were a naive little girl, and I opened a whole new world for you, didn't I?"

Emma bit her lip and nodded. She wasn't sure exactly where Regina was going with this, but she wanted her to hurry the hell up and _get there_.

"And you changed after that."

"I didn't change," Emma said, defensively.

"You did. It's not a bad thing, Emma. You became more like me," Regina continued. "Maybe that's why I still find you so intriguing."

Emma snorted. "You like to fuck me because I remind you of yourself? How narcissistic."

Regina just shrugged. "I opened a new world for you," she repeated. "But there's still _so_ much more I can introduce you to, if you're willing."

Emma blinked at her for a moment. "Like… what?"

"Have you ever tried bondage?"

Emma gasped, eliciting another chuckle from Regina. "You want to tie me up?"

"Just a little," Regina shrugged. "Just your hands, because you can't seem to keep them off of me today anyway. You know I don't like to be touched."

"What if I don't like to be tied up?"

"Do you not like it?"

Emma shrugged. "Wouldn't know. Never tried it," she admitted.

Regina reached over Emma and retrieved a black silk scarf from the bed where she'd dropped it. "Well, my dear, there's a first time for everything."

"What do I do?" Emma asked, suddenly feeling as unsure as she had that very first night when Regina had brought her to her hotel room after meeting her in the bar.

"Just relax, and put your hands above your head, I'll do the rest." Emma did as she was told, and Regina climbed over her again, straddling her hips and making quick work of tying both her wrists to the headboard with the soft scarf.

"How does that feel?" she asked when she was done.

Emma tugged at her bonds lightly. "Alright," she said. "Doesn't hurt."

"Good, it's not supposed to hurt."

"So, um, do I need like a safe word or something?" Emma asked. She didn't know much about bondage other than what she'd read in some x-rated books, but that seemed like standard practice.

Regina just laughed. "No, dear. I'm not planning on chaining you up and whipping you. If you don't like it or you want to stop, just tell me and I'll stop."

"You swear you don't have chains and whips with you?" Emma asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well not _with _me," Regina smirked, and then laughed at Emma's shocked expression. "I'm kidding! I'm not a dominatrix, I just like to have a little fun. Now, just one more thing." Regina reached behind her and picked up another black silk scarf. "Blindfold?"

"Are you asking me?"

"I'm asking if you're okay with it," Regina clarified.

"Yeah, uh… yeah, do it," Emma grinned, becoming more excited at the prospect of being at Regina's mercy, without her sight or the use of her hands.

Regina smiled, and leaned forward again to fasten the scarf around Emma's head. "Remember, if you want to stop, tell me, okay?"

"Yeah, got it," Emma said, inhaling deeply as the room became a giant black void. She could still feel Regina's weight on her hips, and she felt her lean down further, so her lips were next to Emma's ear.

"Wanna hear a secret?" Regina whispered.

Emma swallowed thickly. "Uh, sure."

"I did tell you next week."

"What?" Emma asked, confused.

"I told you I would be here next week, not this week."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to see if you would drop everything and come running the moment I called you. I had a suspicion, and it turned out, I was right," Regina chuckled, clearly quite proud of her deception. "Then I gave you an impossible time limit to get here to ensure you'd find me in a compromising situation. I wanted to see what you would do."

"It was a game?"

"Well, don't sound so offended, dear, since it would appear that you won. Or, you're about to, anyway."

With that, Regina shifted, and slid a hand down Emma's toned stomach, until she reached her hot core. "God, you're so wet," Regina murmured, as her fingers got to work, rubbing circles over Emma's swollen clit.

Emma sucked in a breath when she realized just how turned on a little bondage had gotten her. She gripped hard onto the scarf binding her wrists and Regina sped up her movements. Without her sight, she could do nothing but get lost in the sensation, combined with Regina's scent, and the taste of her mouth when her lips crashed down on Emma's, and the sound of her breathing as her breaths became shallow.

And that was all it took to send Emma over the edge. She gasped and cried out as she came, and heard an approving chuckled from deep in Regina's throat.

"Looks like you like bondage, after all," Regina commented, as she pushed the blindfold back from Emma's eyes. "Who knew?"

"I think you knew," Emma breathed, a small smile creeping over her lips. Regina had known she'd drop everything and run to her, and she'd known that she'd stop at nothing to make sure she was the one to leave the bar with her that night… was it such a stretch that Regina could guess what she'd be into before she, herself, even knew?

Maybe Regina was right. Maybe she was becoming like her.

And maybe she was okay with that.

"Now, my dear, we have a dilemma," Regina said, her face growing serious.

"What dilemma?"

"Well, now it's my turn, and I just don't know how you plan on getting me off in your current position," Regina mused. "Any ideas?"

* * *

**To be continued… next week, Emma comes up with an idea, in her current position ;) The fun has just begun for our lovely ladies... Emma's got to make this night count, but lucky for her, the sun hasn't even set yet ;)**

**From now on, now that I have a schedule established, I'm going to start making the chapters for this story longer…. Longer chapters AND weekly updates… look how spoiled you are!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: So, as some of you may know, this is my oldest story on here. I started it in March, and I think (or I'd like to think!) that I've improved as a writer since I first started it. As such, I've been going back and revising earlier chapters. The story remains the same, I've just fleshed it out a bit, and made it smoother. I know I said I would make the chapters longer, but this chapter is about the same as the last one, since I spend some time revamping earlier ones and I wanted to make sure I had a chapter for you this week too!**

**Chapter one and two have been updated, if anyone is interested, but not reading the revised version won't affect the story over all, since the plot remains the same :)**

**Anyway, on to chapter twelve! Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

* * *

_"I just don't know how you plan on getting me off in your current position... any ideas?"_

"Well, you could untie me?" Emma suggested with a cheeky grin, fully aware that was probably not an option Regina was considering.

"Hmm..." Regina smirked, leaning back in her spot on Emma's hips. "I _could_... but I don't want to. Try again."

"Well, without my hands... all I have is my mouth," said, biting her bottom lip.

"Good point," Regina agreed, rocking on Emma's hips. "But there's a problem: I'm all the way back here and no where near those exquisite lips of yours."

"So, come up here then," Emma said, licking her lips deliberately.

Regina smirked. "Make me."

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"Figure it out," Regina said, that playfully challenging look back in her eyes.

Emma sighed, staring up at Regina as she stared back at her, trying to figure out exactly how she was supposed to pull this off. She attempted to lift her hips and forced Regina's body closer to her face, but that quickly proved much more difficult than she'd expected, as Regina was purposely holding her position with her knees on the mattress on either side of Emma's hips.

Regina smirked again, and it was so damn sexy.

_Sexy._

Suddenly Emma was aware of what she _could_ use, when she could use her hands: her sex appeal.

She bit on her bottom lip again, and dropped her head back onto the pillow, closing her eyes and letting her arms go limp in their bonds, as she let out a long sigh.

Regina watched with interest to see where Emma planned to go from here. Moments later, she felt Emma's hips start to rock rhythmically underneath her. With her head still back and her eyes still closed, Emma gripped the silk scarf ties hard and arched her back, pushing her hips hard into Regina's, and letting out a low moan deep in her throat.

Emma rocked her hips harder, and let her back fall back onto the mattress. She parted her lips slightly, and wet them slowly with her tongue, before opening her eyes again, and meeting the dark, hooded gaze of Regina's eyes, which were nearly nearly black with lust.

Regina's mouth was partly open, and Emma was well-aware that her breathing rate was picking up, which made her smirk. It was working, and she knew it.

It was working.

For her part, it was all Regina could do to resist pouncing on Emma again, as she watched her tongue peek out again and re-wet those perfect lips, making sure all of Regina's attention was on her mouth and her thoughts were on what she planned to do with it. Emma's half open eyes and the lipstick still smeared around her lips only added to the heat forming between Regina's thighs now.

"Fuck," Emma breathed, closing her eyes again, and jutting her hips up hard against Regina's body. Regina let out a gasp as she nearly came undone, and Emma knew it was time.

She opened her eyes again.

"Take off your panties," Emma instructed.

Regina raised an eyebrow. "It's that a request or a demand?"

Emma gave half a shrug, the best she could manage with her hands tied above her head, and rolled her eyes away from Regina, as if she'd suddenly lost interest. "Do what you want, I don't care, I already got off."

She emphasized the final word by bending one of her knees and bringing her leg up fast behind Regina's ass, forcing the brunette to fall forward on top of her. Regina caught herself with her hand on either side of Emma's arms, and smirked when her lips came to a stop barely inches from Emma's.

"Well played," she mused. Emma had pulled that off quicker than she'd expected.

"Take off your panties," Emma instructed again, with the same lack of inflection in her voice as the first time she'd said it, trying to act like Regina's body pressed up against hers wasn't incredibly arousing. She was catching on to this game pretty quickly, and she knew being tied up had her at a disadvantage, and she wasn't about to give up any more ground.

And this time, Regina did what she was told.

She hopped off of Emma quickly, and Emma watched out of the corner of her eye as Regina removed her stockings, garter and panties, quicker than Emma would have liked.

"Now what?" Regina asked, standing and smirking down at Emma.

"Take off your bra," Emma sighed, rolling her head away from Regina, so she wouldn't know Emma was dying to see her fully naked again.

"Bossy, bossy," Regina tsked, but Emma still didn't look at her. "Now what?"

Emma gave another half shrug. She was pretty sure telling Regina to sit on her face wasn't going to do the trick, no matter how much she knew the other woman wanted it. She had to up her game. "Do whatever you want. I'm tired, I think I might take a nap," Emma said, trying to hide her smile with a forced yawn.

"Wrong answer, dear," Regina said, and Emma felt the bed dip again, this time much closer to her head. She looked up to meet Regina's gaze with an amused smirk, which quickly turned into a grin as Regina straddled her on either side of her arms, her wet folds hovering inches from Emma's lips.

"Looks like you won this game, too. Time to claim your prize, dear," Regina said, as she lowered herself onto Emma's mouth.

Emma moaned into Regina's core as her tongue went to work, lapping up and down the length of her slit and circling around her entrance. Regina hummed in approval above her, and Emma looked up to see that the brunette was gripping the headboard hard with both hands. Her eyes were closed and she was biting down on her plump bottom lip.

Emma sucked Regina's swollen clit between her lips, and flicked it and circled it with her tongue. She'd never had someone literally sit on her face before, but she found she quite liked the view above her as she quickened her motions on Regina's clit, eliciting a long, low moan as Regina came against her mouth.

"Fuck," she heard Regina breathe from above her, and she knew she'd impressed the other woman. Emma hadn't had all that many opportunities to show Regina how much she had learned in the art of cunnilingus, and she couldn't help but smile against Regina's hot core as the brunette came down from her orgasm.

After a few moments of recovery, Regina shuffled back, and ran her tongue over her top teeth as a smile spread across her lips, as she took in the sight of Emma now, her mouth glistening from Regina's cum mixed with smeared red lipstick.

"You're so fucking beautiful," Regina whispered, causing Emma to flush beet red. Regina chuckled. "Really? After everything we've done and everything we just did, a compliment embarrasses you?"

"Are you gonna untie me now?" Emma asked, deflecting from the question. She didn't want to admit that she'd been fucked more times in her life than she'd been complimented, and that the only person other than Regina to ever compliment her had been Neal, and that had ended disastrously for her.

"Why? What on earth could you possibly need your hands for?" Regina asked, as she climbed off of Emma and laid herself out beside her, rolling onto her side again to face her.

"Are you ever going to let me touch you?" Emma blurted out, before she could stop herself.

"You know I don't like that."

"You should know I'm never going to stop asking. Don't you trust me?"

Regina sighed as she reached over to untie the scarf around Emma's wrists. She was fairly certain being tied up wasn't really bothering her, but she didn't want to leave her feeling vulnerable too long, especially as it was Emma's first experience with bondage, and she didn't want to ruin it for her.

"It's not an issue of trust, Emma, I just don't like it," Regina said, simply. "Now, what's your second choice? We have the rest of the evening, you know."

"If I say share a bath, am I being redundant?" Emma asked, hoping that Regina wasn't getting bored of bathing with her, as it really was her favourite time that they spent together, whether Regina agreed it was intimate or not.

"A sexy bath? Or do you want to talk?"

"Uh… a bath where we talk about sex?" Emma suggested.

"You read my mind," Regina smiled, as she slid off the bed and headed to the bathroom. "I like the hotels with the tub in the middle of the room better, don't you?"

Emma shrugged. A bath was a bath and as long as she was in the tub with Regina, she couldn't care less where the tub was located.

She got up and followed Regina into the bathroom, where she already had the water filling the tub, and she was adding some essential oils. Regina set her phone on the edge of the tub, and got in, motioning for Emma to join her.

"Expecting a call?" Emma asked, raising an eyebrow at Regina's phone sitting there.

Regina smirked. "Why? Does that make you jealous? Think one of my other suitors might call?" she teased

Emma crossed her arms and pouted, trying to look as defiant as possible, despite her nudity.

Regina couldn't help but laugh. "Jealousy doesn't suit you, dear. I need my phone on hand because I have a _child_, remember? Now are you done pouting, or do I have to enjoy this bath alone?"

Emma sighed and got in, nuzzling herself into her favourite position, between Regina's legs, laying up against her, her head comfortably resting on Regina's shoulder. Regina lifted up Emma's hands, examining her wrists for any marks left behind from being tied up. When she was satisfied that there were none, she wrapped her arms around Emma's stomach, holding her tightly against herself.

"Tell me, dear, did you like that?"

Emma blushed, and she didn't have to look back to know that Regina was smirking behind her. "Surprisingly, yes," Emma admitted. "I never would have thought that being tied up could be so… hot."

Regina chuckled behind her. "Didn't I tell you I could teach you new things? Now, tell me, what else would you like to learn?"

"Everything!" Emma answered, immediately, even though she had no idea what that might actually entail.

"Always so eager," Regina noted. "But, my dear, we need to have a serious conversation right now."

"I thought that's what we were doing?"

Regina frowned, trying to decide how to word what she was going to say next. She'd never needed to have a conversation like this, but it was becoming abundantly clear that with Emma, it would be necessary. "Emma," she sighed, determined to keep her resolve. "How much longer do you want to do this?"

Emma half turned her head, to look at Regina in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I _mean_… you're almost twenty years old now. You're not the same naive girl I met in Portland. How much longer before you want something more than this?"

"I… I know it's just sex. I get it. Seriously," Emma insisted. "I know it's not gonna be more."

"I don't mean with me, dear. How long before you decide casual hook ups aren't your thing anymore? Some day you're going to want something long-term. Maybe you'll want to get married, even. Have you thought about that?"

Emma shifted uncomfortably. This wasn't really the type of conversation she'd wanted to have at the moment. "Why do you assume I'm going to want anything different? I mean, no offense, but it seems to be working for you," Emma pointed out.

Regina laughed again. "I'm not you, dear. I've been married. I know that's not what I want. You, however, you're too young to know what you want yet. How long to we let this continue before we cut our loses and walk away?"

"I don't _want_ to cut my loses and walk away. And trust me, there are very few things in my life that I don't want to walk away from."

"That's a problem," Regina sighed.

"I meant it as a compliment."

"I know you did, dear. It's a problem because the very nature of this… relationship… is that it's going to end eventually. You understand that, correct?"

"Yeah, I get it," Emma snapped, harsher than she had meant to. "You've never sugar-coated it, so trust me, if I get hurt in all of this, it's my own fault."

"I don't want you to get hurt, Emma. That's the whole point. I'm not saying I'm never going to call you again. I'm asking you, how much longer will _you _want _me?"_

Emma bit her lip and relaxed back into Regina again. Truthfully, she'd never really considered that she would find someone else who would make her stop wanting to do this. Regina had never sugar-coated it for her, and yet there was still a part of Emma that thought this _could_ be something more. She didn't dare voice that thought, however, knowing that if she did, that would certainly be the last time she saw Regina.

"It depends," Emma said, finally.

"On what?"

"Do you really have chains and whips at home?" Emma smirked.

"No, dear."

"Then we can keep doing this. I'm not even twenty yet. Trust me, I'm nothing thinking of the long term and I'm _certainly_ not thinking about marriage. You still have more to teach me."

"That I do," Regina agreed. "I'm coming back to Tallahassee in eight weeks."

"Actual eight weeks? Or are you going to make me race across town to get to you in seven?"

"Eight weeks, dear. I don't use the same trick twice," Regina assured her.

"Good. So for now, the future doesn't exist any further than eight weeks from now, and I don't want to talk about anything past that."

"Fair enough," Regina agreed, just as her phone started to ring.

Emma glanced at the screen. "Who's Ruby?" she asked, sounding almost panicked.

Regina rolled her eyes and shook her head, but couldn't fight the small smile on her lips. "My babysitter," she said, as she reached for the phone.

Emma leaned back and listened to a one-eneded conversation about everything Regina's son had been doing over the weekend. In a way, she enjoyed seeing - of rather, hearing - a different side of her, but on the other hand, listening to her made Emma's heart twinge. From time to time, she pined for the little boy she'd given up. She wondered if he was happy and healthy and loved.

Listening to Regina now, she could tell how much she loved her child. Emma just hoped that her son had been lucky enough to go to a mother like Regina, though she doubted that she would ever really know.

* * *

**Oh, poor Emma... if only you knew ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

**I hope you guys are ready for the angst, 'cause it's coming real soon...**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen**

* * *

"Good trip, I take it?" Ruby asked, raising an eyebrow as Regina stepped into her home, finally, after a long, turbulent flight.

"What makes you think that?"

"You're grinning like an idiot," Ruby shrugged. Though they never discussed it, Ruby wasn't so naive as to not figure out exactly what Regina did on her trips away.

Regina scowled, as she hated to ever appear transparent. "I'm just happy to be home and see my son. Where is he?"

"I put him down for a nap about twenty minutes ago. I didn't expect you back so soon," Ruby shrugged.

"I caught an earlier flight," Regina said, finally dropping her bags in the hallway and walking over to pour herself a drink.

"Oh, so things didn't go as well as I thought," Ruby said, following her.

"Miss Lucas, I don't know what you are referring to."

Truthfully, the issue wasn't that things didn't go well, it was that things were going _too_ well. As much as she hated to admit it, she _liked_ Emma, and she feared that even a few more hours with her, and she would have been buying her a plane ticket and bringing her home to Storybrooke.

And that just couldn't happen.

If it weren't enough that Regina never wanted to find herself tied down to one person, willingly or not, she knew she couldn't bring Emma to Storybrooke for the simple fact that she would realize something was wrong. How long before Emma realized that time didn't move here?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Henry crying. She turned to Ruby before going to get her son. "Thanks for everything, Miss Lucas. I've got it from here."

Ruby let herself out as Regina headed up to Henry's room, and lifted the toddler from his bed. Henry's little face lit up as soon as he saw her. "Hello, my prince," Regina cooed, as she carried Henry over to the rocking chair in the corner of the room. "Did you miss Mommy?"

Henry grinned and hugged her tight, as he nestled into her lap. He was asleep again in moments, but Regina was content to sit and rock with him for a while. As she rubbed his back absently, her mind drifted back to Emma again.

As her mind wandered, she wondered what it might be like to come home after a business trip and be greeted by Henry and Emma. Would they pick her up at the airport? She guessed maybe they would. And maybe they'd all go out to dinner. Or perhaps just spend a quiet evening at home, cuddled up in front of the fireplace.

And once Henry was in bed, she and Emma could cuddle and kiss and make love.

Regina shook her head, berating herself silently as she stood to put Henry back down. She and Emma did not 'make love'. They fucked, plain and simple. Regina was not about to let herself develop feelings for this girl.

* * *

It was a week after she'd been home that Regina received a text from Emma. The girl had a bad habit of texting her late at night on weekends, and Regina was sure she could safely assume that Emma was drunk. Regina rarely answered, as she didn't want to encourage this behaviour. Emma needed boundaries.

_Heeyyyy… has it been 8 wks yet? ;)_

Regina stared at the screen for longer than was probably necessary, debating - as always - whether or not to respond.

_It's been one week. If you're bored, call your redhead._

_My redhead has a gf now :( I'm lonely._

_That's unfortunate. How drunk are you? _

_Not at all. I'm not even out. I'm home and sober and bored and lonely._

Regina sighed and looked at the clock. It was past midnight, and Henry was unlikely to wake up now until morning. She grabbed the baby monitor anyway, and headed into her study, where she could shut the door and Henry wouldn't hear her.

Despite her better judgment, she called Emma. And not surprisingly, Emma picked up on the first ring.

"Hey!" came the blonde's breathless voice, clearly surprised.

"What are you wearing?"

Emma laughed out loud. "Wow, that's classy. Uh, underwear and a tank top. If I'd known you were calling I'd have-"

"Take it off," Regina said, cutting Emma off mid-sentence.

"Uh, okay," Emma replied, and Regina could hear a few moments of muffled noises in the background, and she knew Emma was stripping. "Okay, now I'm naked. Are we going to have phone sex or something?"

This time, Regina laughed. "You are. You said you're bored, didn't you?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Go lie on your bed, and put your phone on speaker, next to your ear. You'll need your hands free."

More moments of shuffling, and Regina heard the change in the phone's sound, and she knew she was on speaker.

"Okay, ready," Emma said, eagerly.

"Good girl. Now tell me what you would do to me if I were there right now."

There was a pause, and Regina knew the question had caught Emma off-guard, since it was never Emma doing anything other than what she was told.

"Uh, I'd kiss you."

"How?"

"Hard. Against the wall."

Regina smirked. "I highly doubt that," she mused.

"Ok, I'd be against the wall," Emma conceded, knowing it was true. "And I, uh…"

Regina smiled to herself, loving that even after all this time, Emma sounded so innocent, when Regina knew for a fact she was anything but.

"What would you do to your redhead?"

Emma groaned audible. "I don't want to think about what I'd do to her. I only want to think about what you'd do to me."

"And what would you like me to do to you?"

"Whatever you want…" Emma drawled.

"Hmm… I want to tie you up again, but I guess that will just have to wait."

"What else do you want?"

Regina relaxed into her chair and closed her eyes, envisioning Emma's body in her mind. "I would kiss you, so hard, and then run my tongue down your jaw, and your neck, and your collarbone. I'd run my hands up your body, from your hips to your ribs, and then squeeze those exquisite breasts of yours. Are you doing it?"

"Mm-hmm…"

"I'd pinch your nipples, and maybe bite one, just a little… just enough to hear a whimper…"

And Emma did whimper, and it sent a jolt right to Regina's core.

"I'd keep playing with that one between my fingers, while I slid my other hand down your stomach to your… do you have ice?"

"What?" came Emma's confused gasp.

"Ice. Ice cubes. Do you have any?"

"Uhhh… yeah?"

"Go get some, in a bowl, and come back."

In the minutes that Emma was gone, Regina slid her hand into her own pants, under her panties, and began to massage the wet folds there, to relieve some of the pressure building up in her own core.

"Back!" Emma said, making startling Regina. She only faltered for a moment, and continued to worked her own fingers effortlessly, massaging her clit as she regained control.

"Good. Lie back as you were, keep that ice within reach. What are you doing now?"

Emma giggled through the phone. "Uh, I'm playing with my nipple and waiting to touch my pussy."

Regina cringed. "Don't… use that word. I hate it. Slide your fingers to your _cunt_ and tell me how wet you are."

"Mmmm _so_ wet…"

Regina hummed her approval as she continued to rub circles around her engorged clit. "Go slow… Emma… _feel_ yourself. Close your eyes and slide your fingers inside… two… imagine they're my fingers."

"Fuck…" Emma voice was just a whisper now.

"Keep moving your fingers, slowly, in and out…. get one of those ice cubes… rub it on your nipple…"

"Shit! Regina that's cold!"

Regina chuckled. "It's ice, dear. What did you expect? Don't stop… rub it on both nipples… back and forth… it's starting to feel good, isn't it?"

"Mmm-hmmm…."

"Tell me when it's melted…" Regina closed her eyes and listened to the low moans coming through the phone now.

"It's gone…"

"Pick up another one… rub it on your clit…"

"What? It's _cold_ Regina! You can't be serious!"

"Have you ever known me _not_ to be serious?"

Regina listened to the whimpers on the other end, and she knew Emma was doing as she was told. "How does that feel?"

"Mmm… good… cold…"

"Keep rubbing your clit when the ice is gone… imagine it's me… tell me how good I make you feel…"

"So good… you don't… even… fucking know…" Emma's breath was becoming more and more laboured.

"Are you close?"

"Mmm… yes!"

"Come for me, Emma."

Right on cue, Emma let out a long, low moan, followed by a whispered "fuck….". The word was enough to send Regina over the edge, silently, as she didn't want Emma to know she was just as affected as she was.

"Still bored?" Regina asked, after a few long moments of shared silence.

"No… thank you," Emma breathed into the phone. It was still on speaker, and Regina could tell the blonde was nearly asleep.

"Move that ice off your bed, Emma, before you fall asleep."

"Mmm. Okay…"

Regina wasn't sure if she actually did it, and she supposed that would be Emma's issued to deal with if she suddenly rolled over onto it in the night. She listened as Emma's breathing became steady and rhythmic, and assumed she had, in fact, fallen asleep.

"Good night, Emma," Regina said, quietly, and was about to hang up when she caught Emma's mumbled, sleepy voice on the other end.

"I love you, Regina."

* * *

"Mmmm… what the fuck?" Emma murmured, still half asleep, as she rolled into a large wet puddle on her bed. She blinked her eyes open, and sure enough, the bowl of melted ice had tipped over in the night, and now her bed was soaked.

"Fucking wonderful," she mumbled, scooting away from the wet spot, and grabbing her phone from the pillow. She didn't remember falling asleep, but her call log said the call had been ended at 12:36am. She guessed Regina must have hung up when Emma passed out. The last thing she remembered was Regina telling her to move the ice.

Which she clearly did not.

She debated whether or not she should text Regina again. Usually she opted not to, but since last night had gone so well, she decided it was worth a shot.

_Thx for last night… we should do that again sometime ;)_

Emma tossed the phone back on her nightstand, not expecting a text back any time soon. Regina rarely texted back, but Emma wondered if that would change after last night. She tried not to let herself dwell on the possibility, as she got up and pulled the wet sheets from her bed, and got ready to start her day.

* * *

Regina stared at the text on her screen. She was already awake - or, rather _still_ awake, as she'd not been able to sleep after hanging up on Emma the night before.

She had spent the night chastising herself for letting what was supposed to be a one night stand three years ago evolve to the point of half asleep confessions of love.

Of course, Regina knew Emma didn't love her. How could she? She barely even _knew_ her. After three years, Emma had only even learned Regina's last name a week ago. And Regina was glad she knew nothing about her. Truthfully, she knew nothing more about Emma than how to make her come, and in her mind, that's the way it should be. Her time with Emma had been fun, but she knew she couldn't let it continue, not now. It had already gone way too far.

She called her cell phone provider at 9:00am to have her number changed.

* * *

Weeks went by, and still Emma hadn't heard from Regina. All her texts went unanswered, and she obsessively replayed their last night together - well, separate, but together - over and over in her mind, trying to figure out what had gone wrong.

She tried to convince herself that this was just Regina being Regina, and trying to enforce that this was just sex, and nothing more. Emma guessed she shouldn't have sent the morning after text, as she couldn't think of another thing she'd done wrong.

When it neared eight weeks since Regina had last been in Tallahassee, and she _still_ hadn't heard from her, Emma started to worry.

What if Regina wasn't mad at all? What if something terrible had happened to her? She needed to know.

She called Regina.

Emma's jaw dropped when she heard the voice come through the other end, telling her that the number she had dialed was not in service.

"That fucking bitch!" Emma cried, chucking her phone across the room. Regina had changed her number, Emma was sure. She had been wasting her times sending texts into oblivion because she was texting a number that didn't even exist anymore.

Emma was shaking now, with rage, and betrayal. She hated the hot tears that were working their way down her cheeks now. Why should she even cry? She used to _used_ to this by now. Every single person in her life: her birth parents, every foster parent, Neal… they'd all abandoned her when she needed them. Why should Regina be any different?

She supposed she shouldn't even be upset with Regina. After all, wasn't it Emma who was the common denominator in all of this? Deep down, she knew no one would ever keep her. She was so unlovable as a newborn that her birth mother had tossed her on the side of the highway, so why should she expect different now?

But Regina had felt different. The lack of expectation, the lack of commitment, that had felt _safe _to Emma. She had assumed she couldn't be left, if there was no relationship to leave.

Now she knew, she had been dead wrong.

* * *

Regina had cancelled her trip to Tallahassee, opting to send one of her actual interns instead. Even though she had changed her number, she knew she and Emma had a bad habit of running into each other by accident, and she wasn't about to risk that. It needed to be a clean break. It didn't feel good to hurt Emma, but she knew just telling it was over wouldn't be enough for the girl. She _had_ to hurt her, so that Emma wouldn't want to pursue her any longer.

It wasn't what Regina wanted, but she knew, there wasn't any other way.

* * *

**Sooooo….. what do you think? Have Emma seen the last of Regina? Will she have to wait till she's 28 and Henry comes to find her, or will fate have other things in store for these ladies, who just can't seem to stay apart, no matter what part of the country they happen to be in.**

**(BTW I've already decided which it will be, I'm just wondering how you all think it will go!)**

**Tune in next Wednesday to find out!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

* * *

**Boston, Massachusetts  
October 22, 2008**

It was Emma's twenty-fifth birthday.

Of course, Regina couldn't forget this day if she tried, considering it coincided exactly with the anniversary of the day she had cast the dark curse.

It was also the anniversary of the birth of the prophesied Savior.

That thought had troubled her slightly, once she had gotten home Portland the day after she'd just met Emma, and it occurred to her that Emma was not only born on the day of the curse, but also the same year. Of course, that troubled Regina at the time, and the thought did cross her mind that Emma might have been the Savior, the child of Snow White and Prince Charming.

She might have been that Savior.

But, Regina was sure she wasn't. She was sure lots of little girls were born that day, and Rumple's prophecy distinctly stated that the Savior would turn up on her 28th birthday, not that Regina would meet her in some seedy bar in Oregon on her 17th.

And certainly fate would protect the Savior from jumping into bed with the Evil Queen, wouldn't it?

Regina was sure it was just a coincidence, but it forced her to remember Emma's birthday every year, none-the-less. It had been over five years since she'd last seen Emma, and she rarely crossed her mind these days; nothing more than a fleeting thought now and again.

But this day - every year on Emma's birthday - she missed her. And every year on Emma's birthday, Regina wondered if she made the right choice. Emma had been half-asleep and probably didn't even _remember_ telling Regina she loved her.

And, of course, Regina knew she didn't really love her, but she feared if she had let this go on any longer, Emma would have gotten dangerously close to that emotion. But she wouldn't love _her_, she would love the persona that Regina put forth. No one could really know her, truly who she was, and still love her anyway.

It would have only been a matter of time until she failed to live up to Emma's ideals, to Emma's vision of who Regina was, and Emma would smarten up and run far, far away. Evil Queens don't get happy endings, and Regina knew it was foolish to think she would when she'd done nothing to deserve it.

And Emma certainly deserved better than her.

Regina was convinced she didn't need love anyway, not romantic love. She had a son who adored her, and Graham to look after her physical needs. What more did she need?

She knew the answer to that, but she wouldn't admit it, not even to herself.

And yet, as she sat alone in a booth at an upscale Boston restaurant, nursing her drink and barely touching her food, she had to wonder where Emma was now. She was sure Emma had likely settled down. She was a beautiful girl, it wouldn't take long for someone to snatch her up, she was sure.

She wondered if she was married? She wondered even more if she _was_ married, was it to a man or a woman? She wondered why it even mattered to her, now?

She wondered if Emma had ever changed her number, and she bit her lip, resisting the urge to call and see.

* * *

Emma sighed as she sat across from the empty chair. Her 'date' had been in the bathroom nearly thirty minutes now, and she was well aware that he had caught on to her. She set her jaw, knowing this wasn't going to be an easy bounty, especially now that he knew her face.

She was usually better at this. She should have known better than to agree to a date _today_, however, knowing she'd be distracted. There had been a time in her life that her birthday was just another day, but that was before her seventeenth.

As much as she tried to force herself to forget about Regina, she was finding it nearly impossible, and her birthday was the hardest day. It didn't matter how many people she'd been with, no one compared, and eventually she'd given up even _trying_ to look, and thrown herself into the bailbonds game, fully. The only dates she went on were set-ups like this one, and normally, when she was focused and on the ball, they went much better than this one had.

She should have known better.

"Miss?" the waiter said, looking sympathetic as he walked over. Emma was grateful, at least, that they hadn't ordered their meals yet, so she'd only have to pay for the drinks.

"I know, he's not coming back," she nodded, trying to look at least a little broken up about it. "Sucks, you know? Because it's my birthday."

She reached into her purse to grab her wallet, but the waiter stopped her. "It's alright, it's on us tonight. Happy birthday."

Emma smirked and shook her head. "Yeah, thanks."

She handed him a tip anyway, and started to headed out the door, without a second glance at the brunette she passed, sitting alone at the corner booth.

She headed across the street to her Bug, and glanced into the window of the building she was parked in front of, more out of habit than really looking for anything.

And she couldn't believe what she saw.

* * *

"Regina?"

Regina's neck snapped up at the familiar voice, and her jaw dropped as she looked up at the blonde staring back at her. Emma was in a short teal dress, strapless and tight, and for a moment, Regina couldn't peel her eyes off of Emma's body to look at her face.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Regina swallowed hard, trying to regain her composure.

"Having dinner, what does it look like?" she snapped. She didn't really _mean_ to, but Emma's abrupt appearance had taken her by surprise, and distracted her… from thinking about Emma. "What are you doing in Boston?"

"I live here," Emma replied, the anger slowly dissipating from her voice, as she sat down across from Regina.

Regina raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so you're just inviting yourself to join me, then?"

Emma shrugged. "Well, I _was_ having dinner at the restaurant across the street, but my date bailed and I was going to just go home, but as fate would have it, I ran into you."

"On your birthday," Regina noted.

This time, Emma was surprised. "Yeah, funny how that always seems to work out, isn't it?"

Regina's mouth went dry. This was the _third _time she'd accidently run into Emma on her birthday. Maybe her Emma-the-Savior theory wasn't so far off base, after all.

And then she saw it. The challenging glint in Emma's eye, the way she set her jaw; she'd always thought Emma reminded her of someone, right from the first morning after, but she could never place it. Until now. Emma had always looked so innocent, so naive, but now, that challenge, that determination, that was all Snow. Emma was every bit her mother's daughter.

And suddenly, Regina knew how badly she'd fucked up.

But she couldn't let herself be defeated this easily, savior or no savior. She just needed to get Emma the hell away from her, no matter what conflicting feelings she might still harbour toward the blonde.

So Regina plastered on her best fake smile, the one she used when speaking the the people of Storybrooke - one she'd never used on Emma before - and spoke in the most condescending tone she could muster up. "Is there something you would like, Miss Swan?"

If Emma faltered, Regina didn't see it. Emma's jaw was still set and her eyes were still determined and Regina knew for sure now she wasn't dealing with the same pliable young woman anymore. "Yeah, actually. An explanation would be nice."

Regina quirked an eyebrow. "And just what, exactly, do I owe you an explanation for?"

"Well, let's see," Emma said, leaning forward and speaking in a hushed voice. "You spend a whole weekend trying to introduce me to new things, then you call me up and get me to touch myself over the phone for you, then you change your number and disappear from my life for five years? That's fucked up, Regina."

"I told you right from the start, it was _just_ sex. It was meaningless and it was going to end. It's not my fault if you can't understand boundaries."

"What? What the hell are you talking about? _You_ called _me_," Emma reminded her.

"I know. But I'm not the one who was getting too attached."

"I wasn't attached to you, Regina, don't flatter yourself. I've never been attached to anyone in my whole life, why would I start with you, when you made it clear from the start that _you_ didn't want me?"

"Well, if you weren't attached, you sure had a funny way of showing it."

"You know what? _Fuck you_!" Emma snapped as she stood again, and leaned in close to Regina over the table. "I'm not the one who bedded a fucking _teenager_ with no family and no friends and expected her _not_ to get attached to the first person who showed her any sort of real affection."

"That wasn't affection, Emma. And, for the record, I wasn't interested in your baggage then, and I'm certainly not interested now."

"You know what? You're not even worth my time anymore. I was a naive kid back then, and I thought I needed you, even little slices of your time, here and there, but I don't need you anymore."

With that, Emma turned on her heel and left the restaurant, without another glance.

Regina watched out of the corner of her eye as Emma got in her Bug and took off, and she waited until Emma was gone, before she dropped her head to her hands and cried.

* * *

**October 22, 2011  
Boston**

Emma swallowed hard as she glanced at the little boy grinning in the passenger seat next to her. When she'd wished not to be alone on her birthday, she hadn't really meant she wanted the kid she'd given up for adoption to just drop back into her life.

And demand she come home with him.

To Maine.

Emma hadn't heard from or seen Regina again, since that night three years ago, but, being that it was her birthday today, the thought of going to _Maine_ of all places, was a more than just a little unsettling.

And next to her, this boy was rattling on about a curse and a savior and Emma figured that was just her luck that her kid would get adopted out to some horrible mother, someone bad enough that he would refer to her as the "Evil Queen."

Emma cringed. There were more than a few foster mothers in her past who could have been awarded that title, and she'd thought giving her kid up for adoption would have saved him from that kind of a life. Didn't adoption agencies screen applicants a little better than the foster system?

Apparently not.

* * *

Regina paced in her foyer. Henry had been missing for hours, and she was sure it was no coincidence that he just so _happened_ to disappear on what should be the Savior's 28th birthday.

But she couldn't guess the connection.

She knew something would make Emma return to Storybrooke, but what did that have to do with her son? Emma had been in prison in Phoenix when Henry was born, but she'd gotten him from an agency in Boston. Henry had never been out of Storybrooke, and Regina would have known if Emma had been here.

But something deep down told her, Emma was coming tonight.

She was coming to break the curse.

* * *

Emma rolled her eyes as she got back into the Bug. Henry's therapist had just told her he was the Mayor's kid, and though Emma wasn't quite sure what town Regina was the mayor _of,_ she had a very, very bad feeling about this.

Regina's kid would be about the same age as Emma's, and she recalled just how good Regina had looked, just a short time after having a baby. Emma and thought she didn't even look like she'd given birth.

And now she had a sinking feeling she knew why.

And when she pulled up in front of the large white mansion and watched the brunette come running down the steps, her heart sank.

_How the fuck is this even possible?_

Emma shifted her weight from foot to foot and bit her lip and she considered just bolting. Regina hadn't even glanced at her yet, and she knew she could made a run for it and never come back.

But something made her want to stay.

"I found my _real_ mom!"

Emma's heart skipped a beat as Henry took off into the house and Regina looked up, meeting her eyes for the first time since she'd gotten out of the car.

"You're Henry's birth mother?"

Eleven years had led up to this moment, and Emma suddenly had to wonder how many chance meetings could be passed off as coincidences? How could random run-ins in Portland, Tallahassee, Boston and now Storybrooke, Maine, all on the same day, just mean nothing?

None of this made sense and she didn't know whether to scream or cry or laugh or run but Regina was staring at her and she knew she needed to say _something…_

"Hi."

* * *

**Alright, we've made it to the turning point now. This was the moment I was waiting for, and now all the cards on the table. How will Regina and Emma's history affect them now, moving forward?**

**Will Emma break the curse? Does Emma love Regina? Does **_**Regina **_**love **_**Emma**_**? Can Emma forgive her? And how long can they really last without a real conversation about the baggage BOTH of them carry?**

**Tune in next week as the mystery unfolds…. ;) **


	15. Chapter 15

_**Sorry this was so late, but I promise this story is far from over!**_

_**Also, I don't want to rewrite every canon scene, so assume that all the stuff: Emma waking up in jail, helping Regina find Henry, getting framed for stealing Henry's files, cutting the limb from the apple tree, and saving Henry from the mine, all happened as per canon, or else this story will grow very redundant very quickly. The action (after the break in this chapter) picks up somewhere after the mine, and before Regina kills Graham.**_

**Chapter Fifteen**

* * *

_"Hi."_

Regina shook her head in disbelief. How was this even possible? Of course fate would have it that she would adopt the Savior's son. It made so much sense, really.

And she knew Gold was behind this.

But she couldn't think about that now, not when Emma-the-Savior-_and-_Henry's-birth-mother-Swan was standing there, staring at her, waiting for her to say _something. _To say their last meeting hadn't gone well would be an understatement, but now Regina feared _that_ was really just the calm before the storm.

For a brief, fleeting moment, Regina considered pretending that she didn't even remember Emma. She figured she could just offer her a glass of apple cider, and play aloof. Emma already knew she was far from Regina's only lover over the years, and perhaps playing into how insignificant she truly was would be all that it would take to send her running.

That's what Regina wanted, after all, wasn't it?

Well, she knew that's what she _should_ want.

But in a moment of temporary insanity, she let herself slip. "Emma?"

Emma rolled her eyes and shook her head. "How the _fuck_ is this even possible?"

"Why don't you tell me? Since you are the one who showed up on _my _doorstep," Regina retorted.

"Yeah, because _your_ kid brought me here. I don't know how he even found me, but considering you adopted him, it's no wonder he tracked me down."

"How dare you! I am a good mother to my son, regardless of what you think happened between us."

"What I think happened? How about-"

"Madam Mayor," said Graham, as he stepped out of the mansion and effectively cut Emma off mid-sentence. "Perhaps you should take this inside, rather than cause a scene for your neighbours?"

Regina closed her eyes for a moment, silently counting to ten to regain control of her nerves. "Miss Swan," she said, opening her eyes again. "How would you like a glass of the best apple cider you ever tasted?"

Emma rolled her eyes again. "Got anything stronger?"

"Well, if you think you're going to get 'hella' drunk with me tonight, you better think again," Regina scoffed.

"Don't worry, _Madam Mayor_, I'm not nineteen anymore."

"No, you most certainly are not," Regina agreed, as she turned to head inside, Emma following quickly behind, as Graham headed back out to his car.

Emma looked around the large entryway once they were inside. The house was nice - and huge - and everything she would have wanted growing up. On sight, she would guess that the kid would have everything he could ever want here, but he was convinced his mother - Regina! - was the Evil Queen from a fairy tale.

If any other woman would have opened that door, Emma would have assumed Henry was exaggerating, but Emma had experienced Regina's unpredictability and coldness first hand, and she could only guess Henry had experienced that, too, at some point.

After all, why else would he believe this fairy tale crap?

"So," Regina said, as she began to pour two glasses of liquor. "You had Henry while you were in prison, I assume?"

"Yeah, obviously," Emma replied, not bothering to hide her exasperation.

"And you never thought to add that detail when you told me you were in prison?"

"No," Emma said, narrowing her eyes in confusion. "Why the hell would I tell you that? It was none of your business, and if I remember correctly, you weren't interested in my baggage."

"I'm not, it just seems like a lot of unpleasantness could have been avoided," Regina replied, as she handed Emma a drink.

"Yeah, okay, so this is all on me? You let me believe you had a child, not you adopted a kid. Maybe if _you_ had been honest, we could have figured this out sooner," Emma retorted.

"I knew seeing you again was a bad idea," Regina sighed, as she led Emma into the study. "I should have made a clean break after the first night."

"Well, why didn't you?"

"I… It doesn't matter now," Regina shrugged.

"It seems like it matters more now than ever," Emma countered.

Regina raised an eyebrow. "Really? Why's what?"

"Well, I mean, now we know… you adopted my kid, we're… I don't know, connected or something."

"Emma, what do you think is going to happen here? Regardless of our history, you gave Henry up… in a closed adoption, I might add. You have no right to access to him, so perhaps it's time for you to not make the same mistake I did. Make a clean break, Emma. Go back to wherever you came from, and forget you were ever here. It's what's best for everyone."

"It's what's best for you, maybe!"

"It's what's best for you, too, dear. And Henry, and that's what matters."

"Yeah, well, I got an earful from Henry on the way over here, and I'm not so sure that you really are the best thing for him, to be completely honest. I mean, the kid thinks…" Emma let her voice trail off, deciding better of telling Regina Henry's theory.

"He thinks what, Miss Swan?"

Emma shrugged. "Nothing. It doesn't matter. Look, I wouldn't have come here if I knew you were his mother. I'm not here to take him back or anything, I was just dropping him off."

Regina narrowed her eyes suspiciously at the sudden change in Emma's demeanor. Something was off, and she desperately wanted to know exactly what Emma knew about what Henry thought.

There was no way he knew… was there?

All she knew for sure is that she needed to get Emma as far away from Storybrooke as possible.

"Well, it's getting late. If you're still living in Boston, you've got quite a drive ahead of you," Regina said, standing. "Perhaps it's best if you get on the road now."

"Yeah, okay," Emma said, putting her glass of liquor on the end table as she stood as well. "Wouldn't want to make an awkward situation anymore awkward anyway, right? You do remember what day it is today?"

"You expect me to wish you a happy birthday?" Regina asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, just pointing out that this is the fourth time we've run into each other on this day," Emma said with a nonchalant shrug.

"And you think this means something?"

"I dunno. You believe in fate, Madam Mayor?"

"Hardly. It's just a coincidence Emma," Regina insisted, as she led the way to the front door. "Have a safe drive home."

Emma said nothing as she trudged back to her car.

* * *

And Emma didn't leave town. To Regina's dismay, she took a room at Granny's inn, and even after she had her forcibly evicted, she moved in with _Snow White_ of all people. Gold was no help, no matter how much Regina hounded him about who Emma really was, and where he'd managed to procure Henry, he was smug as always, and offered no answers.

But, even if there was any shred of doubt left in Regina's mind that Emma was the Savior, it was dwindling quickly, and even though she tried her best to avoid her, she was always _there_. In spite of everything, Henry adored her, and Graham gave her a job, and Emma was just always _around._

And it was pure torture.

Every time she saw Emma, she was bombarded of memories of them together. It was never supposed to be like that. Emma was _supposed_ to have been nothing more than casual sex, but even Regina was having a hard time remembering that, whenever she saw her around. Their interactions were heated, at best, and Regina couldn't help but think their past had something to do with that. She knew there were a lot of unresolved feelings on Emma's part, and for her own part... well, try as she might to pretend she felt nothing, she knew the way Emma got under her skin like no other wasn't nothing.

Regina supposed she should be able to take some semblance of a victory in having bedded Snow White's daughter, at least, and on several occasions for that matter, but as much as she hated to admit it, Emma was so much more than just Snow White's daughter now. She was that naive young girl, all grown up, and she still intrigued and fascinated Regina as much as she ever had.

Regina had often wondered throughout the years if things would have been different if she'd never called Emma that night. Or if Emma had never sleepily told her she loved her. The thought of being loved by _anyone _was scary enough, but being loved by someone so pure as sweet, young Emma Swan was terrifying.

She wasn't so sweet and young now. Life had changed her. She was bolder, more demanding, less pliable and more defiant. Perhaps, if she were anyone other than Henry's birth mother and the savior, Regina could actually build a future with her.

But perhaps not.

Emma was more than the Savior or Henry's mother or Snow White's daughter. It was much worse than that. She was Leopold's granddaughter. The thought that Regina had grown this fond of someone in his bloodline made her cringe. The thought that she had willingly slept with his descendant made her wince.

She wondered, as she often did, what she'd done in life to make fate so cruel to her? Was it not bad enough that she'd lost her true love? She's also lost her innocence and freedom to the King - a man as old as her father, and now she was learning that she _still_ didn't have freedom. She didn't adopt Henry by chance, no, that was another cruel trick of fate. As was meeting Emma again and again. No wonder she'd been so drawn to the woman, fate was pushing the Savior at the Evil Queen.

To break the curse.

This wasn't right. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. She needed Emma _out_ of Storybrooke, before she ruined everything.

She needed to be out of Storybrooke, before she ruined Regina.

But, as usual, Emma's natural instinct was to do the exact opposite of what Regina wanted her to do. Such was the case the night that she showed up, drunk, on Regina's doorstep, banging incessantly until she saw a light flick on in a room upstairs.

"Emma!" Regina gasped, when she finally pulled the door open. "What the hell are you doing here? Do you have any idea what time it is?"

Emma shrugged. "No. We need to talk."

"It's past midnight. It can wait."

"It absolutely cannot wait," Emma insisted. "I've been in town three weeks now, and you've barely said two words to me. You only talk to me out of necessity."

"Yes, well, if you remember correctly, I asked you to _leave_ my town. On several occasions. Why would I roll out the welcoming committee for someone I don't even want here?"

"Because I think you do want me here, to some degree," Emma shrugged. "Your problem is you _want_ me here, and you can't admit it, not even to yourself. You're so fucked up that you're lashing out at me, and it needs to stop."

"You're drunk," Regina said, crossing her arms in front of her chest, defensively.

"You're a bitch."

"Excuse me?"

Emma shrugged again. "Sorry, I thought we were stating the obvious."

"Emma, go home, I have nothing to say to you," Regina said, turning to head back inside.

But Emma had other plans.

"Yeah, well, I have something to say to you!" she said, grabbing Regina by the arm, harder than she really intended to, but her sense of self was more than a little impaired by the alcohol.

Regina gasped and tried to pull out of Emma's grip, but her struggling only made Emma hold on tighter. "Let go of me! Let me go!" Regina cried, her voice an octave higher than normal, with pure panic.

Even in her inebriated state, Emma recognized the desperation in Regina's voice, and released her grip instantly.

"Regina, I'm sorry," she said, quickly sobering up in the heated situation, remembering how Regina didn't like to be touched, even in intimate situations, "I'm so sorry, I forgot. I didn't think-"

"Just leave! Now, Emma, please!"

Regina had told Emma to leave several times since she'd first arrived, but this was different. There was no malice in her voice now, just painful pleading. Emma had never seen Regina once lose control of her emotions, but right now, she looked like she might just break down and cry any moment.

And Emma was sure she shouldn't leave her.

For her part, however, Regina made the decision for her, as she turned abruptly and slammed the door shut behind her, without another word.

Emma stood and stared at the door, dumbfounded by what had just transpired. Even in her state of half-drunkeness, she had been around enough abuse in her life to recognize the eyes of a victim when she saw one.

She might not know much about Regina's life, but that look she'd just seen - eyes fearful and watery with years of unshed tears - spoke volumes.

Emma turned slowly and trudged back down the laneway, and began her slow walk home. After getting drunk earlier that evening at the Rabbit Hole with Graham, she'd decided, with some prompting from the Irish sheriff, that maybe Regina had been right: maybe it was best for everyone if she left town.

She had gone to Regina's home with the intent of telling her that, and with the hopes of maybe - just _maybe _\- getting some semblance of closure in their whole screwed up relationship, before she left Storybrooke, and Regina's life, for good. She hadn't planned on inadvertently forcing Regina to lay all her cards on the table.

But now she knew she couldn't leave.

Initially, she'd stayed for Henry. Well, _mostly_ for Henry, and maybe just a little bit for herself. She just wanted to know what the hell was going on. She didn't believe in the curse, but she knew something was wrong here. Something was off in Storybrooke, and she'd stayed for Henry's sake, but she was sure she was just making things worse for him just by being here, and she had to leave.

And she wanted to know what happened that night, nearly eight years ago. What had caused Regina's reaction? She needed to know, but being here, seeing Regina all the time, just brought back all those painful memories. She knew she should have been more than used to abandonment by now, but Regina's abandonment had felt different. They'd had a connection - Emma was sure of that - and Regina'd abandoned her anyway. Staying was too hard, she had to leave.

And now she knew, she couldn't stay for Henry and she couldn't stay for herself, but she absolutely _had_ to stay for Regina, no matter how hard it was.

And not matter whether Regina liked it or not.

Emma drew in a deep breath of the cool Storybrooke air, reaffirming her on resolve. In her life, every single person had abandoned her in her time of need. She wouldn't do the same to Regina.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

* * *

"Emma, what are still doing up?" Mary Margaret asked as she entered the loft after a decidedly unsuccessful date with Dr. Whale, surprised to see her new roommate still awake, sitting on the sofa, looking intensely focused on... something.

"Nothing. Just thinking," Emma sighed. "Hey, Mary Margaret... what do you know about Regina?"

"Mayor Mills? Not much, really. We don't run in the same circles. You seem quite... well, for lack of a better word... _taken_ with her."

Emma smirked and shook her head. "It's that obvious? Can you keep a secret?"

"Of course," Mary Margaret insisted with a smile, coming to sit next to Emma.

"Well... once upon a time, when I was young and naive, before I even had Henry, I met Regina in a bar one night and we... kind of hooked up."

"Hooked up?" Mary Margaret repeated. "Like, sex?"

"Yes," Emma nodded, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Before you had Henry? Did you intend to give him to her, then?"

"Nope. Pure coincidence, at least that's how she sees it, anyway."

"Wow. How awkward that must be for you then. What are the odds that the woman you shared a one night stand with would adopt your child!"

"It uh, it wasn't just a one night stand," Emma confessed, looking at Mary Margaret a little sheepishly.

"But I thought you said you hooked up?"

"Yeah... more than once... over the course of two years... before and _after_ I had Henry..."

"Oh. I see. And now what?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you here Emma? Why did you stay in Storybrooke? For Henry or for Regina?"

"I stayed for me," Emma said decisively, "and for Henry... and for Regina."

"Okay, so then what's your next move?"

* * *

It took nearly a week for Emma to decide her next move. She waited until Saturday, knowing that Henry was off at a sleepover and Regina would be home, alone.

For twenty minutes, she sat in her car, talking herself into having the courage to face Regina again. If Regina knew she was out there, she made no attempt to come out, or even text Emma and tell her to leave.

Emma knew, though, there was still a chance she knew she was out there, and would not answer the door when Emma knocked.

Emma guessed she might as well bite the bullet, and go find out.

Regina answered the door almost as soon as Emma knocked, and Emma guessed that meant she _had_ known she was standing out there.

"Miss Swan," Regina said, making no move to invite Emma inside.

But Emma was not deterred. "We need to talk."

"I can assure you that we absolutely do not. We have nothing to discuss, dear," Regina said, crossing her arm and setting her jaw.

"_I_ can assure you that we absolutely _do_, and I'm not leaving, so either you can invite me in or we can do this out here."

Regina sighed and stepped back to let Emma inside. "I don't remember you being so rude," Regina scoffed as she shut the door behind them.

"Yeah, well I don't remember you being such a bitch. I guess people change," Emma shrugged.

"Emma, whatever it is you want from me, I can assure you that flinging insults is not the way to get it," said Regina, as she crossed her arms again and made no attempt to allow Emma any further into her home than the entry way they were standing in.

"You know what I want from you."

To her surprise, Regina's lips curled up in a devious smirk, and Emma felt her heart flutter. Regina's smile was dark, and like nothing Emma had ever seen from her before.

"Oh, I think I know _exactly _what you want, Emma," Regina replied, and before Emma even had a chance to react, Regina was advancing on her, pushing her back hard against the door. Within seconds, Regina's lips were crashing angrily, forcefully against Emma's.

Emma squirmed her face away from Regina's, turning her head to the side as Regina moved her mouth to Emma's neck, kissing and sucking hard at the exposed flesh there.

"Regina, stop," Emma forced out, her voice a breathy whisper.

"Isn't this what you want, Emma?" Regina asked, between kisses on her clavical. "Isn't this why you keep hounding me? You miss this, don't you? Isn't this who you keep coming at me?"

Momentarily, Regina's words distracted Emma from what her hands were doing, and before she realized what was happening, Regina hand a hand inside the waistband of her jeans, making her descent inside Emma's panties, to her core.

"Isn't this what you want, _Emma_?" Regina hissed, her voice full of venom in an way that Emma had never heard it before. Who was this woman? Because this was certainly not the woman she'd met in Portland all those years ago.

"No," Emma breathed. Despite the fact that she had longed for Regina's touch so many times throughout the years, she knew that this, right now, was nothing more than an obvious attempt to derail her.

"No?" Regina repeated with a raised eyebrow, as she stopped her motions completely and withdrew her hand suddenly. "What do you want then, Emma, if it's not to be fucked? I have nothing else to offer you."

"You could start with an explanation," Emma suggested, trying to school her features and even out her breathing as much as possible.

"What exactly do you think I owe you an explanation for now?" Regina countered, rolling her eyes.

"Same thing as always. Tell me why you ended things, and I will stop hounding you about it," Emma said, with a shrug.

"I already have told you, you just refuse to accept it."

"Right," Emma replied, rolling her own eyes, "I was getting too attached, in your opinion. Though you've never told me what, exactly, brought you to that conclusion."

"You really want to know, Emma? Fine. I never called you again because the last time I did, you told me you loved me. Happy now?"

Emma couldn't even stop her jaw from dropping at the revelation. It took a moment for her to come back to her senses, and actually say something in response. "I… I never said I loved you."

"You did. On the phone, while you were falling asleep. I'm sure you don't remember, but trust me, I do. I told you it was just sex, Miss Swan, and that's all it was, for me. You, apparently, couldn't keep the lines from blurring, and that was an issue. Are we done now?"

"No, I… no we're not done. I… I obviously didn't mean it. I don't know what love is any better than you do."

Regina clenched her jaw at the implication that Emma was making. "I _know_ what love is, Miss Swan. I've experienced it before, and what we… did… was not that."

"Well, it was something," Emma countered, "because if it wasn't, you wouldn't _still_ be this worked up over it, nine years later.

"How else am I supposed to react when you insist on interjecting yourself into my life at every turn? Why can't you just _go_, and let me be happy? What is it with you and your…." Regina stopped herself before adding _bloodline_ to that sentence. Normally, she could play the part of Mayor perfectly, with none of the Evil Queen slipping through, but Emma just had a way of getting under her skin, and affecting her in a way no one else could.

But that wasn't love.

No, Regina told herself it had to have something to do with being the Savior. And the Evil Queen wasn't supposed to love the Savior… after all, if Emma knew the truth, there was no way the Savior could possibly love the Evil Queen.

"Me and my what?" Emma asked, bringing Regina back out of her thoughts.

"Nothing! Get out of my house, I don't want you here, Emma. It's time for you to accept that," Regina snapped.

"We're not done here," Emma insisted, crossing her own arms defensively - and a little defiantly - holding her place against Regina's door. Truthfully, she she didn't know how she expected this stand off to end, but she knew she'd go home and drive herself crazy if she left it like this, now.

Regina threw her hands up in what looked like defeat, but Emma knew it was anything but. "What more do you want from me?"

"I want to help you," Emma confessed, and immediately realized that was probably the absolute wrong thing to say.

"I don't want your help."

"Maybe not, but you need it," Emma insisted.

"With what, pray tell?" Regina challenged, narrowing her eyes suspicously.

"Last week," Emma said, softening her voice as much as she good, so as to not set Regina off again, "when I grabbed your arm. I saw that look in your eyes, and I've seen it before."

"Whatever it is you think you saw, it's none of your business. Don't you get it, Emma? You don't mean anything to me. We're not friends, we're not anything, and we never will be. You shouldn't even want to be near me."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"Why the hell do you think? I took advantage of you when you were seventeen! You were a child and I took your innocence!"

"I was anything but innocent," Emma countered.

"Doesn't matter. You should hate me for it anyway."

"You don't get to decide how I feel," Emma replied, studying Regina's eyes carefully. Suddenly, it was starting to click. "Who took advantage of you?"

Regina's eyes darkened again, and Emma knew she'd hit a nerve. "Get out of my house. Now. Or I will call Graham and have you arrested, again."

Emma hestitated a moment, but something in Regina's tone told her she wasn't getting any further with Regina tonight.

"Fine. But we're not done."

"Emma. Please, just leave this alone. Don't try to help me. Don't even try to know me, because I guarantee if you don't hate me now, you will."

Emma sighed, and turned around, opening the door without another word. She'd hit a nerve, that much was clear, and she was treading dangerously close to the truth of whatever had happened to Regina in her past, but Regina wasn't lying when she said Emma would hate her.

Still, Emma was sure that was inpossible.

Something horrible had happened to Regina, and how could Emma hate her for that?

Emma left feeling defeated, yet hopeful. Despite Regina's resistence, she was sure she'd made some headway. She hoped that maybe after she'd had a night to think on it, Regina would change her mind and accept some help from Emma.

Or maybe she'd double her efforts on getting Emma the hell out of Storybrooke.

She guessed she'd find out soon enough.

* * *

**What do you think Regina will do now? Accept that maybe - just maybe - Emma is on her side? Or work even harder to push her away?**

**Find out next Wednesday ;)**

**Also, if you have Tumblr, hit me up: rowark-sq**

**Send me messages and we can be friends :) :)**


	17. Chapter 17

_**A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry about the incredibly long delay in updating this one. Thanks for sticking with me, and for all the messages of encouragement I've gotten to finish this one :) I promise I have not and will not abandon it permanently! It will be finished. This is my first ever Swan Queen story and it is very special to me, too :)**_

_**There's still a fair bit to come, as Emma has barely scratched the surface of Regina's deeper issues, and, you know, the whole cursing breaking thing is yet to come as well... I don't know how long it will take to finish, but I promise I will!**_

_**Oh, and this is going to continue to loosely include canon events from season one, though I don't plan on killing off Graham because I will never forgive OUAT for that. Emma needs a best friend, anyway. (Well, one that won't turn out to be her mother lol)**_

* * *

****Chapter Seventeen****

* * *

"I take it things didn't go well with Regina last night?" Mary Margaret asked, as she came into the room where Emma was sitting cross-legged at the table, eating her Froot Loops.

"How did you know I went to Regina's last night?" Emma asked, looking at at Mary Margaret, confused.

"Because, you always give your cereal that death stare after a run-in with her. It wasn't hard to put the pieces together," Mary Margaret sighed, as she sat down across from Emma. "So, what happened?"

Emma shook her head. "Nothing, really. Nothing ever happens. She's so closed off, I don't know what to do."

"Maybe…" Mary Margaret said, thoughtfully. "Maybe it's time to back off."

"What? That's the opposite of what I want to do. I want-"

"I know what you want," Mary Margaret cut Emma off. "But it's not what she wants. Or, at least, it's not what she wants right now. Her defenses are up, Emma, and that's not going to change if you keep confronting her. Maybe just back off, and give her some time to process. Giver her a chance to miss you."

"She had nine years to miss me," Emma reminded her. "And she didn't then, so why would she now?"

"How do you know she didn't then?"

"Because _she_ ended it _She_ made it impossible for me to reach her. _She_ could have called me again, and she never tried, not even once. _She-_"

"It sounds like perhaps _she_ got a little scared. I've lived in this town, well, forever, and never once have I known the Mayor to be in any sort of relationship. That's just not who she is. Maybe she was afraid of something casual becoming.. something more than casual. But it's been nine years, and people change… maybe she can to, if you give her a chance."

Emma nodded slowing, processing what Mary Margaret was saying. Of course Regina was scared. Emma had apparently told her she loved her, even if she didn't actually remember it. So maybe Mary Margaret was right. Maybe time and space was all Regina needed.

* * *

During the next few weeks, Emma put herself head first into work, picking up as many hours at the Sheriff's office as she could. It was hard being in Storybrooke and also attempting to avoid Regina so as to give her space, so spending more time at the station seemed like a good enough way to keep herself occupied.

Of course, spending more time at the station meant spending more time with Graham, and though Emma could tell he was developing a little crush, after how everything had gone down with Neal, she was determined to make sure this stayed platonic. Emma had never been great at cultivating friendships, but now, here in Storybrooke, with Mary Margaret and Graham and even Ruby, Emma was starting to feel like she finally found a place to belong.

That is, until she discovered Graham and Regina's dirty little secret.

"I can't look at you the same," Emma sighed, shaking her head as she sat across from Graham at a table at the Rabbit Hole, nursing her drink.

"Emma, we're two consenting adults. We're not doing anything wrong," Graham insisted. "It's just casual. It's…"

"It's just sex," Emma nodded. "Yeah. I know how that goes. But what happens when one of you gets attached, and the other one gets scared?"

Graham shrugged. "If it hasn't happened yet, I doubt it will. I can assure you, I don't feel anything for Regina, and I don't think she's capable of feeling anything, for anyone."

"Don't say that," Emma said, trying not to sound defensive. "I mean, she loves Henry."

"Does she?"

"I think so," Emma nodded. "I mean, she _wants_ him. She must love him."

"We don't have to talk about this, you know. I know it's not an easy subject for you."

"Why? Because no one has ever wanted me? I've seen a lot of shitty parents in my life. I just don't think Regina is one of them. She's just… she's got her walls up."

"And so do you," Graham pointed out.

"What?"

"Emma… I'm not blind. I may have thought about the possibility of something between us, when we first met, but now… I see the way you look at her."

Emma blanched. Since when could everyone just see right through her? "I… I don't love her."

Graham raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I never said anything about love."

Emma cringed. No, he hadn't said anything about love. It was just what was on her mind, all the time now. Every time she saw Regina and every time she didn't, ever since Regina had told her what she'd said that night.

"I think I'm gonna go home," Emma said, quietly.

"I'll walk you."

Emma nodded and accepted the escort. It wasn't that Storybrooke was an even remotely dangerous place, but she was still grateful for Graham's company, since had he not been there, she was sure she would have ran all the way to Regina's and made an ass out of herself, again.

"You still good to cover for me tomorrow?" Graham asked.

"Yeah, I got this, Sheriff," Emma smiled. "Good night."

* * *

The next morning, Emma was sitting alone in the station, idly tapping her pen on her desk and trying to think about _anything_ other than the dark haired Mayor, while Graham picked up an extra shift at the animal shelter, when the phone rang, causing Emma to jump.

"Good morning, Storybrooke Sheriff's Department. This is Deputy Swan," she said into the phone, as professionally as she could.

There was a long pause on the other end, and then finally, an all-too-familiar voice. "Deputy Swan. This is Graham's personal line," Regina said, sounding utterly unimpressed.

"Yeah, he's not in today, so I'm holding down the fort," Emma said, trying to sound as casual as she could, considering the awkwardness of this being their first conversation since the last time she'd shown up on Regina's doorstep.

"I see. Well, I was going to ask Graham to pay me a visit at my office, to discuss some procedural policies, but I suppose it will have to wait until tomorrow, assuming that he plans on reporting to work."

"Oh… uh… or I could just come?" Emma suggested, on a reflex, momentarily forgetting that she was supposed to be giving Regina space.

There was another long pause, and Emma cringed, suddenly wondering if this 'visit' Regina had wanted wasn't meant to be professional at all. "I suppose you could," Regina said, finally. "I expect you here in ten minutes."

Emma's heart skipped a beat, as she remembered the last time Regina had given her a deadline to be somewhere. She swallowed hard, trying to forget the jealousy she'd felt that night when she thought Regina was about to hop into bed with some random stranger, instead of her, as she grabbed her jacket and bolted from the station.

Truthfully, ten minutes was plenty of time, but Emma wasn't planning on making Regina have to wait for her, anyway. She knew that never ended well for her.

When she arrived, Regina was sitting at her desk, filling out some paperwork, and Emma stood awkwardly in the doorway, waiting to be officially invited in. She chewed on her bottom lip, as she watched Regina continue to work, seeming to pay not attention to the blonde's presence.

Finally, Regina closed the open folder on her desk, and looked up. "Come in, Miss Swan. And please close the door."

Emma nodded and did as she was asked, taking a deep breath as she stepped up to Regina's desk.

"I may have been less than truthful when I said I wanted Graham to come here and discuss procedural policy," Regina informed her, her voice void on any inflection.

"Oh," Emma said, feeling deflated as she realized she was probably right: this was supposed to be nothing more than a booty call. But, if that was all it was, why would she allow Emma to come in Graham's place?

"But what I wanted to discuss with Graham, I suppose I can discuss with you just as well," Regina continued, narrowing her eyes as she studied Emma's face.

"Okay. And what's that?" Emma asked, trying to sound nonchalant in spite of her nervousness.

"Just what the hell is going on between you and Graham?" Regina asked, point blank.

"Uh," Emma faltered, as the unexpected question took her aback. "Um… nothing? What are you even talking about?"

Regina rolled her eyes. "Don't. You're with him all of the time. I see how he looks at you. Don't pretend there's nothing going on because I know there is, and it's unprofessional."

"Unprofessional? Wow… okay. Regina, there is absolutely nothing going on between me and Graham. But if you want to bring professionalism into this, I know _all_ about what's going on between _you _and Graham, and I don't intend to get into the middle of… that."

Regina narrowed her eyes again. "What goes on between Graham and myself is _my_ business. Need I remind you that this is _my_ town? You don't belong here and you don't get to pass judgment on me. Furthermore, you already _are_ in the middle of it, since you've put yourself in the middle of everything in my life since the day you arrived."

"That's not what I'm trying to do," Emma insisted. In fact, it was what she's actively been trying _not_ to do for the last few weeks.

"I don't care what you are trying to do, Emma, I just… I can't…" Regina shook her head, unsure of how to end that sentence.

"You just can't what, Regina?"

"I just can't have you _here_ and not have _you_," Regina finally blurted out, and immediately cringed, closing her eyes and shaking her head.

"But you _could_ have me. Regina, I'm right here," Emma said, exasperated.

"You are, but I can't have you. You don't understand and you can't understand, because you would…."

"Hate you? You keep saying that, but you're just scared," Emma insisted.

"I'm not scared. I'm just not stupid."

"Regina… if you want me, you can have me. I'm right here and I don't plan on leaving," Emma said, worrying her bottom lip again. It wasn't like her to put herself out like this, but she knew no one was ever going to be like Regina. She'd looked. She had to do something.

"And what happens when you inevitably want more?"

"Then… I guess we cross that bridge when we get there?" Emma suggested. "I don't know… you know I have no experience with the whole relationship thing. All I know is I want _you_. Maybe one day I'll want more but I can't even think about that because I can't get you out of my head."

"I've never been able to get you out of my head," Regina confessed, quietly. "So, what then? What are you proposing we do? Casual hook ups like I have with Graham?"

"Maybe we could date?" Emma offered, hoping she wasn't pushing too far, too fast, considering this was the most headway she'd made with Regina since arriving in Storybrooke.

Regina seemed to mull over the idea in her mind for a moment before answering. "I don't date. But… I've done a lot of things with you that I've never done with anyone else. So… I'll agree to one date, and if I decide that's it, then that's it. Does that sound fair?"

Emma smirk. "About as fair an offer as I could expect from you, yes."

"Right. Well, we'll go to dinner tonight then? Get Ruby to cover you at the station. Henry is going to the animal shelter to help Graham after school, so he'll be gone all evening. Be at my house at six, and I will take you out. Don't be late."

Emma nodded, and then narrowed her eyes. "Wait.. you already knew Graham wasn't at the station today? Before you called?"

"Six o'clock, Miss Swan," Regina repeated, with a dismissive wave. "Don't be late. I don't give second chances."

Emma nodded again. "Right. Got it. Six o'clock. I won't be late," she said, as she turned to leave Regina's office before the Mayor had a chance to change her mind and reneg on the offer. She also decided not to question _why_ Regina didn't offer to just pick her up, if she was planning on taking her out, anyway.

None of it mattered. All that mattered was she had her chance. Mary Margaret had been right: Regina needed space, and time to miss her, and clearly she did.

And Emma wasn't going to waste this opportunity.

* * *

_**A/N: I wanted to include some of Regina's perspective this chapter, but I ran out of time as I am going out of town and leaving shortly, so I wanted to get this up before I left... next chapter will have what was going through Regina's head in the two weeks that Emma was avoiding her, and why the sudden change in her :)**_


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

* * *

Regina stood in front of her full length mirror, scrutinizing the _fifth_ outfit she'd put on that night. Nothing felt quite right for a _date_ with Emma Swan, but she'd finally opted for a form-fitting, deep red dress that ended mid-thigh and revealed just enough cleavage to be enticing without being trashy. She added sheer charcoal nylons and black pumps, and she knew her make-up was flawless, and yet she couldn't help looking at herself with an air of self-consciousness.

She tried to tell herself that she was being ridiculous. If there was one sure thing in life, it was that Emma would always _want _her.

Or, at least there was a time when she believed that to be true.

As of late, she wasn't so sure exactly what - or rather who - Emma really wanted anymore. She wasn't young and naive anymore and Regina wondered if perhaps Emma wasn't quite as enthralled with her as she once was. Afterall, Regina had gone to great lengths to push Emma out of her life, for a long time.

As much as she didn't want Emma around, what she _really_ didn't want was Emma here, in her town, getting close to Graham. She didn't particularly care what Graham did in his free time, so long as what he was doing _wasn't_ Emma.

She had to shake her head at the ridiculousness of the whole situation. She shouldn't be going out on a date with the _savior_, and yet here she was, getting ready for her date, all because it was eating her up inside to think that Emma would be with anyone else _but_ her.

Of course, she knew that Emma _had_ been with plenty of other people, but that was always when Regina wasn't around to have to watch it happen. It was just like the effect the redhead in the bar had had on her all those years ago, and Regina was beginning to realize she didn't just _want_ Emma, she wanted Emma all to herself.

And Regina was quite used to getting what she wanted.

"You're making a mistake," she whispered to herself. And she knew it was true. There was not a single way this could work out, in the long run. She was walking headfirst into a disaster just waiting to happen. Either, Emma found out the truth and hated her for it, or else she allowed Emma to live a lie for the rest of her life, just like everyone else she cursed.

Could she really live with herself allowing Emma to be roommates with her biological mother, and never let her know the truth?

Then again, could she go on at all if Emma learned the truth, and never wanted to see her again? What if she took Henry away? Regina knew she stood to lose everything right now, but still, all she could think about was being with Emma again.

This girl had had her enraptured since their first night together, and Regina was worried about how much of that pull to be near Emma was fate making sure they remained on a collision course. If it was fate, however, then why would Regina still want her now? It didn't make sense, and Regina was sure there was more at play here than _just _fate.

Regina sighed. It was nearly six o'clock, and if she knew one thing for sure, it was that Emma would never be late to meet her again. She'd made sure of that years ago. It was too late to change again, so this was what she was going to have to go with.

She headed down to her foyer to wait for Emma, and, like clockwork, her doorbell rang at precisely six o'clock. She opened it to reveal Emma, standing with an awkward smile, in a short black shirt, a white tank top and her red leather jacket.

Regina swallowed hard, unable to even return Emma's smile as she grabbed her by her jacket and pulled her into the house.

"Fuck dinner," Regina muttered, as she pushed Emma up against the wall and pressed her lips down hard on the blonde's, catching Emma's surprised gasp in her eager mouth.

To her surprise, though, Emma pushed her off of her, with a cheeky grin. "Uh uh. You promised me a date and we're going on a date," she reminded her.

Regina rolled her eyes. "Fine. Let's go."

"How romantic," Emma laughed, as she followed Regina out the door towards her Mercedes.

"Don't test me, Miss Swan," Regina said, curtly. "Remember it's my decision if there will be another date after this one."

"How could I forget?" Emma asked. This time it was her who rolled her eyes. How could she ever forget who called all the shots on any encounter the two of them had ever had?

Emma sat silently as Regina drove her to the fanciest restaurant Storybrooke had, smiling to herself at the fact that this was even happening at all. All she had wanted from the time she'd met Regina at seventeen, was to go on a normal date and have a chance at a normal relationship with the woman.

It had seemed entirely impossible then. In fact, Regina had made damn sure that Emma _knew_ it was impossible then. But now… well, now it felt like it was entirely within her reach. If only Regina would let her walls down, just a little.

They sat and made small talk at the table once Regina had put in their wine order. Emma talked about her day at the station alone, and Regina talked about Henry - which Emma found strange, since Regina had been quite adamant that she didn't want Emma in Henry's life, period. But she enjoyed it, nonetheless.

"This isn't us, you know," Regina pointed out, once the wine had arrived and they'd placed their dinner orders.

"There isn't an 'us'," Emma reminded her, as she took a sip of wine. She didn't know wine well, but Regina had picked a good one, as far as she could tell.

"No. But this isn't what we do," Regina insisted.

"We've had dinner together before."

Regina sighed and rolled her eyes, feeling slightly exasperated. Why had she thought this was a good idea?

"Look, Regina, I know this is kind of awkward given our… history. But that was a long time ago. I'm not that same girl anymore," Emma conceded. It was fairly obvious that Regina was uncomfortable and way out of her element, and Emma knew as well as she did that the last time they'd had dinner together was _nothing_ like this. That wasn't a date; it was just a prelude to the sex they both knew they would be having that evening.

"You may not be, but I can assure you that I haven't changed," Regina insisted.

"Maybe I'm okay with that."

"You're not. Emma, I already know you're not going to be happy with an ongoing casual relationship with me. You're going to want more. You already want more."

"How about… for once, you just let me decide what I want for myself?" Emma suggested.

"And what do you want?"

"Right now? I just want to enjoy a nice dinner with a beautiful woman, okay? And maybe when we're done here, I want to go home with you. And I don't want to sneak out your bedroom window afterwards."

Regina raised an eyebrow. "And how would you like me to explain your presence to my son in the morning?"

"Maybe I want to tell Henry that my car wouldn't start and I had no choice but to spend the night… in your _guest room_. He's a ten year old kid. He won't figure it out."

"He's smarter than you give him credit for."

Emma shrugged. "He's a kid who still believes fairy tales are real."

Regina stiffened at that comment. Fairy tales. Right. For a moment she's _almost_ forgotten who she was dealing with here.

"Sorry," Emma said, quietly. "I didn't mean anything by that."

Regina shook her head, realizing that Emma was mistaking her sudden change in body language as taking offense to her comment about Henry. "It's fine. Let's just have dinner, alright?"

Emma bit her lip and studied Regina's rigid stance. It was clearly _not_ fine, and Emma already knew she was walking a dangerous line. "I probably still believed in fairy tales when I was ten," Emma said, though she was quite sure that wasn't true.

Regina raised an eyebrow. "Probably?"

Emma shrugged. "I mean, I don't know… At ten I still believed my parents would come and find me, even though I knew they ditched me on the side of the road. Maybe I didn't _believe_, but maybe I still wanted to? I mean, if fairy tales are real then we all get happy endings, right?"

"Not everyone," Regina muttered, looking down at her plate.

"Isn't that how it's supposed to work?"

"Can we not talk about fairy tales?" Regina snapped, suddenly, taking Emma by surprise.

"Um, yeah. Okay. What should we talk about then?"

"This was a bad idea."

"Regina, please don't say that. It's awkward but it will get better," Emma insisted.

"I don't think so."

"You're right," Emma said, decisively, putting her fork down on her plate for emphasis. "This was a bad idea."

"It was your idea," Regina pointed out.

"Yeah, well, suddenly I like your idea a lot better."

"And what idea was that?" Regina asked, genuinely confused.

"The one that had me pinned up against the wall at your house," Emma said, with a wink.

In spite of everything, Regina couldn't help but smile. Still, she shook her head. "It's not what you want, Emma. Trust me. We've been down this road before."

"We have and we haven't," Emma replied with a shrug. "But all I know is we get along a lot better when we're sleeping together. You're right: this isn't us. And maybe I haven't changed as much as I thought. I didn't mean it when I said… what I said that night…"

"When you said you loved me?" Regina asked, but this time without any malice in her voice.

"Yeah. That. But we did have a connection, and even you can't deny that. Maybe we still have it," Emma suggested.

Regina nodded, taking it all in. "I guess there's only one way to know," she acknowledged. Her common sense was screaming at her to stop this now, and that if a date with the savior was a bad idea, then _sleeping_ with the savior was a million times worse.

But suddenly, Regina didn't care.

For eleven years, she had never been able to get Emma out of her head, and it was quite clear that Emma had no intention of voluntarily leaving her life.

She knew there was so way this could end well, but she was also well aware that something beyond her control and understanding had put it all into motion in the first place.

And maybe it was time to stop fighting back and just give in.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

* * *

"God, this is such a bad idea," Regina said, breathlessly, as she broke her lips away from Emma's neck momentarily.

They hadn't stayed at the restaurant much longer after Emma had admitted she wanted Regina to fuck her again, and once Regina had paid the babysitter and sent her on her way, like no time had passed at all, she had Emma pinned up against the wall in her front entryway, her hot mouth working her way from Emma's lips to her collarbone.

"Can you please stop saying that?" Emma pleaded, her voice strained with urgency. "You're killing the mood."

"Why do you have to be so goddamn irresistible?" Regina asked, as she found Emma's lips again while pushing her red leather jacket from her shoulders and down her arms, until it fell to the ground at her feet.

Emma chose not to answer, guessing it was likely rhetorical anyway, but she groaned her displeasure when Regina broke off their kiss to move her head back and look in her eyes.

"No one's ever had this kind of hold on me," Regina reminded her, yet again. "It's not fair."

Emma smirked. "Who gives a fuck about fair? Where's your bedroom?"

Regina raised an eyebrow. "We don't waste any time, do we, Miss Swan?"

"I've been waiting, what, nine years? It's about damn time."

"Agreed," Regina said, with a nod, taking Emma by the hand and pulling her toward the stairs. She stopped before taking the first step, and turned to look at Emma, seriously. "Please do keep in mind I have a child sleeping down the hall."

"I'll try to keep the screams of ecstasy to minimum," Emma said, with a cheeky grin, with earned her a glare from Regina. "Kidding. I'll be quiet."

Regina seemed to hesitate for a moment, before nodding and turning back to lead Emma up the stairs.

For her part, Emma gaped in awe of Regina's immaculate mansion. Over the years, she'd always imagined what Regina's house might look like, and it didn't disappoint. It was so completely _her_, and Emma couldn't get enough.

"Coming?"

"Hmm?" Emma asked, looking at Regina in surprise. She'd been too caught up to realize that Regina was now standing in the open doorway that led to her bedroom. "Oh, yeah."

Regina rolled her eyes and flicked on the light, leading Emma inside before closing the door tightly behind them, and locking it just in case. The last thing she needed was for Henry to get up in the night and accidentally find his mother in bed with his birthmother.

She closed her eyes and shook her head. "This is-"

"If you say 'a bad idea' one more time, I swear..."

Regina raised a playful eyebrow. "What will you do, Miss Swan? I'm the one with the chains and whips, remember?"

"You said you were kidding about that," Emma reminded her, though at this point, she wasn't even sure what to believe, as far as that went.

"I guess you'll have to wait and see."

Regina slid her hands under Emma's white tank top, fingers gliding over the firm muscles of her toned stomach, as her lips found the blonde's again. She hated to admit, even to herself, how much she'd missed Emma, but touching her again now was enough to quiet the voice in her head telling her to stop before everything was ruined.

Maybe it wouldn't be ruined afterall?

Maybe Emma felt just as drawn to her as she did to Emma, and maybe she wouldn't turn on her once the curse was inevitably broken. Maybe she wouldn't even break it at all.

She heard Emma let out a low moan she she slid her hands up to cup the blonde's breasts under her tank top, before pulling the flimsy garment off of her and throwing it to the floor. She moved her mouth downward, sucking on Emma's pulse point as she unclasped her black bra and threw that away as well.

Something about remaining fully clothed as she stripped Emma down felt empowering, and Regina eagerly moved her way down to take one of Emma's nipples into her mouth as she unzipped her black skirt and pushed that to the floor as well. Emma had seemed to one-up her in every aspect since she'd arrived in Storybrooke, but here, in her own bedroom, Regina finally had Emma fully at her mercy again, and she was revelling in it.

She thought about how maybe she should have done this the moment Emma arrived, as she slid her hand into Emma's underwear, her fingers quickly finding their way to Emma's wet folds.

"How much did you miss me?" Regina breathed, huskily, as she moved her mouth near Emma's ear again, and pushed her back onto the bed in a sitting position, her fingers never losing contact with Emma's wetness.

Emma closed her eyes, her breath hitching as Regina's fingers began working her clit, in slow circles.

"Did you dream about me?" Regina asked, as she pushed Emma onto her back and climbed on top of her, speeding up the motion of her fingers as she placed a kiss on Emma's earlobe. "Did you think about me while you were fucking other girls?"

"Always," Emma admitted, her voice a raspy whisper.

"Always?"

Emma nodded. "I was always looking for you."

Regina narrowed her eyes and studied Emma's face as she effortlessly slipped two fingers inside of her, and began pumping as she massaged Emma's clit with her thumb. The blonde was completely lost in the feeling, her eyes closed and all the hardness fading from her features as she gasped and then relaxed, over and over.

She didn't have a clue what was really going on, Regina knew. She was just content to be there, with her, completely oblivious to all the other powers at play in their lives. But, try as she might, Regina couldn't lose herself in the feeling. It wasn't like Portland or Tallahassee or anywhere else in between where they were just two people, living separate lives, finding pleasure in each other.

Everything was different now and Emma didn't have the fainted idea. Even as Emma let out a shuddering moan as she climaxed, Regina _still_ couldn't relax, and the agitation was clear on her face when Emma's eyes blinked back into focus.

"Sorry, was I too loud?" Emma asked, in a hushed voice, trying to guess what was causing the perplexed look on Regina's face.

Regina simply shook her head as she pulled her hand out of Emma's underwear. Emma whimpered at the sudden loss of contact, but Regina didn't seem to notice.

"Regina, you okay?" Emma asked, frowning as the other woman continued to stare at her with a distant look in her eyes.

"I'm fine," Regina snapped.

"Okay," Emma replied, nodding. She wasn't sure what was happening, but she was sure she knew how to make Regina feel better, regardless. "Well, then I guess it's your turn," she said, with a grin, as she reached her arms around Regina's back, to undo the zip on the back of her dress, as Regina still hovered above her.

Regina didn't protest, and even slipped her own arms out of the straps as Emma pushed the dress down, but there was still something a little off in her eyes.

"Regina, are you sure-"

"I'm fine!" Regina insisted again.

Emma swallowed, and nodded again. Regina seemed anything _but_ fine, but at the same time, she'd never known the woman to not be in control in the bedroom. If Regina wanted to stop, she was sure she would have stopped by now.

"I, uh, I learned some new tricks," Emma said, waggling her eyebrows up at Regina, hoping to break whatever funk the woman was currently in.

To her relief, Regina offered her a small smile. "Really? Care to show me?"

Emma smiled in relief, and nodded, as she reached up for Regina's shoulder, to roll the other woman onto her back. In her experience, though Regina rarely liked to be touched, she'd found the shoulders to be a safe place, and Regina didn't protest.

Emma positioned herself above Regina, but as she leaned down to kiss the brunette's neck, she felt her stiffen beneath her.

"Regina?"

"Get off me! Emma, please."

Regina's voice sounded strained, almost panicked, and Emma quickly climbed off of her, and watched as Regina pulled herself up, drawing her knees up to her chest and hugging them tightly to her. The woman was visibly shaking.

"Regina," Emma said, gently, and thought twice about reaching out to touch her, no matter how reassuring she was trying to be.

"Just go. Emma, please, go," Regina said, with a shaky voice, not looking up.

"I'm not leaving you during a panic attack," Emma insisted.

"I'm not having a panic attack!" Regina snapped, finally looking up to meet Emma's eyes.

"Okay," Emma said, softly, crossing her arms across her chest as she suddenly felt very vulnerable herself in her nearly naked state. "Well, you're upset and I'm not sure what I did."

Regina turned her eyes up to the ceiling for a moment, before meeting Emma's again. Her hard look was replaced with a pleading one, and for a moment, Emma wished she could just read her mind and figure out what was happening. Regina was so closed off to begin with, and Emma wasn't really sure how to break through to her.

Trying to be her friend hadn't worked, a date hadn't worked, and now sleeping together again _really_ hadn't worked, and Emma was at a loss for what to do. Part of her told her it was well past the time to cut her losses and walk away, but another, bigger, part of her insisted that right here, with Regina, was where she should be.

Everyone in Emma's life had left her when she needed them. She didn't want to be the person who did that to Regina.

"Just tell me what's going on," Emma said, finally. "We can't work past it, if I don't even know what it is."

"It's not you," Regina said, softly. "Well, it is. But it's not your fault."

Emma narrowed her eyes. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Regina breathed a heavy sigh. Maybe there really was no way around this. Emma would find out eventually, and whatever would happen, would happen. Regina was sick of waiting around for the other shoe to drop.

"Henry… his book… Emma, it's all true."

Emma breathed in a sharp breath. Of all things she'd expected Regina to say right now, this did not even come close to making the list.

"What?"

"Emma, I'm sorry. I didn't know who you were when I first met you. If I had, I would never… it doesn't matter. This just can't happen, do you see that? You're the Savior and I'm the Evil Queen and-"

"No," Emma said, shaking her head vehemently.

"Emma, I'm-"

"No," Emma said again, more firmly this time. "Just stop talking. This is… ugh!"

Emma stood up from the bed, quickly finding her skirt on the ground and pulling it on, before tracking down her bra and tank top.

"Emma," Regina tried again.

"No, it's fine. You want me to leave? Fine. But don't talk to me like I'm a fucking idiot, giving me some bullshit story about fairy tales."

"Emma, that's not what I'm doing," Regina insisted, staring in disbelief as Emma yanked her tank top back on.

"No, really, it's my fault," Emma said, with a shrug. "You wanted me to leave, I kept coming after you. I had this coming. No one ever wants me to stick around, I'm used to it. But using your kid's deluded beliefs to push me away, that's low, even for you, Regina. Or should I say, _your Majesty_."

"Em-"

"No! Do you know he even tried to convince me I had parents who wanted me? Do you know how hard that is to listen to? And then you… God, Regina, you were the first person in my life I ever trusted. I should have known nothing had changed. In fact, you _told_ me nothing had changed, but I was so wrapped up in you I didn't listen. I'm such a fucking idiot."

"You're not," Regina said, simply, though her voice had lost any strength it once had.

"No, I'm am. But don't worry. I'll get out of your life now, and the kid's life. I'll go back to Boston, tomorrow."

"You don't have to do that."

"No, I think I do," Emma said, nodding. "Don't lose any sleep over it, Regina. I know I won't."

Emma waited a moment, to see if Regina would say anything further, but the other woman just looked down and hugged her knees closer to her again. Emma shook her head and turned to leave. Every fibre of her being wanted to scream profanities and slam the door, but her common sense reminded her that there was, indeed, a child sleeping down the hall.

So she left quietly, grabbing her jacket on her way out the front door before heading out to her Bug. Once she was in the car, she finally let the tears start to fall.

She indulged in the tears for only a moment, before wiping her eyes and putting her Bug into drive, hoping that, at the very least, Mary Margaret wasn't up when she got home. She just wanted to pack up quietly and make a clean break, once and for all, just like Regina had told her to.

"God knows it's long overdue," Emma muttered to herself, though even as the words came out, she knew she was trying to convince herself that they were true.

She wasn't sure if she'd ever be free of Regina's hold on her, but she guessed she owed it to herself to try.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

* * *

"Mom? Are you up? I'm gonna be late for school!"

Regina shook her head and blinked her eyes open against the harsh light coming in through her bedroom window as she heard Henry banging on the door. "... What?" she muttered to herself, momentarily confused. She didn't even remember falling asleep, but she guessed she must have finally passed out after hours of replaying her conversation with Emma over in her head after the blonde had stormed out.

"Mom!" he yelled again, and Regina groaned.

"I'm coming Henry," she called back though the closed door. "Get breakfast. I'll be right down."

Regina could hear his footsteps heading away from the door as she pushed her duvet back and slid out of bed, still in nothing but her bra and panties, her dress from the evening before crumpled on the floor. It was times like this that she _really_ missed having magic, as she got herself changed and cleaned up as best she could on such a short time constraint.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd slept in, but it hadn't occurred to her to set her alarm the night before, as she'd been otherwise distracted. She couldn't believe that she'd actually blurted out to Emma that the curse was real and Henry's book was true, and on one hand, she thought she should feel relieved that Emma reacted the way she did.

But she didn't feel relieved.

"Mom!" Henry whined again, once Regina had made her way into the kitchen and had moved to turn the coffee machine on. "We don't have time for coffee! You've gotta drive me right now or I'm going to be late!"

Regina glanced at the clock. Henry was right; he had about ten minutes before the last bell. He'd never even come close to being late for school before, and suddenly Regina regretted instilling such punctuality in him at a young age. Any other child would have gladly waited for her to make her coffee if it meant a few more minutes before school.

"Alright, let's go," Regina said with a sigh, figuring she could just grab a coffee to go at Granny's after dropping him off.

As long as Emma wasn't there, she reasoned.

A few rushed minutes later, and they were in the car and on their way to Henry's school. Henry barely waited for the Mercedes to come to a full stop before he had the door open and was jumping out, dashing toward the school without so much as a good-bye. This is how he'd become lately, more interested in being at school - or anywhere else in the world, really - than being with her. She'd hoped it was just a phase, but with Emma's arrival it had only become worse.

Regina watched him for a moment, and turned her eyes back to the road ahead of her, about to leave the school when she heard a tapping on her driver's side window. She rolled her eyes and turned to see who it was.

"Hello, Miss Blanchard," Regina said, coolly, once she'd put her window down. A rough night and no coffee didn't exactly have her in the mood to deal with Snow White this morning. "What would you like?"

"Mayor Mills, hi, um…" Snow stammered.

Regina _really_ wasn't in the mood.

"Yes? Miss Blanchard? Is there something you would like or may I continue on my way?"

"No, no wait, just one second. Um… I was just wondering… you haven't talked to Emma this morning, have you?"

"Deputy Swan?" Regina asked, raising an eyebrow and trying to look utterly uninterested, though she could already feel a knot forming in her stomach. "Why on earth would I have talked to her?"

"Well… She said you two were having dinner last night," Snow began to explain, and Regina could tell by how red her cheeks were already that Emma had told Snow about a lot more than dinner.

Figures.

"Yes, well that was last night. What does that have to do with this morning?" Regina asked, figuring that Emma was probably back at Snow's apartment moping about their failed encounter from the night before.

"Well, you were the last person she was with, so I thought perhaps you might know what motivated her to pack up and leave town in the middle of the night last night. All I got was a note that said 'thanks for everything but I have to go.'"

Regina blanched. Emma had actually left town? She'd thought that was an empty threat. After all, wasn't she here for Henry? And she had gotten a job. She hadn't gotten a place of her own, but she had shown every other intention of staying.

"Oh. Well, she's a drifter," Regina offered by way of explanation, trying to school her features and not let her shock show on her face.

For her part, Snow looked absolutely devastated, but that's was hardly Regina's problem. She put her window back up without so much as a good-bye, and sped out of the parking lot, cursing Emma's name as she drove.

How could she do this? How the hell could she just up and leave Henry? In spite of everything, Regina had never expected Emma to just abandon him after forcing herself into his life.

Somewhere, deep in the back of Regina's brain, a small intrusive thought kept asking how could Emma do this to _her_, but Regina forced herself to ignore it, as she pulled back into her driveway, the coffee she'd meant to pick up at Granny's long forgotten.

She grabbed her phone from her purse as she stormed back into her house, quickly dialing Emma's number, only to be sent straight to voicemail. Regina continued into the kitchen and slammed the phone down on the counter, figuring that Emma had either turned hers off, or just blocked Regina's number.

But Regina's mind was already in overdrive, and she had another idea.

Taking the stairs two at a time, Regina rushed up to Henry's computer. He'd deleted his history but Emma had gotten it back, and Regina hoped the website he'd found Emma on was still somewhere in his email.

What she found, however, she hadn't expected. Henry must not have checked his email that morning, because waiting there on the screen was an unopened message from Emma.

Regina hesitated for just a moment, before clicking to open it.

_Hey Kid,_

_I know it sucks to do this in an e-mail but… I have to go. I have to get out of Storybrooke. This is your home, not mine, and the longer I stay here, the more screwed up everything is going to be._

_Just know that I'm glad I got to meet you and, your mom's not evil. She's just a mom trying her best. _

_You're a good kid, Henry, and I'll miss you, but this is for the best. I don't belong there and you already have a mother. You don't need me._

_If you want to e-mail me, you can, but you can't come back to Boston, because I really can't come back to Storybrooke with you._

_Emma_

Regina swallowed hard. She knew that Emma was bullshitting a reason to leave, since she couldn't exactly tell Henry it was because of her. If anything could make Henry actually hate her, she guessed it would be that.

Regina breathed a heavy sigh as she exited from the email, and clicked the box to mark it as unread. She was calmer now than when she'd first sat down at Henry's desk, but she still scrolled through the remaining messages, finding none from .

She didn't know whether to be disappointed or relieved.

Somehow, this felt final. Even when she'd stopped taking Emma's calls and had effectively removed herself from Emma's life, somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew she could cross paths with Emma again. She had to. Emma was the Savior, and there was nothing Regina could do to keep her from returning.

But this time, this was Emma's choice. She supposed the savior could abandon her post as savior, and there was not much anyone could do about that. The curse would remain intact, and life would go on as it always had, even if Regina felt like a part of her had just died.

* * *

"Mom!"

Henry's voice sounded panicked as he came running down the stairs; it was an entirely different kind of panicked than he'd sounded this morning, and Regina knew he's just read the email. She'd been anticipating this moment from the second he returned from school.

"What, Henry?" Regina asked, though she was sure her small smile didn't betray the loss in her own eyes. Either way, Henry appeared to be too devastated to notice any change in Regina's demeanor.

"Emma! She went back to Boston!" Henry cried.

Regina nodded slowly, trying to appear as if she was learning this information for the first time.

"I'm sorry, Henry."

"No you're not!" Henry snapped, taking Regina by surprise. "You've wanted her gone from the second she got here! Don't pretend you're not happy about it!"

"Henry! I would never be happy about something that upsets you," Regina insisted, reaching her hand out for Henry's shoulder, but he just shrugged away from her touch.

"Just leave me alone!"

Regina bit her lip as Henry turned and ran back up the stairs. Part of her wanted to throttle Emma for coming into his life just to leave again.

Part of her wanted to find Emma's address and drive to Boston herself, if only just to rip a strip off of her herself.

And part of her just wanted to find Emma.

Regina swallowed hard as the realization washed over her. Bickering with Emma had been fine when she'd been sure Emma would stick around, regardless. She had convinced herself she wanted Emma gone, and now that she was gone, she only wanted her back. The curse was meant to make everyone else miserable, but what was the point of protecting it if the Savior leaving town just made her miserable, herself.

Regina had a lifetime of things blowing up in her face that should have served as a warning to calm down and not act impulsively, but calmness and rationality had never been her strong point, and Henry had the information that she needed now. Without a second thought, she turned and headed up the stairs after Henry, swinging his door open without so much as a knock.

Surprised, Henry turned to her, wiping tears from his cheeks. "What?"

"How do I find Emma?"


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty One**

* * *

"What did you just say?" Henry asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion as he wiped tears from his cheeks.

"I said, how do I find Emma? You know where she lives."

"Why would I tell you that?" Henry demanded, his face twisting into a scowl. "Haven't you done enough to her?"

"Henry, I haven't…" Regina paused, sighing as she forced herself to remain calm instead of getting defensive. "I don't know what you think I've done to her, but Henry, I just want to talk to her. If she thinks she's unwelcome here and it's because of me then-"

"Of course it's because of you!" Henry spat. "You only hurt everyone! It's all you know how to do!"

"I know," Regina said, quietly, looking down. She knew it wasn't worth fighting anymore because Henry was right.

"What?" Henry asked, staring at Regina in bewilderment.

Regina swallowed hard, and stepped over to sit on the corner of Henry's bed. "You're right. For a long time, all I've known how to do is hurt people. But you, Henry, you've changed me in ways you can't understand. And I know I've hurt you. And Emma. And I need a chance to make things right."

Henry sniffled, frowning as he tried to assess the sincerity of Regina's words. "How do I know this isn't a trick?"

Regina sighed. She hadn't expected this to be so difficult, but Henry was smart - and stubborn - and she knew there was only one thing left to do. "You're right about everything, Henry."

"What are you talking about?" Henry's voice betrayed his nervousness, and Regina knew the last thing on earth he expected from her right now was for her to come clean.

"The book. The curse. It is true, Henry. I shouldn't… I shouldn't have lied to you. I shouldn't have done a lot of things, but Henry, you have to understand how frightened I've been. I… I just wanted a chance at happiness."

"And you thought cursing everyone and taking away their happy endings was the answer?"

"At the time? Yes. I didn't care about anyone else. I didn't think I was capable of caring about anyone else since… well, it's not important right now, but the point is, I can't continue to hurt you. And I have to make things right with Emma."

"She's the savior. She'll break your curse," Henry pointed out.

"I don't care about that anymore. The curse didn't bring me happiness, Henry. You did. I understand that now, and I can't lose you. So I have to do the right thing for once. And I need your help."

Henry chewed on his bottom lip as he debated for a moment, before rolling off of his bed and slipping his hand between the mattress and the boxspring, pulling out a slip of lined paper and handing it to Regina. "That's her address," Henry explained, looking optimistically at Regina. "When do we leave."

Regina shook her head. "I have to do this alone, Henry. I'm going to call Mary Margaret and see if you can stay with her."

"You want me to stay with Snow White?"

Regina nodded tensely, knowing that if she did bring Emma back and Emma did break the curse, that was likely where Henry was going to end up anyway when they came for her. But she hoped it didn't come down to that.

* * *

Regina stood nervously in front of Mary Margaret's door, Henry beside her looking excited with his bag packed for the weekend. Regina wasn't really sure how long she'd be gone, but she'd already told Mary Margaret that Henry had a key to the mansion if he needed more clothes.

Of course, his teacher had been thrilled at the idea of Henry spending the weekend there, and even though Regina knew she remembered nothing of their past together, she still felt like she was crawling back with her tail between her legs, begging for a favour from the woman she despised.

"Henry!" Mary Margaret greeted excitedly, as she opened the door to her apartment. Her eyes bounced from the boy to his mother. "Mayor Mills, would you like to come in."

"No. I want to get on the road as soon as possible. Boston's a bit of a drive."

"Of course. And you have my number."

Regina nodded absently, her attention already back on Henry. "I want you to behave yourself for Miss Blanchard, Henry. I promise I will call."

Henry gave a small smile, before unexpectedly throwing his arms around Regina's waist in a tight hug. "Okay, Mom. I love you."

"I love you too, Henry."

Regina swallowed back her emotions as she watched Henry go into the apartment, and Mary Margaret close the door behind them. A big part of her wondered if she'd ever get him back after this, but that part, for once, was silenced by Henry's words replaying in her mind. For quite some time now, she'd wondered if Henry would be lost to her, but his 'I love you' gave her a glimmer of hope that she might be able to find a way to make this work.

Years before, she'd briefly imagined a life with Emma and Henry, but it had seemed like an impossibility at the time. Now, she considered that it could have happened if she'd let it. Perhaps it wasn't too late.

* * *

The drive to Boston was a long one. Regina hadn't made this trip by car since Henry was an infant, and it had been years since she'd been there at all. Still, she knew the main part of the city well enough that it didn't take her long to find Emma's building once she was there. She found a parking spot not far from the entrance, and took a deep steadying breath as the got out of her car.

Never once in all of their cross country meetings had Regina actually sought Emma out like this. They'd surprised each other more than once, but this was different and she wasn't sure how Emma was going to react. She knew the other woman was already mad, and hurt, and she'd tried to call more than once along the way to give her a heads up, but it had always gone straight to voicemail and Regina had always opted not to leave a message.

What would she say, anyway? She knew there was a good chance that if Emma knew she was coming, she would make a point of not being at home, so perhaps it was better this way.

Once she made in inside the main entryway, Regina faltered at the panel of apartment buzzers. She hadn't considered controlled entry, and she wondered what the odds were that Emma would let her up at all. Momentarily, she considered buzzing another unit and pretending to be a tenant who'd locked herself out, but, for once, fate smiled down on her as she an elderly lady approached the entryway, grocery bags in both her arms.

"Oh! Let me help you," Regina offered, sweetly, holding out her hands to lighten the other woman's load. The older woman smiled gratefully as she handed off the bags and reached for her key in her purse.

_No wonder Henry's so good at this_, Regina thought to herself, as she followed the woman inside, bypassing the controlled entry all together and wondering if Henry had tried a similar approach when he'd first come to Boston himself.

Once she'd followed the old lady to her apartment, deposited the groceries on her counter top and politely refused her offer to stay for tea, Regina set off to find Emma's apartment. It was two floors up from where she was now, but the elevator ride still felt like an eternity as Regina felt her nerves threatening to get the best of her. There was nothing she disliked more than being out of her element and not in control of any given situation, and currently, she was both.

But still, she had to try.

She took a few more steadying breaths outside what, according to Henry's directions, was Emma's door, and then she knocked.

For several long moments, she heard nothing from inside the apartment, and she began to wonder if Emma really wasn't there after all. Perhaps she hadn't even gone back to Boston and had gone someplace else entirely? Regina hadn't seen her Bug anywhere while parking her Mercedes, but she'd assumed the building had underground parking someplace.

She was about to turn and leave when she finally heard shuffling inside the apartment, and someone was approaching the door. She heard the click of the lock, and Emma's voice from inside as the door swung open.

"Henry, I swear if that's you out there I-" Emma stopped mid-sentence when she saw who was on the other side. "Oh."

Regina opened her mouth to speak, but found herself unable to find any words as she looked at Emma. She had lipstick smeared on her jaw and neck, and she had clearly just thrown on the oversized t-shirt she was wearing. Her legs were bare and her hair was a disheveled and it wasn't hard for Regina to put the pieces together.

"I take it this is a bad time," Regina said, much quieter than she'd meant to.

"Yeah, I'm a little busy," Emma said, leaning back against the door frame and crossing her arms on front of her. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"You would answer the door for Henry looking like that?" Regina asked, before she could stop herself.

Emma looked confused, and wobbled a little as she uncrossed her arms and tried to pull her t-shirt down a little lower.

"And you're drunk," Regina assessed.

"What… what the fuck, Regina? You drove here from Storybrooke to lecture me on my life choices? I left. Didn't that send a clear enough signal that I'm done with you."

"We're not done, Emma. We need to talk. I didn't come here to lecture you. I came here to apologize."

Emma snorted and shook her head. "It's a little late for that, I think."

"Please don't say that. I know I hurt you and I'm trying to make things right."

"Please. You didn't hurt me. I just thought you could be something you clearly can't. But, I mean, you told me you didn't want a relationship right from the start, so that's on me, I guess."

"Emma, it's… Henry misses you," Regina attempted, hoping to strike a cord there. Anything to get Emma to talk to her.

"That's low, even for you."

"It's the truth."

Emma swallowed hard and looked up at the ceiling, biting on her lip as the took a moment to think. Finally, she sighed and looked back at Regina. "You're right, I'm a little drunk. And I have someone waiting for me in my bedroom. And I _really_ hope I don't regret this come tomorrow, but… if you're planning on staying in Boston tonight, you can come back in the morning. She'll be gone and I'll be sober and we can talk. About Henry. That's it."

Regina nodded. "Okay. About Henry. Tomorrow morning," she agreed. It wasn't what she wanted, but it was a start. For now, opening the lines of communication would have to be enough.

Regina was about to ask what time, when Emma simply turned and shut the door.

She breathed a heavy sigh. It wasn't how she'd planned on this going at all, but there was a glimmer of hope and she had to go with it. All she could do now was find a room for the night, call Henry, and try to get some sleep before morning.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she almost had to laugh at the irony that she was now chasing the woman she could have had at any point during the last ten years, and had rejected over and over. It was becoming increasingly apparent to her that her happy ending might not be eluding her simply because of fate. No, she was sure now that it was her own self-sabotage getting in the way every time.

But it wasn't too late. She was sure, it wasn't.

It couldn't be.

* * *

**To be continued…**

**And, for all those who don't know, you can find me on Tumblr as rowark-sq **

**Come say hi and be my friend… send me asks about my fics and/or prompts. Or don't. It's up to you lol.**

**Until next time...**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty Two**

* * *

To say it was an uneasy night for Regina would have been an understatement. Once she'd found a nearby hotel for the evening, and called to say goodnight to Henry, she found she couldn't relax and she couldn't get her mind off of Emma.

There had been a time in her life when she felt like she spent more time travelling an in hotels than she did at home, and there had been a time when she didn't mind that. There had been a time when travelling and hotel rooms meant a rendezvous with Emma, and she really didn't mind that.

Now, however, in this hotel room, she was acutely aware of just how lonely she was. She'd thought adopting Henry would be the answer, and while he was the light of her life and she'd never trade him for anything, she was becoming more and more aware that there was more that she needed. Henry, alone, wasn't enough to fill the hole in her heart, as much as she'd hoped he would be.

And it made sense, really, she knew. That emptiness was the price she paid for the curse, and when you cast the curse to end all curses, the price has to be steep. Adopting Henry was a start, but it wasn't enough because it was too easy. Loving him was too easy and it came as natural to her as breathing. But it wasn't enough to make her change, not fully. She could keep the curse and keep her anger and her revenge _and_ love Henry all at the same time.

She'd have to give her death grip on those things up if she wanted to love Emma.

But she had to wonder if it was too late for that now. Emma had chased her for years, and even continued to pursue her in Storybrooke, and Regina had to wonder how many times you could reject a person before they gave up on you entirely. She hadn't expected to find Emma with another woman tonight, but she also had never expected Emma to run back to Boston. She couldn't even bring herself to feel jealous, since she knew she was the one who had driven Emma to it in the first place.

Who was she to question how Emma sought solace when it was her to she was seeking an escape from in the first place?

It also occurred to Regina then that in all her years of knowing Emma, she really hadn't learned anything about her. She hadn't wanted to take on another person's baggage, and now she has to wonder if she, herself, had just become more baggage for Emma to lug around with her.

* * *

It was a little after 2am when Emma woke up the woman sleeping next to her and asked her to leave. She's picked her up in a nearby bar, and she couldn't quite remember her name… Courtney? Caitlin? It didn't matter really. The only thing that mattered is she wasn't Regina and she was the furthest thing from Regina and someone who was definitely not anything like Regina was exactly what Emma thought she needed to keep her mind off of Regina.

Until Regina had shown up, of course.

Emma hated the way her heart had skipped a beat when she'd opened the door to see Regina standing there. She really hadn't expected her to chase her all the way to Boston. Admittedly, it wasn't _that_ far, but for Regina to chase her down at all, Emma thought that must be significant.

And she wished she could get that idea out of her head.

By 3am she was still awake, pacing the floor of her apartment, wondering if she'd made a mistake telling Regina she could come back in the morning. Her incessant pacing was sobering her up, and the more she thought about it, it began to occur to her that she'd never even found out what Regina wanted. What if she wasn't chasing her at all? What if this was only about Henry?

Of course it was about Henry, Emma reasoned. She'd up and left out of the blue and she was sure the kid wouldn't stop pestering Regina about it. When she'd ignored Regina's calls, she must have gotten frustrated enough to get in her car and track her down herself. She guessed she'd left the kid at home just in case she found Emma in the exact state she'd found her in.

She wondered if Regina was jealous. She wondered if she had even stayed in Boston, and if she really would come back in the morning. It would be entirely like her to get back in her car and drive straight home, and forget she'd ever met Emma in the first place, and Emma wondered what _she_ would do if that were the case.

Something about Regina had always been so compelling to her. Something Emma couldn't put her finger on, but she knew she'd been telling the truth when she'd told Regina she was always looking for her. She really was, in every woman she met. And when she was angry, she looked for someone who was Regina's polar opposite because she thought that was the answer, but deep down she knew, even _that_ came back to Regina.

Somehow, her life always came back to Regina.

And she didn't know what to do with that.

* * *

By the time morning came, Regina knew she didn't get nearly as much sleep as she'd likely need to get through this conversation with Emma. She'd prefaced it with talking about Henry, but there was so much more she knew needed to come out in the open, and she wasn't sure how she was going to manage that. Honesty and openness had never been her strong points, and she was quite sure Emma had nearly enough emotional baggage to rival her own.

She was sure this was going to get messy.

Still, after a decidedly awful Americano with a double shot of espresso at a little hole in the wall coffee shop she'd found near her hotel, Regina was back in her car and back on her way to Emma's apartment, again. She found herself in autopilot as she found a spot to park and made her way back to the entrance, opting to buzz Emma's apartment this time.

Emma didn't answer, but Regina took the click of the lock to mean she was still invited - well, invited was a strong word, she supposed - and she took a deep breath and made her way inside.

In the elevator on the way up to Emma's floor, Regina couldn't help the small smile creeping up at the corner of her mouth as she remembered a more eventful elevator trip with Emma, years ago. They really had had some good times, she had to admit, and she wondered what might have happened if Emma had turned out to be literally anyone else in the entire world.

But she knew that was a dangerous line of thinking. What ifs had gotten her in trouble before, and now she knew better. If she was going to face Emma, it would be as herself, the Evil Queen facing the Savior, asking if there was even a shred of a chance.

Regina chewed nervously on her bottom lip as she knocked on Emma's door. It was only a few moments before the door swung open as it had the night before, but she was greeted by a much different Emma this time. Emma looked more somber, definitely sobered up, dressed in jeans and a white tank top, her hair brushed. Regina suddenly felt overdressed in her black pantsuit and dark red blouse, but that was always the way it was with them, she remembered.

"Hi," Regina said, tentatively. She was never one to be caught off-balance, but right now she felt completely lost and unable to find her centre. She wasn't in control right now, and that always left her feeling a little agitated and uneasy.

Emma stared at her a moment, and Regina couldn't read the expression in her eyes. Emma looked tired, but more tired than just a rough night's sleep. She looked worn down and defeated. Regina had never seen her like this, and she knew she was the one who'd caused it.

"You want to talk about Henry," Emma said, as she stepped back and let Regina inside her apartment.

Regina took a moment to look around, taking in the space that was simultaneously so impersonal and so Emma, all at the same time. It was simple, and nicely decorated though nothing seemed to speak to Emma's tastes or personality, as far as Regina knew. She supposed that made sense for a woman who never stayed in one place long. She guessed Emma never grew too attached to anything.

"I want to… talk, yes," Regina said, inwardly kicking herself for how she was stumbling over her words.

"About Henry," Emma repeated, taking a seat on her couch and motioning for Regina to do the same.

"No."

Emma nodded, and looked unfazed. Regina guessed she must have figured it was more than Henry that would have driven her to make this trip, and spend the night in Boston.

"Talk, then," Emma said, not quite able to meet Regina's eyes with her own.

Regina swallowed in an attempt to quell her nerves. Emma wasn't making this easy, but she supposed she didn't really have a right to expect her to, after how she'd treated her. For years. She took a deep breath, and started. "Emma, everything I said that night was true-"

"Regina," Emma cut her off, already exasperated, shaking her head. "Don't do this. Don't tell me you came all the way out here to try to convince me of this fairy tale bullshit."

"Why would I come here if it weren't true, Emma?"

"I don't know, to make sure I'm really gone? Guess what, I am. I have no intention of coming back to Storybrooke so you can just forget about me and move on with your life, alright? You've made your point. I get it."

"Well, Emma, the thing is… I _can't_ forget about you. I've tried."

"That's not my problem."

"Emma, please. You know as well as I do that there's something here."

Emma shrugged, though she still refused to make eye contact. "There might have been. You made pretty damn sure to stamp it out, though."

"I know. And I… there's a lot of things I regret, Emma, but you have to understand-"

"Understand what? That you were never interested in anything but sex from me? Yeah, I got the message."

"Can I finish?"

"You don't need to. You made it clear and I just didn't listen. I kept coming back because I was stupid."

"You're not stupid, Emma."

"No, you're right, I'm not. What I was, was young and naive and inexperienced. I was a fucking teeanger for fuck's sake. And you were elegant and classy and mysterious and out of every single person in the bar that night, you picked me and I… how could you expect me not to get attached?"

"Emma, I…"

"What, Regina? You what? You wanted to talk, so talk. Tell me what the hell you were thinking that night?"

"You want to know the honest truth? I was thinking you looked like an easy target. I was thinking that you were there, alone, looking lost and vulnerable, and it wouldn't be all that hard to get you to go to bed with me."

For the first time, Emma met Regina's eyes, and she gaped at her for a moment before shaking her head in disbelief. "... _what?_"

"You wanted the truth, Emma, and that's the truth. That's what I saw from across the bar that night. That's what made me approach you."

"So I was, what then? Some sort of… mark, to you?"

"For lack of a better word, yes. That's what I did back then, Emma. I travelled a lot and I met a lot of people. You knew that."

"Yeah, but… I thought I was different."

"You were," Regina admitted, prompting Emma to meet her eyes again. "You changed everything, Emma. I stopped what I was doing because I only wanted to see you. I told you you had some sort of hold on me. I didn't understand it… I don't really, still… but it's… it has to be more than the curse."

Emma drew in a deep breath and rolled her eyes up to the ceiling, shaking her head slowly, laughing mirthlessly to herself. "Just when I thought this conversation might actually go somewhere."

"It's going somewhere, Emma. But sooner or later you're going to have to accept the truth of who you are. And who I am."

"No, I don't think I do. The thing is, I don't have to do anything. I can just stay here and forget I ever knew you. I have a good job, I'm young, I can have a life. Without you."

"But you don't want that."

"Well, I certainly don't want _this_!"

"So, tell me what you do want, then."

Emma hesitated for just a moment. Regina wasn't sure if perhaps Emma wasn't quite as sober as she'd thought, but instead of a verbal answer, Emma all but pounced on her, pushing her back against the arm of the couch as her lips crashed against her own.

Within seconds, Emma's body was on top of her, and Regina could feel her pulse quickening as panic started to set in. Emma's mouth had moved to her neck and though she tried to tell herself this was just _Emma_ and _Emma_ wouldn't hurt her, all she could focus on was the complete and utter suffocation she felt being pinned under Emma's strong body.

She couldn't seem to bring herself to speak until she felt Emma's hands find her wrists, grabbing them tight and lifting them to pin them above her head. It was a move she was sure Emma had learned from her in the first place, but it was enough for her to find her voice and cry out, "stop!"

* * *

**To be continued…**

**We've reached the point where it's all going to come to a head. This was actually the first scene I planned out when I was plotting this story, and it what everything else has been leading up to. I know you guys hate when I leave it on a cliffhanger, but I will make it up to you in the next chapter! I decided to split it up because I really want to make sure I do justice to the next part, but I didn't want to make you wait too long, so I'm giving you this part now ;)**

**Thanks to everyone who's been following this journey with me! I'm not sure how long this story will end up being, but I *think* it's past the halfway point at this point. Still a lot of resolution to work though, clearly!**

**Also, for everyone who's interested, you can find me on tumblr as rowark-sq :)**

**Until next time! (Which hopefully will be very soon! My hand is getting better now which makes it MUCH easier to actually type!)**


	23. Chapter 23

_**TW: for mentions of marital rape in this chapter**_

* * *

**Chapter Twenty Three**

* * *

"Stop!"

Regina's outcry was enough to snap Emma out of it and back to reality. Her heart was pounding loudly in her ears, and she was panting and breathless, but her eyes snapped open and met Regina's as she pulled her head back.

For a brief moment, she just stared. What she saw in Regina's eyes hit her like a punch to the gut. She'd seen this look before, on Regina's porch, when she'd grabbed her arm without thinking. Regina's brown eyes were watery and panicked, and Emma was sure this was the only true emotion she'd ever really seen from the woman. Usually, Regina was so guarded, so schooled in her features and expressions that whatever was going on below the surface never really showed, other than in split-second fragments.

But this, right now, this was different. Regina wasn't guarded and Emma knew she was seeing raw emotion pouring through the cracks in Regina's polished exterior. It took another moment for Emma to come fully back to her senses and become fully aware that she was still gripping Regina's wrists.

She let go, and started to push herself up with her forearms that were barely holding any of her weight off of Regina as they rested on the arm of the couch. As hurt as she was, as angry as she was, deep down she knew she still didn't really want to hurt Regina back - and certainly not like this.

"I'm sorry," Emma said as she pushed herself upward, lifting her body weight off of Regina and hearing the woman below her draw in a quick gasping breath. To her surprise, Regina grabbed her by the shoulders at stopped her, her dark eyes imploring Emma in a way she'd never experienced from her before.

"I was married once," Regina said, quietly.

"I… know," Emma replied, relaxing slightly as she saw the panic start to dissipate from Regina's face. "You told me."

"No… you don't know anything," Regina said, sighing as she closed her eyes a moment before pushing Emma's shoulders back gently so that she could shimmy herself upwards and back into a sitting position. Emma took it as a cue to back up and give her some space.

"Okay. So tell me, then. I mean… if you want to."

Regina nodded. "I think it's time."

Emma chewed on her lip as she watched the emotions changing on Regina's face. She could tell the other woman was trying hard to keep her expression neutral, but whatever demons she was fighting below the surface now were winning, for the moment.

"It was… a long time ago, and I was very young. I was eighteen, so older than you were when we first met, but younger in a lot of ways. My mother kept me very sheltered, until the day she sold me off into marriage."

"Sold… you?" Emma asked, scrunching her face in equal parts confusion and disgust.

"Essentially, yes. He was… much older than me. Older than my father by a few years, and he… oh, Emma, I don't know how I'm supposed to make you understand this when you won't even believe me."

Emma swallowed. "Because I don't believe you about this curse?"

"I come from a different world, Emma, and if you can't believe that, then you're not going to believe any of this."

Emma drew in a breath, studying Regina's face as she did. On one hand, she was sure Regina had to know what asking her to believe something as crazy as this curse was just that: crazy. But on the other hand, Emma wasn't getting any signals that Regina was lying, which meant she, at the very least, believed what she was saying. Whether it was true or not, Emma knew Regina needed to get whatever this was out of her, and she also knew, from her short time in Storybrooke, that Regina had no one else to confide in. It had to be her.

"I could… I could try," Emma offered. She wasn't really sure she could try to make herself believe, but she was sure she could at least pretend to, for Regina's sake.

Regina nodded again, though her expression didn't change, and Emma had to wonder if she knew she wasn't all that committed to trying to believe. "Alright," Regina said, turning her eyes down to her own hands as she continued her story. "The man, my… husband, he was the King."

Regina paused and glanced up at Emma, attempting to assess her reaction to that statement.

"Okay," Emma said, nodding.

"Yes, okay," Regina sighed, nodding as well. "He, um… well, my mother orchestrated the whole thing. She used… magic to create a situation in which I would have to save the King's daughter."

"Snow White," Emma said. "Mary Margaret."

"Yes. She was ten at the time, and her mother had died, and the King was looking for a new wife to become her step-mother."

"And your mother set it up so that he'd find you?"

"Yes. So that I could become Queen. There was… needless to say, I young and I didn't want to marry a man old enough to be my father, King or not. I didn't want to be Queen, that was just what my mother wanted for me ever since I was born. It's the reason she named me Regina."

Emma nodded. As much as she wanted to hold on to her disbelief, the emotion on Regina's face seemed to raw and real to be rehearsed, and she was also sure that she'd glossed over something in her story already, though she wasn't sure what could be so much worse than what she was already saying, that she'd opted to leave it out.

"The King came to ask for my hand in marriage, and my mother accepted on my behalf. I didn't want it. I wanted to run - I _tried_ to run - but she had magic and she made it impossible. I was a prisoner in the Kingdom and even moreso in the palace."

"The King kept you locked up?"

Regina shrugged. "He didn't have to. He owned me, Emma, plain and simple, especially in the beginning. I was so young and so inexperienced and innocent, even, and he was a lonely old man with a shiny new plaything. I'm sure you can connect the dots."

"He raped you."

Regina inhaled sharply at Emma's words. "I've never… I've never called it that. It didn't… the concept of marital... _rape_... didn't exist there. It was just what was expected of a wife. A woman didn't deny her husband she certainly didn't deny the King. I never fought back but he used to hold me down anyway. He had all the power and I was nothing and I think he got off on that."

"And that's why you don't like being touched."

"I don't like… giving up control. Please understand how difficult it is for me to tell you this, Emma. I've never told anyone about any of this, but… it doesn't matter that I know you wouldn't hurt me like that. It doesn't matter that, even after everything, I trust you to stop if I say stop. It's not enough because if you touch me like that, if you pin me down, suddenly, you're not you anymore. I'm not me and I'm not here, I'm that girl again, in that palace again, in his bed and I… I…"

Regina's voice was lost as the tears started to fall, fast and hard. Within seconds, her shoulders were shaking and she was hugging her arms tightly around herself and Emma knew she'd been holding this in for an eternity already. She was sure she'd really only barely scratched the surface of everything she'd gone through, and it was already too much.

Emma's initial impulse was to reach out for her, wrap her tightly in her arms and tell her she was safe, but she worried that would do more damage than good at this moment. Given what she had just confessed, Emma knew she had to let Regina call the shots on this one.

"Regina…"

Before Emma could even ask what Regina wanted her to do, Regina moved to unwrap her arms from herself, and wrapped them around Emma instead, all but falling onto Emma as she did so. She squeezed her tight, her forehead nestling in against Emma's collarbone as sobs wracked her body.

Emma hesitated for a moment, before snaking her own arms around Regina, and resting her cheek against Regina's hair. "Is this okay?"

Regina nodded against her chest and let out a long shaky sigh as she started to relax, albeit it just a little. Emma took it as a cue to hold her a little tighter, stroking one hand up and down her back, hoping that it might offer at least a little comfort.

"I've got you," Emma said, as Regina's sobs began to let up a little. "It's okay. You're safe."

She hoped it helped, but her head was spinning with the new information. The thought crossed her mind that if Henry were right, and Regina were telling the truth that the curse was real, then she'd been living with this pain and this secret for twenty-eight years in Storybrooke, on top of all the rest of the time in the Enchanted Forest, where Henry had insisted they were all from.

Curse or not, Regina's emotions were real, and Emma had to start to wonder if there really were worlds other than her own - places with magic where fairy tales were real. It seemed absurd, and yet, here she was holding the so-called 'Evil Queen' as she clung to her and cried about her past. There was no way Regina was this good of an actress, Emma was sure.

As she held on to Regina, and continued to whisper a constant string of reassurances to her, she thought about what it must have been like for her to come to this world, and learn that what happened to her was not okay. She wondered what it must have been like to learn that, and have no one to talk to about it. It was no wonder to her now that Regina had just pushed it down, and no surprise that she was so opposed to letting anyone get close to her.

"I'm sorry." Regina's voice came out choked as she lifted her head from Emma's chest, drawing Emma back from her thoughts. She didn't go far though, as she let her head fall again onto Emma's shoulder, clearly exhausted.

"Don't be sorry. I'm glad you told me," Emma insisted, as she raised a hand to brush Regina's hair back from her face, and then wiped away what she could of her tears with her fingers.

Regina nodded absently against Emma's shoulder, and Emma could tell she was likely about to fall asleep right there. She could only guess that Regina had gotten as little sleep as she had the night before, and she'd just cried herself into utter exhaustion.

"I've never told anyone before," Regina reiterated in a hoarse whisper. "I should have known it would be you."

Emma didn't ask what Regina meant by that, as she listened to her to breathing even out and realized she was right, and Regina had fallen asleep against her. She smiled absently to herself remembering the time Regina had warned her not to fall asleep on her in the bathtub. They'd come so far since then and Emma couldn't help but think maybe this morning, as terrible as it had been for Regina, was something that needed to happen.

Whether or not she believed in the curse, she couldn't deny that something - some force beyond her control - seemed to be keeping her life and Regina's on a collision course with each other.

For once, it seemed to her like they might actually be on the same page for the first time. And maybe it was time to stop fighting it.

* * *

**AN: I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone who's been following this story so far! I have over 1000 follows, which is so unreal! There's still several chapters more to come, I'm not sure just how many, but there's still more of this story to tell!**

**And, as always, you can find me on tumblr as rowark-sq if you so choose :)**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty Four**

* * *

In her sleep, it didn't take long for Regina to become dead weight against Emma's body. Emma shimmied her way out from under her carefully, repositioning Regina onto the cushion below her as she slid off the couch quietly. She watched Regina for a moment, making sure that she really was still sleeping, before tiptoeing across the room to where her laptop sat open on her desk.

She sighed as she fired it up, feeling slightly guilty for what she was about to do, but she had to know the truth. Either Regina was suffering some sort of break from reality, or everything Henry had said about the curse was real, and Emma figured a quick background search might help clear things up.

To her dismay, however, a search of Regina's name didn't pull up much of anything, other than a few flight records and Henry's adoption certificate. No birth certificate, no prior addresses, no family on record…

Emma cocked her head to the side as she noticed something peculiar; there were no records of _anything_ prior to 1983. She chewed her lip nervously as her fingers hovered above her keyboard. She debated for just a moment, before typing in Mary Margaret's name.

Nothing.

Emma shook her head in disbelief. Her software was some of the best in the industry of finding people, and never once had she had a name pull up no results whatsoever. The only possible explanation was, Mary Margaret Blanchard was a fake name.

Quickly, Emma began plugging more names into the search bar: Ruby Lucas, Graham Humbert, Kathryn Nolan… and every one turned up nothing. There was no way everyone in Storybrooke was living under an alias.

Unless they didn't exist.

Emma felt a knot forming in her stomach as the realization set in. No one in that town existed; at least not _here_, in the real world. She remembered that Henry had said no one could come or go, save for himself or her… and apparently Regina, and the rest of them were living in a daze. Cursed. And trapped.

Emma drummed her fingers nervously on the keyboard. As ridiculous as the curse and magic and the Enchanted Forest might be, she couldn't come up with another reasonable explanation.

She sighed, and decided to run a different search. She attempted to access Storybrooke's records, only to find that, according to her software, Storybrooke didn't exist, either. That made no sense. She'd _been_ there. How could it not exist?

Emma was frantic as she closed out of her software and got on Google instead - searching names, searching addresses, finding nothing - until she was startled by Regina's voice behind her.

"What are you doing?"

Emma nearly jumped out of her skin, before spinning around. Regina was standing a few feet away, looking a little groggy and her face still red and a little puffy from crying, and Emma stared at her with wide eyes. "None of it's real."

"What?"

The hurt in Regina's voice wasn't lost on Emma, as she realized that she must think Emma was referring to what she'd told her her earlier. Quickly, she continued. "Storybrooke. Everyone in it. They don't exist. They… how could they not exist?"

Regina sighed and gave Emma a look that almost appeared sympathetic. "I think you know how," she said, softy.

"Fairy tales? Seriously?"

Regina shrugged. "Is it really that hard to believe?"

"That you're some sort of… Evil Queen? Yes!"

"It was your mother who made me that way, you know. Well, among others, I suppose."

"My mother. Mary Margaret? The woman I've been rooming with who is the same age as me?"

"Time hasn't moved since the curse was enacted. It didn't move until you arrived in Storybrooke. The clock wasn't broken, it was the curse."

"Time didn't move," Emma repeated, nodding slowly. "That's why you haven't aged. I thought… well, I thought you must age well, obviously, and I thought maybe I wasn't remembering you quite right since there was… a bit of alcohol involved but… you haven't aged."

"I haven't aged," Regina admitted. "Physically, I mean. I was thirty four when we first met and…"

"You went from twice my age to being only six years older than me. You can see why this is hard for me to wrap my head around, right?"

Regina shrugged again, half-heartedly. "I grew up in a world where magic and fairies and curses are real. I'm not so fazed by these sorts of things."

"Right… okay so what now? I'm some sort of… savior? So, what? Henry said I'm supposed to fight some epic final battle."

"I don't know how the curse is broken," Regina admitted, sitting back down on the arm of the couch behind her and fidgeting with her hands in her lap. "Rumple never felt the need to explain that part."

"Rumple?"

"Stiltskin. Gold."

"Oh," Emma breathed, nodding slowly. "Henry couldn't figure out who Gold was."

"I suppose if you're meant to fight a battle, it's going to be to defeat me."

"Jesus, Regina… I'm not going to fight you."

"You might not have a choice."

"Oh. So… is that the real reason, then?"

Regina shook her head in confusion. "The real reason for what?"

"For… everything. Have you known this whole time? Since we first met?"

Regina shook her head quickly. "No… that… that first morning, I thought you reminded me of someone, but I just couldn't place it. There was something so… familiar about you. And you know I was drawn to you. I am drawn to you. Our lives were destined to become intertwined, but back then, I didn't know that."

Emma nodded. "So… you didn't know until Henry brought me to Storybrooke, then?"

Regina swallowed. "I guessed it, a little before then. Do you remember your twenty fifth birthday?"

"Yeah. I ran into you in a restaurant in Boston."

Regina nodded. "You were so… upset with me. Angry, even. I'd never seen that look on your face before, and that's when I saw it. You look like your mother, you know. And your father."

"David Nolan?" Emma asked, remembering the man in the coma who'd just woken up one day, just like that. Henry insisted he was really Prince Charming.

"Mm-hmm," Regina said, looking down guiltily.

"So… you figured it out when I was twenty five. That means you really did stop seeing me because…"

"Because you said you loved me," Regina finished for her. "Emma, I know you didn't mean it, or at least that you didn't think you did. You were nearly asleep and you had no idea what you were saying but… it came from somewhere and it was never supposed to get that far."

"Because you didn't feel the same. You don't."

"No, Emma, it's not that. I don't… people aren't supposed to love me. I'm not good for them."

"Them?"

"Anyone! Everyone who crosses my path ends up being hurt… your mother, everyone in Storybrooke, really… my father, Dan-"

Emma looked up in surprise when Regina stopped short. She'd known there was something that Regina had left out earlier, and she was sure whatever name she was about to say, that person had something to do with it.

"Dan...?"

"Daniel," Regina said, after several long moments of silence. She didn't look up as she continued to speak. "He was my fiancé, before I was betrothed to the King. Daniel and I were going to run away together and start a new life, but my mother killed him. She ripped his heart right out of his chest and crushed it in her hand."

"What?!"

"I told you. It was a different world, Emma. It was a long time ago, but… well, it doesn't matter now. The point is, people who love me get hurt."

"So, what, then? You just suffer?"

"I didn't think I was suffering. You know perfectly well that I found ways not to be alone, and when that wasn't enough anymore, I adopted Henry. He was the one thing I thought no one could ever take from me, until you."

"I didn't take Henry. I didn't even try to."

"You don't have to. He's knows who I am, and he's got a birth mother who's a hero. You're going to break the curse, and save everyone, and if I survive that, I'm going to be locked away."

Emma shook her head quickly. "I'm not going to let that happen."

"You can't stop it."

"No. There has to be another way. If breaking the curse means hurting you, then I won't break it."

Regina shook her head and smiled, finally looking up with fresh tears in her eyes. "You know, there was a time where I believed that could be true - that perhaps you wouldn't break the curse. There was a time where I thought maybe - just maybe - there was a future for us. But you can't escape your fate Emma, no more than I can escape mine."

"I make my own fate, Regina. I get a choice in this, and I'm choosing not to hurt you. I won't do it."

"So what are you going to do instead then? Just stay in Boston, knowing where your family is?"

Emma bit her lip. She hadn't really considered her next move. All this information was a lot to process, and even if she was beginning to believe that it all could be true, it wasn't easy to wrap her head around the fact that her parents were in Storybrooke, and that she'd met them. She'd _lived_ with her mother without even knowing it, and still, that wasn't the most pressing thing on her mind.

"Regina… you've been, more or less, a constant in my life for damn near half my life. Even when you weren't around you were still the first person to ever really show any sort of genuine interest in me. I know you think I should hate you, or be angry with you, for taking my innocence or whatever you think you did, but I think you know as well as I do that I wasn't innocent when you met me."

"Okay," said Regina, not quite sure where Emma was headed with this train of thought.

"Okay, so… I'm gonna lay it all out on the line right now. Years ago, you asked me what would happened when I inevitably wanted more. Well, I want more."

"Oh," said Regina, the defeat obvious in her voice.

Emma shook her head, realizing that Regina was absolutely misconstruing what she was saying. "Regina, I want more from you."

"Oh!"

Emma smiled. "We may be two broken people and maybe it will be a disaster, but maybe it won't be? If I go back to Storybrooke, I'll want to find a way to get to know my parents, and I'll want to get to know Henry, if you're willing to invite me into his life, but I want you to know without a doubt, that if I come back, my reason for coming back, is you. My whole reason for staying in the first place was always you."

"I thought you stayed for Henry?"

"Regina, I… he's not really my kid, he's yours. It was hard to give him up, but I did, and he's your son, and you're his mother, not me. If… if by some miracle this all works out, then yeah, I'm gonna want a relationship with him, but I don't ever expect to take your place as his mother."

"Thank you for saying that," Regina said, with a little sniffle. "But I'm not sure he wants me as a mother anymore."

"He's ten. He doesn't know how good he has it, compared to what he would have had with me. But Regina, I don't want to talk about Henry right now. I just want to know one thing. Do you want me to come back?"

"That's why I came here," Regina answered, quickly.

"No, I don't want to know if _Henry_ wants me to come back. I want to know if _you_ do. I can't be in Storybrooke if you don't want me around. I don't know if it's fate, or what it is, I just know I can't be there, and not be with you. It's too hard, and I want more."

"I want you," Regina replied, looking almost as surprised as Emma when the words actually came out of her mouth. Once she'd said them, however, it was like a crack formed in one of the walls she'd so painstakingly enacted around herself, and the words kept pouring out. "I want you, Emma. I've always wanted you. I've been scared, and stupid, and I hurt you, and I'm sorry, but Emma… you belong in Storybrooke, with me."

Emma smiled as she felt tears stinging at the corners of her eyes. A few managed to escape as she got up from her chair and closed the short distance between herself and Regina. Regina stood as Emma approached, and without another word, cupped Emma's face in her hands, drawing her near, into a long, deep kiss.

She felt a flutter in her belly as all the fears and anxiety drained from her in an instant. In this moment, nothing mattered - not the curse or its consequences or even the fact that she was about to embark on a real relationship for the first time since Daniel died. All that mattered, in this moment, was Emma.

And Regina knew, since the moment she'd met her eleven years ago, everything she'd done since then had always been about Emma.

* * *

**To be continued…**

**A/N: I'm not sure how many more chapters are left, but we're heading into the home stretch for this story… it's been quite a journey, since this was the very first Swan Queen story I ever wrote, and also my first attempt at smut, the entire first 18 chapters or so have been completely overhauled and rewritten at least once (some more than once!) since I first published this story, and it's definitely been a learning experience for me! Thanks for sticking with me throughout this journey and I will try not to make you wait too long before the next chapter!**

**Also, feel free to find me on tumblr as rowark-sq :)**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty Five**

* * *

"Here," said Emma, as she walked back into the living room where Regina still sat on the couch, and handed her a cold beer. "After this morning, I think we could both use a drink, don't you?"

Regina raised an eyebrow, but accepted the bottle anyway. "It's eleven in the morning," she pointed out.

Emma shrugged as she sat back down on the couch and twisted the top off her own bottle. "Someone once told me that people like us aren't bound by social etiquettes and mores."

"I was talking about casual sex," Regina reminded her, as she removed the cap from her beer and placed it on the end table beside her. "But I suppose a beer couldn't hurt after the morning we've had. Not my first choice of drink, but it will do."

Emma sighed and shook her head. "It's all I got. Wasn't really expecting company when I picked it up, you know."

"You had company last night," Regina pointed out.

Emma scrunched her face up in a look of embarrassment mixed with regret. "Yeah, I guess you could say that. Wasn't really planning on that, either. But I needed the distraction to chase you out of my head for a few hours."

Regina nodded. "I really did a number on you," she acknowledged. "Why you would still want me is beyond me."

Emma watched her intently as she sipped her beer. The woman sitting across from her now, absently picking at the label on her beer bottle, her legs tucked up under her in a way that seemed far too casual for the Regina she thought she knew, this woman was an anomaly. Emma had known her longer than she'd known anyone in her life, and yet she really knew nothing about her. Even still, she couldn't help but think she was finally getting a glimpse of who Regina really was, on the inside.

"I told you. You were the first person who ever cared about me."

"That can't possibly be true."

Emma shrugged again. "You'd be surprised. I was the kid in the system that no one wanted. I never stayed in any home longer than a couple months, before I got shipped off someplace else. I was always too much to handle. All I wanted was someone to love me. Was that too much to ask?"

Regina shook her head. "No. Of course not."

"Yeah. But no one ever wanted me around. You were different. You let me stay the night with you when you never did that with anyone else. You wanted to see me again. You went so far as to give me a way to keep in touch with you."

"The phone you pawned."

"Yeah. I never would have done that if I wasn't desperate. You know that right?"

"Yes."

"You weren't the first person to only want me for sex, you know. But you were the first person to ever make sure I was really okay with it. You were the first who made it feel good and the first who still looked at me like I was a person when it was over. That might not seem like much to you, but it was to me."

"You were so young," Regina said, quietly.

"You're the only one who's bothered by that. I wasn't a virgin when I met you, Regina. And my friends didn't stand me up that night. I was there alone, and I was hoping some guy would try to pick me up so I could go back to wherever with him, and take his money when it was all over."

"Wait, you were a-"

"No, no… though the thought had crossed my mind. No, I just grabbed the money from their wallets once they fell asleep, and took off. I'm not proud of myself, but life on the street is hard. You do what you have to to survive."

"God, Emma… if I'd known…"

"If you'd known, what? You'd bring me back to your cursed town? I don't think so. You didn't care what I was doing, and Regina, I was okay with that. And I stopped, shortly after I met you. I really did get a waitressing job."

"What made you stop?"

"You."

"Me? Why?"

"I idolized you. As much as I wanted to be with you, I also wanted to be you. I wanted to be this sultry, sexy business woman like you, with all my shit together. It didn't exactly work out quite like that, but I did alright for myself, I think. Eventually. You gave me something to aspire to. You gave me a reason to want better for myself. I don't know… I don't remember telling you I loved you, but maybe I did. Maybe deep down, I knew."

"I once envisioned a life where we were together, raising Henry, as a couple. As a family. Long before I ever knew you were his birth mother."

"It's not impossible, Regina. Curse or not."

"Emma, I don't know what's going to happen when this curse breaks. I don't know how or when, and for all I know we could all end up back in the Enchanted Forest. Everyone's going to want my head on a platter. Best case scenario, I'll end up locked up in the tower in your parents' palace again."

"Again?"

"I did a lot of terrible, horrible things. I was on death row until your mother decided to spare my life. And do you know how I repaid that kindness? By trying to kill her. Again."

Emma studied Regina's face carefully. She was telling the truth, but Emma could see the remorse there. The regret. The fear.

"Whoever you were in that life, I don't think that's who you are anymore. It's been twenty eight years."

"You think I could change?"

"I think, given the chance, you could. Anyone could. I changed. I did better. You can do better. I mean, no one who loves her son as much as you do could truly be evil. You'd have to be heartless, and you're not."

Regina offered a sad smile as she set her barely touched beer down on the end table. "That's easy for you to say because you've never seen me at my worst."

"Or… maybe it's easy for me to see because it's what I'm supposed to see."

"What do you mean?"

"You've said it yourself… fate keeps forcing us to cross paths. If my destiny or whatever was supposed to be to fight you, I don't think we'd have met the way we did. I mean, if my fate were to defeat you, wouldn't I have met one of your enemies instead?"

"I don't think fate is all that specific."

Emma shrugged. "Maybe not. I'm not even sure I believe in fate, to be perfectly honest. But I'm supposed to be the savior, right?"

"Apparently so."

"So what's to say I'm not going to be the one to save you?"

"I supposed there's only one way to find out."

"Go back to Storybrooke," Emma said, nodding her head. "It'll be okay."

Regina smirked. "I suppose if you don't fight me, your parents will want to kill me once they learn who you are and what we've been doing all this time."

Emma groaned. "Well, if Mary Margaret really is my mother, she already knows. I kind of… went to her for advice."

"Advice?"

"Yeah, like… relationship advice? Not that we were in a relationship, but… you know."

"And what about now? Are we in a relationship?"

"I haven't been in a relationship since I was seventeen… Henry's biological dad."

"Neither have I. Not since Daniel. If you don't count my marriage."

"Well, a relationship requires consent, so no, your marriage doesn't count." Emma sighed and shook her head. "Maybe we're both so jaded and fucked up, we might actually be able to make this work. I don't think there's another person on this earth who could possibly understand me the way you can."

"Can I kiss you?"

Emma let out a small laugh. "You've never asked permission before."

"We weren't the same people before. If we're going to do this, I want to do it right, right from the start. We already know the old way doesn't work."

"You're right. And yes, you can kiss me."

Regina took the half empty beer bottle from Emma's hand and set it on the coffee table before moving toward her. She cupped one hand behind Emma's head, lacing her fingers through her soft blonde hair before closing the rest of the distance between them, and pressing her lips hard against Emma's.

Despite how hard and draining the morning had been already, Regina felt a flutter like butterflies deep in her belly the moment their lips touched. For a moment, it was like everything had been erased, all the terrible things she'd suffered, and all of the atrocities she'd committed with her own hand were gone, forgotten in a moment, and she was young and carefree and _in love_ once again.

And in that moment, she considered that maybe - just _maybe_ \- Emma was right. Maybe the savior wouldn't be her undoing. Maybe it would take a savior to redeem the Evil Queen.

It had been a lifetime since Regina had dared to let herself hope for anything, but right now, Emma felt like hope personified to her. Maybe she always had been, and Regina just couldn't see it. Or wouldn't.

Whatever lay in store when they returned to Storybrooke, Regina knew would be beyond her control, but she found she didn't care anymore. Whatever price she might pay when the curse was broken wasn't important anymore.

She broke off from the kiss and moved back just enough to meet Emma's eyes with her own. "Let's go home."


End file.
